Category Archives: Mentoring

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TWO TONGUES?

1 TIMOTHY 3:8

“Deacons likewise must be men of dignity, not double-tongued, or addicted to much wine or fond of sordid gain,”

What in the world does the term “double-tongued” mean? This word is only used here in 1 Timothy 3:8. It literally means to say one thing but mean another. It could be translated as “double speaking.” You may have heard it this way – “talking out of both sides of his mouth.”

You get the picture. A double-tongued person cannot be trusted. That’s why Paul is saying this. A deacon must be trustworthy. He must be someone you can confide in. He must tell you the truth. He must mean what he says and say what he means. Any hedging on that disqualifies him from serving as a deacon.

APPLICATION

We teach our children not to lie, as we should. But we should also teach them this principle. Saying anything with the intention to mislead someone is sin. Siblings will do that, won’t they? What they tell their little brother may be true, but it may not be THE truth. Follow? You see, you can carefully choose your words so they are technically true and at the same time lead someone in the wrong direction.

The Lord wants us to be completely truthful at all times. That’s hard. We can’t do it on our own. Your children will find that out. But with the surrender of their will to His will, He will give them the correct words to say every time. We teach our children to speak as if speaking to the Lord. That way they will always say exactly what they mean.

Have you ever been accused of being double-tongued? Do you have the tendency to mislead people? Confess that as sin today. Ask the Lord to direct your tongue. Seek to follow Him no matter the cost. He will reward those who diligently seek Him.

Father God, keep my tongue focused on speaking Your truths to all people. Forgive me when I fall into the bad habits of misleading others. I want to please You in all I do.

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YOUR REP

1 TIMOTHY 3:7

“And he must have a good reputation with those outside the church, so that he will not fall into reproach and the snare of the devil.”

This verse intrigues me. Why would Paul say an elder must have a good reputation with those OUTSIDE the church? Why be concerned about those people? Isn’t the church the important thing. Of course, the church is important. But Paul is telling Timothy that those outside the church are watching us. We may be the only example of Christ they ever see.

So, it is very important to keep your reputation up among the world. They may not like you, but they need to respect you. If we let our reputation falter due to our own sin and lifestyle, we have lost every opportunity to bear witness for Christ. After all, isn’t that the important thing – sharing Jesus?

APPLICATION

Our children must be taught this important lesson. Their reputation can be damaged in a second. An impulse decision in a weak moment can lead to years of reputation rebuilding. How do we teach our children the importance of maintaining their reputation? 

I truly believe it is by teaching them that they are not just representing themselves and their family. They are representing Christ (if they are a believer). It is Christ’s reputation who is damaged by our disobedience and rebellion. Nothing we can do can diminish who Christ is, but we can cause people to turn away from Christ based on our behaviors. 

How’s your rep? Do you represent Christ in the world? Do your lost friends and neighbors know you stand with Christ? If you have anything in your life that you would not share with Jesus, get rid of it. If Christ wouldn’t do it, you shouldn’t either. Let your reputation reflect Jesus every day.

I want to be an example of Your everlasting love. I want others, lost or saved, to be drawn to me because of my love for You. Thank You for loving me despite my failures.

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DON’T RUSH IT

1 TIMOTHY 3:6

“and not a new convert, so that he will not become conceited and fall into the condemnation incurred by the devil.”

You see it all the time. People get gloriously saved and jump right into some kind of volunteer role at church either teaching or leading some committee. Then something happens and they fall away from the church. There’s a reason Paul warns about this. People need time to grow and be discipled before being thrown into the lion’s den of church service.

Don’t hear me incorrectly. God can use anyone He desires at any time He desires. It is the rare individual, though, who can come to Christ and immediately move into a leadership role. They need time to learn and be tested. We, the body of Christ, need to protect them during this time, so they won’t fall away.

APPLICATION

Explain this verse this way to your kids. Ask them if they think someone who makes the soccer team for the very first time should be the captain of the team and start every game. If they have any knowledge about sports, they will answer, “No.” Ask them why. They will probably say things like, “They haven’t been on the team long enough” or “They don’t know all the other players well enough” or “They need to learn more about soccer first.” 

Kids get it. They see the value in learning before doing. They may know someone who has exceptional soccer skills who made the team and started right away. Like I said earlier, there are those rare individuals. But we normally don’t see that. People grow and develop before taking the starting position or serving as captain.

With all that said, are you growing and developing as a believer so you can serve? Are you being mentored or discipled by anyone to help you mature in your walk with Christ? That’s God’s plan. You start out on milk but advance to solid food. God wants to use you to lead others. Will you let Him?

Father God, I only want to do what You choose to do in and through me. Show me where I need to grow so I can be a more mature follower of Christ and lead others in their walk.

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HOUSEHOLD

1 TIMOTHY 3:4

“He must be one who manages his own household well, keeping his children under control with all dignity”

I bet when you read this verse you picture a man who keeps his children in line. He runs a tight ship. He doesn’t put up with backtalk and misbehavior. Well, the Greek word “manages” actually puts the responsibility on the man, not the children.  

This word “manages” has the idea of “influencing people byhaving a respected reputation. This happens by setting the example of excellence by living in faith.” In other words, he manages his household by setting the example, not by demanding obedience. His family WANTS to follow him.

APPLICATION

How do you get your children to mind you? Do you set a bunch of rules and demand they be followed? Well, that’s one way. But it is probably not the best one. When you set the example for your little Susie or Johnny, they will learn by watching you. Your behavior is much more influential than your words.

If you want your kids to clean their rooms, clean yours. If you want them pick up after themselves, do the same. If you want them to talk in a respectful manner, try it yourself. “Managing” is more about leading than pushing. Kids will follow you anywhere if they know they can trust you.

Are you a manager or a pusher? Ask the Lord to give you the ability to lead well. Your children’s future depends on you leading them in the areas that will affect them for life. They need to see you modeling what you expect from them. In other’s word, quoting “Do as I say, not as I do” just won’t cut it.

O Lord, help me lead well. Help me show others how to walk the walk. I want to be an example for others to follow.

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PUGNACIOUS, WHAT A GREAT WORD

1 TIMOTHY 3:3

“not addicted to wine or pugnacious, but gentle, peaceable, free from the love of money.”

Pugnacious is not a word you use every day, at least I don’t. So, when I see it, I have to stop and ask myself what it means.  I bet you did too.  Well, the Greek word translated as pugnacious means “a bruiser, someone ready with a blow; a contentious, quarrelsome person.” In other words, they are hard to get along with. They are always looking for a fight.

That is not someone you want in a leadership position in your church, is it? In fact, it’s not someone you want leading anywhere. But Paul is giving these qualifications for an elder because he knows the importance of laying aside all your personal beefs with others.

APPLICATION

I hope your child isn’t pugnacious. The word even sounds bad, doesn’t it? We are to teach our children to get along with others, not pick fights with them. Being pugnacious WILL always lead you into trouble. There is no escaping that fact. Being the one to always start fights will give you a reputation that is not exactly flattering.

Your little Johnny or Susie will not understand that word. That’s okay. They don’t have to spell or give the definition. Just make sure they don’t act like it. We should be teaching them to act exactly opposite. They need to be gentle and peaceable. They need to learn to appreciate people’s differences and work with them, not against them.

Are you pugnacious? Are you a bruiser, always looking for a fight? Give it up. Allow the Holy Spirit to live through you. Don’t give in to the flesh which is always pugnacious. If you can’t spell it, you don’t want to be it (lol).

Lord, help me to be a peacemaker, not a warmonger. I do not want to be known as bruiser. I want to be like You.

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HIGH BAR

1 TIMOTHY 3:2

“An overseer, then, must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, temperate, prudent, respectable, hospitable, able to teach,” 

I am sure you have heard the expression “set a high bar.” It comes from the sporting event of the high bar in which the athlete competes by running and jumping over a parallel bar until he/she cannot jump over it without knocking it off the rack. It is supposed to be challenging.

The office of overseer (Elder) has a high bar. Not everyone can rise to this level. Not everyone is supposed to. It is not for the faint of heart. It is challenging. But just like the athlete who clears the bar to set his personal best record, the man who God leads to be an Elder will be overjoyed at the privilege. Pray for your church leaders (Elders and deacons).

APPLICATION

Parents, sometimes we set the bar too low for our children. We let little Johnny or Susie get away with stuff because they are just so darn cute, right? Sometimes we step in and “rescue” them from failure because we don’t want them to feel bad. Don’t do that. Keep the bar high. Make it reachable but challenging. When we don’t push our children to achieve, we are hampering their growth.

How hard should you push them? Ask the Lord. He will tell you. Their goals should be reachable but high. Setting low standards does nothing to encourage growth in our children. High goals can encourage our children to step out on faith, trusting their Lord to guide and provide.

Are you the “play it safe” kind of person? Or are you willing to reach for the stars? Ask the Lord what you should do. He wants us to be the best at what He asks us to do. He wants us to excel and lead others to excel. Will you do that today? Set your goals so that you have to push yourself. You will feel that same rush the jumper does when they clear that bar.

I will trust You, Lord, to lift me to higher standards in my walk with You. I want others to raise their bar also, so help me lead the way. Then, O God, I will give You the praise.

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THAT’S A STRETCH

1 TIMOTHY 3:1

“It is a trustworthy statement: if any man aspires to the office of overseer, it is a fine work he desires to do.” 

Have you ever tried to reach something that was just out of your reach? You wish you had Gumby arms. You lean and lean and reposition, but you just can’t grab it. Well, the Greek word here for “aspire” carries that meaning.  It means “to stretch oneself out in order to touch or grasp something.”

What is really interesting, though, about this word is it is always in the middle voice (hope I didn’t just lose you). That means you have to choose to do it. No one is going to do it for you, nor will it be done to you. In this verse it means only the person mentioned can attempt to grasp the office of overseer. They have to choose to follow the Lord’s leading in that area.

APPLICATION

This will be a fun verse to act out with your children. Get one of their toys and place it just out of their reach. Make sure they can’t do anything to grab it. And then ask them to try to get it. After a few seconds of frustration, have them close their eyes. While their eyes are closed, move it just close enough that you know they can get to it. Then ask them to try again. When they reach out this time, they will be able to grab that toy.

Now, explain to them what you did. You desired for them to get their toy, so you adjusted the distance just enough to allow them to get to it. God is that way with some things in our lives. He places them just out of our reach so we have to stretch ourselves to obtain them. If God spoon fed us everything, we could not grow. By stretching ourselves, we learn to trust Him further. He will not force us to stretch, though. That’s our choice.

What will you do? “Sorry God, I can’t reach that. Could you get that for me?” Nope, that won’t do. If you will reach out and attempt to grab those things He has for you, God will move in to make sure you get them. Aspiring to serve in a leadership role isn’t for everyone but aspiring to serve is. Will you stretch yourself today?

I will reach out for the unreachable today. I will stretch myself because I know You want me to do that, Lord. Help me grasp what You have for me.

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DECEPTION

1 TIMOTHY 2:14

“And it was not Adam who was deceived, but the woman being deceived, fell into transgression.”  

In this sixth verse of Paul’s instructions to women in 1 Timothy he returns to the Garden of Eden again. Timothy had heard this story, I am sure, from his Jewish mother. If you read this verse without the fuller context of Paul’s other letters, you could get the impression that Paul is blaming Eve for all of man’s problems. Paul is simply pointing out the order of the events in the garden.

The issue is not who was deceived first as much as it is the deception itself. Adam and Eve were both deceived by the evil one. He is still deceiving people today. I have been at events where it was obvious he was at work deceiving people. This Greek word has the idea of a baited hook. The hook is there, but the bait is just too good to pass up.

APPLICATION

Now, here is a perfect verse to teach your children the deception of the devil. Take them fishing and use some live bait. As you are baiting their hook talk about how the fish just can’t resist that bait. They see it and ignore the hook. The enticement of the bait is just too much. So, they are deceived into thinking they have a free meal. Once they bite, it’s too late.

Explain to your children that they are susceptible to the same deception from the devil. He will bait the hook for them with something he knows they want. They may even see the hook, but just can’t resist the bait. But Satan keeps his hooks sharp. They will cause pain. They will cause grief. The lure of sin is great, but with the Holy Spirit as their guide, they can avoid these deceptions.

Have you bitten the bait? Have you been deceived? It’s not too late. You may have a scar from that hook, but Jesus can cut that line that is holding you back. We all fall sometimes. Falling isn’t the end. Get back up. Let Jesus remove that hook and begin the healing in your life.  He wants you back in the kingdom work, not sidelined by sin.

Lord, point out to me those hidden hooks of sin that so easily entice me. Give me Your wisdom and discretion to recognize the bait when I see it. I want to serve You.

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GOD HAS HIS REASONS

1 TIMOTHY 2:12

“But I do not allow a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man, but to remain quiet.”

These last three verses are used by some to show that Christian men want to keep women “in their place.” They read these verses, especially today’s verse, and rebel. “How dare we tell women they can’t teach or have authority? How dare we treat women less than women?” But they just don’t understand the full context.

If God’s intention was to keep women in their place, why did He use women so prominently through Scripture (Mary, Deborah, Hannah, Abigail, etc.). God is not saying to keep women down. He has established roles to PROTECT women. Men should be defending their wives. Men should take the responsibility for their roles in the family and in society instead of acquiescing that to women. 

APPLICATION

I am NOT saying we should teach our little girls to sit around in little dresses with lace gloves and sip tea all day. We should encourage our daughters to go after their passions. But they should also recognize that God has set up certain roles for men and women to protect them, not hold them back.

And we should teach our little boys to honor and respect women. They should see their mothers and sisters as worthy of protecting. They should see all women as God does – the perfect completion of His creation. That’s not chauvinist. It’s chivalrous. 

Now, I am sure there will be many who will disagree with this devotional. But hear my heart. God set these roles so men can value women, not devalue them. God set these roles to protect women, not tear them down. God set these roles so men will step up and lead instead of laying back and “letting the women folk take care of the religious stuff.” Trust God’s design. It is perfect, and it works.

Dear Lord, I thank You for setting up Your perfect design for men and women. Help me live it as You intended and not let the world influence it. Show me how to value all the women in my life.

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BE QUIET, WOMAN

1 TIMOTHY 2:11

“A woman must quietly receive instruction with entire submissiveness.” 

I bet the title today caught your attention. Before you get up in arms and write me a seething letter, let me explain. The word “quietly” here does NOT mean speechless. That’s a totally different Greek word. This word means a “God-produced calm which includes an inner tranquility that supports appropriate action.” 

And why should she stay calm? So she can be discipled. That’s what “receive instruction” means. In fact, that word is the word from which we get “disciple.” She can only be discipled if she is willing to be submissive to the one who is discipling her. You cannot teach or disciple anyone who is not willing to be discipled. 

APPLICATION

I truly believe this verse applies to all of us, not just women. Our children cannot be discipled unless they are willing to submit to their parents. Fathers cannot be discipled unless they submit to the one who wants to invest in their lives. You see, it’s not just about women.

So, Mom and Dad, model submissiveness. This teaches your children to do the same. Show that calm spirit that you want them to have. Allow others to disciple you. There is no higher calling than to disciple your children to follow Christ. But you have to model this yourself first.

Do you demand your rights? Do you refuse to follow anyone’s direction? By doing that you are showing an example to others of the exact opposite Christ desires in you. What do you think Christ wants you to do – be rebellious and stubborn or submissive and teachable? Do what you know He desires.

O Lord God, teach me to be calm in spirit and learn from others. Help me come up under their leadership and portray to others a teachable manner. I want to please You.

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