Category Archives: Mourning

Affection, Bible, Death, Emotions, Gentleness, Joy, Mourning, Scripture, Sorrow, Tears

MOURNING – NOT JUST A WOMAN THING

ZECHARIAH 12:14

“all the families that are left, every family by itself, and their wives by themselves.”

Okay, let me ask you something. How many of you grew up being told that real men don’t cry? I can remember my own, dear mother telling me, “Now, now, big boys don’t cry.” I know she meant well and was just trying to comfort me. After all, no one wants to be a cry baby, right? But emotions are felt by all.

In Zechariah 12:12-14, Zechariah says five times, “and their wives by themselves.” Now no one during those days would have been surprised by that. In fact, there were women who were professional mourners. So, why does Zechariah point the women out. Perhaps he wanted to say that so that it would highlight the other mourners, the men. Mind you – this is just my speculation, but it is a thought.

APPLICATION

Let me address the men today. Listen to me – big boys do cry. There is nothing weak about shedding a tear. There is nothing unmanly about showing sorrow and grief. In fact, one of the manliest things you can do is show appropriate emotion when it is called for.

Do I have to remind you of John 11:35. “Jesus wept.” Our Lord and Savior wept at the grave of his dear friend Lazarus. He did not weep because of Lazarus’ death. That would soon be overturned. He knew before He even left for Bethany that He would call forth Lazarus from that tomb. He wept because of the sorrow He saw in the faces of Mary and Martha and others. His heart was touched by that.

I used to get asked to sing a lot at funerals. I seldom had a problem doing that without getting choked up, even if I knew the person well. But if I started looking at the loved ones as I sang, I could easily get teary eyed. Sorrow and grief, men, is a natural emotion God has given us. Show other men how powerful it can be in their lives as you love on others during these times.

Father, thank You for the power of sorrow. It prepares the way for joy!

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Bible, Comfort, Death, Grief, Holy Spirit, Mourning, Scripture

INDIVIDUAL MOURNING

ZECHARIAH 12:12

“‘The land will mourn, every family by itself; the family of the house of David by itself and their wives by themselves; the family of the house of Nathan by itself and their wives by themselves;’”

Mourning is a family affair. When a loved one passes, the whole family comes together to remember them, to share stories, to laugh and to cry. But in all my mourning experiences, it has also been my private mourning. I have mourned the death of a child, my dad, my mom, my brother and both my in-laws. Each death caused me to search my own heart to find the comfort from Christ.

Zechariah continues his thought on mourning in verse 12, but this time he turns to individual families. He looks at the house of David and also the house of Nathan. Who is this Nathan? 1 Chronicles 3:5 says, “These were the children born to him in Jerusalem: Shimea, Shobab, Nathan, and Solomon, four by Bath-shua the daughter of Ammiel;” So, Nathan was David’s son, the brother of Solomon. You see, this mourning had to be individual, not just a national mourning, but a family mourning.

APPLICATION

Or role as believers in this grief process is to be real. We don’t need to hide our tears. Believe me, that is not possible with me. I am Mr. Waterworks, lol. Be transparent without being dramatic. Go to the Psalms. They are full of words to comfort during these times. Psalm 34:18 is one of those verses. “The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

Here’s another one. Psalm 147:3 tells us, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” The point is this – His Word has the power to heal that gaping wound in your chest when your loved one is gone. Only Jesus can soothe you. No prescription, no counselor, no support group (and these are all fine and good things to tap into, if needed) will ultimately heal you. Only Jesus.

In all my grieving moments, nothing brought me more peace than to get alone with my God and talk to Him, knowing He was listening. God speaks to us if we will listen. His Spirit speaks to our spirit. I don’t understand how the heavenly cell service works. I just know it does. Spend some time listening today.

O Lord, I thank You that in my times of grief, You show up and take me into Your arms.

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Belief, Bible, Eternity, Heaven, Mourning, Rejoicing, Scripture

WHAT A SAD, SAD DAY

ZECHARIAH 12:11

“‘On that day the mourning in Jerusalem will be great, like the mourning of Hadadrimmon in the plain of Megiddo.’”

Why do we mourn so severely when a loved one leaves this earth behind? If they are a believer, they are in the arms of their Savior where they wanted to be. We mourn because of our loss, not theirs. We don’t mourn for what they are missing here. We mourn because we no longer have them by our side. We miss their presence. We mourn the void that is left behind.

Today’s verse compares the mourning of Israel’s future Messiah’s death with the mourning that took place at the death of King Josiah, Judah’s most beloved king. The place mentioned, Hadadrimmon, is the location where Josiah was wounded in battle, a wound that would take his life. He was a great king because of his piety and love for the Lord. 2 Chronicles 35:25 tells us about this. “Then Jeremiah chanted a song of mourning for Josiah. And all the male and female singers speak about Josiah in their songs of mourning to this day.”

APPLICATION

When I think about mourning or grief, I can’t help but think about 1 Thessalonians 4:13. “But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers and sisters, about those who are asleep, so that you will not grieve as indeed the rest of mankind do, who have no hope.” O brothers and sisters, just look at that verse. Sure, we grieve over a loved one’s homegoing, but we rejoice also. We know where they are.

Similarly, our Messiah, who was crucified and buried, did not remain there. He is alive today. Our mourning over the death of our Lord is quickly eradicated by the joy we have in knowing He reigns eternally. His resurrection, His defeat of death, gives us the promise of eternal life.

We will mourn here on earth. There is no escaping that. But let us mourn with hope, knowing we will see our loved ones again, if they have placed their faith in Jesus. That behooves us to make sure they all know Him, right? Let’s be diligent to share Jesus with all people, especially those of our own household.

You turn my tears into laughter and my mourning into joy.

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Affection, Bible, Crying, Darkness, Death, Despair, Grief, Mourning, Scripture, Tears

WAILING

ZECHARIAH 11:2

“Wail, juniper, because the cedar has fallen, for the magnificent trees have been destroyed; wail, oaks of Bashan, because the impenetrable forest has come down.”

Have you ever heard someone wail? What is that? It’s a loud scream or howl. It has the sound as if someone is dying. It’s an extreme mournful sound. I have heard that sound several times in my life. All of them came at the scene of death. Someone had died and their loved ones were wailing at the thought of never seeing them again. It’s a gut-wrenching sound.

Zechariah continues the imagery of trees and their representation of Israel, the temple and its leaders. If the temple (cedar) has fallen, then the juniper and oaks (their leaders) would certainly fall. The word for “wail” here is used exclusively by the Old Testament prophets. Isaiah, Jeremiah, Joel, Ezekiel, and Amos also employ the use of this descriptive word.

APPLICATION

What are you wailing about? What has you so upset that you can’t eat or drink? I have seen believers who were so upset they could not function. If that is you, may I encourage you to dry your tears and turn your thoughts towards Jesus. He is the author and finisher of your faith. He can restore what you have lost in His own way.

There have been a couple of times in my life when I found myself wailing from deep, personal heartache. We are told in Revelation 21:4, “and He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away.” Do you believe that? Then trust Him now.

Instead of tears of heartache, I prefer tears of joy. I would rather have tears of repentance than tears of mourning. So, are you wailing? Let your wails be wails of repentance over your sins. Wail to God for Him to forgive you. Wail to Him over the way you have not followed Him as you should. But trust Him in the midst of the wailings. God never runs out of Kleenex to wipe away your tears.

Thank You, Lord, for wiping my tears. I want to wail only over my sins and trust You with all my life.

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Affliction, Battles, Bible, Brokenness, Darkness, Death, Despair, Devil, Encouragement, Enemies, Grief, Heaven, Mourning, Satan, Scripture

THE ENEMY APPROACHES

MICAH 1:15

“Moreover, I will bring on you the one who takes possession, you inhabitant of Mareshah. The glory of Israel will enter Adullam.”

In times of distress the enemy will attack. I just woke up to discover a dear brother in the ministry lost his sweet, precious wife last night. She died suddenly, leaving a gapping hole in my brother’s chest. We are praying for him, but most especially praying protection over him from the enemy’s attack. We know Satan loves to attack us when we are down.

Assyria was attacking Israel and Judah. “The one who takes possession” refers to the enemy invader. God was allowing the enemy to attack in order to judge His chosen people. He was striving to bring them back to Him, even if it meant severe judgment. But God had not broken His covenant with them. Israel (all 12 tribes) was still His child.

APPLICATION

Our spiritual enemy is powerful and very well armed. He loves to catch us unawares and unprotected. Sudden losses in our lives can shatter us emotionally. When we are in these places, the devil will whisper in our ears that God does not love us, that He does not care about us. Do not believe those lies.

That is why it is so important to cover yourself in God’s Word. Only His Word can get you through those times. This morning, the first passage that came to my mind was 2 Corinthians 1:3-5.

“3Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, 4who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. 5For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ.”

My dear brother will be okay. He will get through this. Why? Because I know he loves Jesus and loves His Word which is filled with the promises of God. He knows the Father loves him dearly. He may not understand why He took his bride home now, but he will – eventually. Be on guard my brothers and sisters.

Lord, thank You for Your promises. I know they never fail.

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Advocate, Affection, Bible, Brokenness, Comfort, Compassion, Despair, Grief, Holy Spirit, Mourning

HOW TO MOURN 

MICAH 1:8 

“Because of this I must mourn and wail, I must go barefoot and naked; I must do mourning like the jackals, and a mourning like the ostriches.” 

I have been to a lot of funerals throughout my ministry. Some of those who were grieving were really upset at the funeral. I have experienced some extreme mournings during those services. I have seen people hold onto the casket of their loved ones and just wail and moan. I have seen others fall on the floor sobbing uncontrollably. Everyone mourns differently. 

When I looked at today’s verse in the Hebrew, I discovered something interesting. The four words – mourn, wail, do mourning and mourning – are four different Hebrew words. They each describe the action differently. Look it up yourself. Why would the Holy Spirit lead Micah to use four different words to describe this? I believe it is because one word just can’t express our emotions. Micah is mourning and mourning greatly. 

APPLICATION 

Mourning is an important part of our lives. When we lose a loved one or a pet, we naturally feel empty. I am reminded of a passage from 1 Timothy 4. Verse 13 says, “But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers and sisters, about those who are asleep, so that you will not grieve as indeed the rest of mankind do, who have no hope.” 

Aren’t you glad our mourning isn’t based on earthly guidelines? God is with us in our deepest grief. He holds us tenderly as we weep and mourn. He understands. He created our tears. When we can’t find the words to pray, the Holy Spirit groans for us. 

I have grieved over the loss of a child, a dad and a mom. Other relatives have gone on to their heavenly reward. With each one I grieved differently. Just as Micah used different words to describe his grief, no one word could explain mine. Those are the times when I just rested in Jesus. Words were not necessary. Rest in Him today. 

Father of compassion and God of all comfort, I praise You for the words You give during our times of grief. 

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Affection, Bible, Comfort, Encouragement, Grief, Modeling, Mourning

SACKCLOTH

AMOS 8:10

“Then I will turn your festivals into mourning, and all your songs into songs of mourning; and I will put sackcloth around everyone’s waist, and baldness on every head. And I will make it like a time of mourning for an only son, and the end of it will be like a bitter day.”

I remember the old burlap bags I used to bag up potatoes on my grandmother’s farm. We would dig the potatoes, bag them in those bags and carry them to the old farmhouse and pour them out on the floor for storage. Burlap bags can do a number on your knuckles and hands after a day of lugging those things around.

I can’t even imagine wearing those around my loins. That’s what they did during their mourning. The coarseness of the sackcloth (burlap bag) rubbed them reminding them of their fallen state. It was uncomfortable. They didn’t realize changing your clothes doesn’t bring about true repentance.

APPLICATION

Here in the U.S., we are accustomed to wearing black when we are mourning. A widow or widower will dress in black when their spouse passes away. If you think about it, if the loved one who passed was a believer, we should be celebrating. We should wear bright and festive clothes.

I preached a funeral recently where the widow wore a beautiful turquoise jacket. I bet there were some in the crowd who questioned that. No need to. Her husband loved Jesus. We were giving praise to Jesus for his homecoming. I know she was grieving, but she was also celebrating.

How do you face mourning? Are you trusting in the One who truly knows our griefs? He can restore your joy. He can cause you to celebrate. Let Him lead you during those times of mourning and you will come out the other side singing for joy.

I trust You in the good times, so I will trust You in the hard times.

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Abiding, Bible, Choices, Cleansing, Confidence, Mourning, Offering, Rejoicing, Scripture

IN YOUR MIDST

AMOS 5:17

“‘And in all the vineyards there is mourning, because I will pass through the midst of you,’ says the LORD.”

I’m an extrovert. I love to be around people. It fuels me. I simply love being in the midst of people. Right in the center. Not everyone is that way. Others shun crowds and had rather be alone. I love today’s verse, but I must say it confuses me.

The Lord says His presence would bring mourning. You would think His presence would bring rejoicing. But He is passing through to bring judgment. His presence exposed their sins, thus the mourning. And when God exposes sin, consequences fall. There are always consequences for our sins.

APPLICATION

How much better would it be to welcome God’s presence everyday with nothing to fear? When I worked in children’s homes, we would often go through inspections (health, fire, licensing, accreditation). I wanted to ensure that we were ready for any inspection any day.

I had worked in some locations where inspection days meant extra cleaning and extra work before they arrived. Needless to say, this method did not work when we had surprise inspections. The same applies for us. We need to keep our lives so prepared that when the Lord visits us, we are not embarrassed.

I can honestly say today that I have nothing to hide. I am ready. It is my prayer to do that every day, but I do slip up time to time. I don’t want God’s visit in my midst to bring mourning. I want to rejoice and sing. Can you do that today? Is your life ready for His visit?

I welcome You, Lord. Let Your presence bring for rejoicing and not mourning.

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Advocate, Bible, Comfort, Death, Encouragement, Mourning

MOURNING AND MORE MOURNING

AMOS 5:16

“Therefore this is what the LORD God of armies, the Lord says: ‘There is mourning in all the public squares, and in all the streets they say, ‘Oh no! Oh no!’ They also call the farmer to mourning and professional mourners to mourning rites.’”

In the past few months, we have seen a lot of death in our community. I personally have been to several visitations and funerals. And I have observed a lot of mourning. Mourning comes from loss. Mourning comes from grief. How do we, as believers, handle such loss?

Amos tells us the Lord’s words concerning this. He was, of course, talking to Israel, but the words apply to us. When we suffer loss we are driven to mourning. I can recall the days after 9-11. Not only my country, but the whole world mourned. We saw prayer meetings and church services being held all over the world for the loss of life on that day.

APPLICATION

How I mourn is so important. We are told that we do not mourn as those who have no hope. When we have a loved one die who knows the Lord, there is a loss here on earth but there is a gain in heaven. We will see them again. The mourning should be short lived.

But when we lose someone who does not know Jesus as their Savior, that is a deeper loss. May I encourage you today to reach out to all those you love who are in that group? You don’t want to grieve in that way. You don’t want your mourning to be that deep.

Someone told me the other day that we spend so much time getting people to agree to go to heaven and then we are upset when they go. They have won the ultimate victory – the victory over death. They moved from this world to the next and received glory. Hallelujah! Praise His name.

O God, help me mourn with those who mourn. Let me also point all I can to You, who can lessen the mourning and lead us home.

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Advocate, Affection, Affliction, Bible, Blessing, Comfort, Encouragement, Hope, Intimacy, Mourning, Scripture

MOURNING

AMOS 5:1

“Hear this word which I am taking up for you as a song of mourning, house of Israel:”

Mourning is hard. If you have ever had a loss of a loved one in your life, you know what I mean. Everyone mourns differently. Some, seemingly, mourn quickly and move on with their life. Others take months, even years, to fully mourn their loss. But everyone feels their mourning, in one way or another.

Israel seemed to be clueless. Amos introduces for the third time in five chapters the reality of mourning. Israel was so full of itself, it totally overlooked its loss. God had removed Himself from them to allow their judgment to fall. They had plenty to mourn, but were too busy to notice – until it was too late.

APPLICATION

Are you aware of your losses? Are you stuck in your mourning? I have good news for you. God is here. He is right where you are, no matter where you are in your mourning cycle. He can soothe the most broken heart. He can comfort us so that we can comfort others (2 Corinthians 1:3-5).

If you are going through a process of mourning right now, don’t let anyone tell you how to do it. They haven’t been where you are. Everyone’s loss is different. But there is one who can relate fully and completely. His name is Jesus. Tell Him how you feel. Cry on His shoulder. He will be with you through the entire process.

I have suffered loss in my life (child, parent, sibling, friends). Each loss hit me differently. But through each loss, God’s strength was inside me. He gave me the ability to cope. Without Him I do not know how I would have dealt with each loss. But praise be to God, He knows how. Amen?

Lord, I praise You for the strength You give to Your children during their times of loss. You are truly the balm of Gilead.

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