Advice, Bible, Child Raising, Child Rearing, Deception, Disciplemaking, Encouragement, Foolishness, Mentoring, Modeling, Obedience, Parenting, Redemption, Testimony

MESSED UP

TITUS 3:11

“knowing that such a man is perverted and is sinning, being self-condemned.”

We have two Greek words in this verse that are only used here. First, we have “perverted.” Now, this word isn’t what you think. We all have our image of a pervert. No, this word is more like corrupt, to be turned inside out. They are just doing things all wrong. The other word used once is “self-condemned.” And it means just that. By his own actions he condemns himself. He knows what he’s doing is wrong and still does it. This is that factious man mentioned in verse 10.

Do you know someone like that? We are to pray for them, but we are not to hang out with them. You may have heard the expression, “If you lie with dogs, you’re going to get fleas.” Well, Paul is warning us here that these people have no intention to live right. Therefore, we have to keep a safe distance. We still pray for them and love them. But we just can’t be associated with them until they repent.

APPLICATIONS

I pray your children never become that kind of person. How do you prevent that? Your part is setting the environment for God to draw them. Prayer time is key. We teach our kids to pray and explain to them why we pray. We let them in on our prayers, especially when we see God answer them.

We teach them God’s Word and let it permeate their minds. We make sure they see the importance of the Word in our own lives. We make our decisions as a family based on God’s Word. Then when they respond to the Lord, we disciple them and help them grow. That will go a long way towards protecting them.

I also pray that you aren’t living a life that is self-condemning. Are you? Are you doing things you know aren’t pleasing the Father? Stop! Repent. Come back to Him. We can justify just about anything. We will even find Scriptures to justify our positions. Do not be “perverted” or “self-condemned.” Come to Jesus.

I thank You for rescuing me from myself. I am dangerous left to my own desires. But You have put a new heart within me, and it beats for You.

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TALK TO THE HAND

TITUS 3:10

“Reject a factious man after a first and second warning,”

What is a factious man? Well, it’s someone who loves to divide and cause schisms. They love to stir up stuff. So, Paul says to give them a couple of warnings. Then if they don’t stop, withdraw from them, reject them, shun them. God is not about chaos, therefore, neither should we be.

Unfortunately, many of us are so insistent on seeing our agenda carried out that we will, as my dad used to say, argue with a fence post. I’ve seen this happen between close friends. I’ve seen it happen among church staff. I’ve seen it happen when both sides have good ideas or motives. But it is important to remember we are to preserve the unity.

APPLICATION

Okay, mom and dad, let me ask you a question. Are you a factious? Do you demand your rights to the point that you cause division? Your kids are watching. Why do we think we can act one way and expect our kids to act another? We can’t! We can’t preach one thing and live another. Our children learn far more from our actions than our words.

Is it easy to “be the wrong one” for the sake of peace? Nope! I hate it. But for the sake of unity, we are asked sometimes by the Lord to let it go. It is far more important to teach our children how to work with others than to demand their rights. Now, there are times when we must stand our ground. But most of our disagreements could be settled with some compromise.

Will you pause before reacting next time? Stop and ask yourself if this is worth the division it will cause if you push your side. I bet you will find it’s not. Believe me, this is one area I have to look at internally myself. I can be hard-headed and demanding. I know I’m right and will bow up to prove it. Join me in some self-examination.

Help me, Lord, to pause and reflect before reacting. Help me see the big picture and the need for peace. I praise You for the strength to do this.

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BE CAREFUL

TITUS 3:8

“This is a trustworthy statement; and concerning these things I want you to speak confidently, so that those who have believed God will be careful to engage in good deeds. These things are good and profitable for men.”

How careful are you? Paul tells believers in this verse to be careful to engage in good deeds, but what exactly does he mean? Let’s look at that word “careful.” It means to continuously connect your insight or your inner perspective to your outward behavior. In other words, to do what you know you should do. In this case, that is engaging in or setting the example in good deeds.

And we are careful to do that, not to gain favor with God, but because they “are good and profitable for men.” We don’t do good deeds to get brownie points. We do good deeds because it is the right thing to do and because we love the Lord. Our deeds should always be motivated by love, not by our desire to get something back.

APPLICATION

Are your children good deed doers? Some kids are just built that way. They love to help others. Encourage that. Find ways to help them fulfill that desire. There are plenty of opportunities around you. Perhaps you have an elderly neighbor who needs their lawn mowed or raked. Maybe your child can help cut out crafts for Sunday School. Help them to be “careful.”

But you also may have a child who isn’t bent that way. They tend to be more self-centered. Well, now is the time to teach them. But don’t make it burdensome or they will resent it. Find something that will interest them. I am sure they have some kind of interest which can be redirected towards someone else’s need. Perhaps someone on their ball team doesn’t have all the equipment they need because they can’t afford it. Have them share. There is always way to help them be “careful.”

And how about you? Are you putting into practice your inner perspective? Are you being careful to do good deeds? You can set the example for your children. Let your actions be profitable for men, especially your children. As they see you and perhaps help you to do good deeds, you are teaching them to be obedient to the Lord. That pleases Him. It’s a win-win-win.

I will be careful today to do good deeds. I will put my inner desires into action. Above all, Lord, I want to please You.

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BORN AGAIN

TITUS 3:5

“He saved us, not on the basis of deeds which we have done in righteousness, but according to His mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewing by the Holy Spirit,”

You’ve heard this expression, I’m sure. You are born again at salvation. Well, in today’s verse we have that expression defined in the word “regeneration.” The Greek word literally means birthed again. It’s only used twice in the New Testament. It’s used here and also in Matthew 19:28 where it refers to the rebirth of physical creation when Christ returns to begin His millennial reign.

But not only are you reborn, you are also renewed. This word means to have a whole new development, a renewal which is through God’s power. You see, this is all done by God. You didn’t rebirth yourself nor renew yourself. God saved you. That’s a fact. And if He does something, you can take it to the bank. It’s done. It’s complete. It’s forever.

APPLICATION

Explaining this to your children can be challenging, depending on their age. Do you have any videos of their birth? Drag them out. Show them the video and celebrate their birth. Then ask them this question. “Did you do anything to help in your birth?” Of course, the correct answer is “no.” All they did was surrender to the process. They were depending on mom pushing them out and the doctor delivering them.

The same is true for their spiritual birth. For that to happen they have to surrender to the One who is drawing them out of darkness. When they do, He delivers them into the light of His love. They are totally dependent upon the Lord to bring them into this new life.

Let me ask you this. If you are born again, are you living like it? Are you walking in your renewal? So many of us come to Christ and then try to keep one foot back in the old life. Regeneration and renewal imply a fresh start, a clean slate. The old has passed away. There is no room in the regenerated, renewed life for the old ways. Accept the change. Embrace your new life.

Lord, I will walk in newness today. I will lay aside all the past ways and embrace all You have for me in my new life. Thank You for my rebirth in Christ.

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BOY, WE WERE A MESS

TITUS 3:3

“For we also once were foolish ourselves, disobedient, deceived, enslaved to various lusts and pleasures, spending our life in malice and envy, hateful, hating one another.”

Does this describe you before Christ? It does me. I hate to admit that, but I was all those things. Paul nails it. Do you know why? Because he was the same way. Do you remember Paul (Saul then) before the Damascus road? I am sure Paul was reflecting on his own life before Christ as he wrote these words to Titus.

What a change Jesus makes. We stop being so foolish because we trust His wisdom. We begin to obey out of love for our new Master. We exchange the slave chains of lusts and pleasure for being a bond-slave to Jesus. We lay down malice and envy for love and mercy for others. We love rather than hate. With Christ in our life, our past is laid to rest.

APPLICATION

Take this verse and make a list of these “not so nice” qualities. Get your children to give you examples when they or someone they know have acted this way. Ask them why they think the Lord doesn’t want that for us. You may be surprised. They may name you. Now, don’t be offended. It should give you a wake-up call that they are watching all the time.

It is important for your children to know that at salvation Jesus gives them all the power they need to overcome these old, nasty actions. But they have to submit to Him daily, really every second. They may be young, but their flesh is strong. Help them learn how to overcome the desires of the flesh by bathing them in the Word and guiding them into Spirit-filled living.

How are you doing with your flesh today? Left on our own we are doomed. We cannot defeat it. But we don’t have to. The Spirit of the living God dwells within every believer empowering us to conquer the flesh. It is He who loves rather than hates. It is He who chooses to obey rather than disobey. Let Him have all of you today.

Lord, I yield my spirit to Your Spirit right now. I desire to walk in obedience. I will not succumb to the desire of my flesh this day.

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NICE GUY

TITUS 3:2

to malign no one, to be peaceable, gentle, showing every consideration for all men.”

Are you a nice person? I mean, do you portray these traits Paul lists in today’s verse? These are admirable traits, but I guarantee you they are not possible for long without Christ being the center of your life. Christ showed us all of these while He was here on earth. If He can live them out, we can too. We just have to allow Him to live them through us.

“To malign” means to speak evil against someone. That’s not our calling. “To be peaceable” literally means not to fight. For some of us that’s hard. “Gentle” means to be forbearing or reasonable toward others. That can be tested at times, can’t it? And “showing every consideration” has the idea that you can show restraint.

APPLICATION

Aren’t those four traits worth instilling in your children? How many times have you had to stop your children from doing the exact opposite? Instead of not speaking evil, they are constantly tattling or trying to get their sister or brother in trouble. Flesh does not have to be taught how to be fleshly. It comes natural. Our job as Christian parents is to consistently hold that flesh accountable. We must take every opportunity to point them towards the attributes of Christ.

Will your children embrace these traits? Only if they first know Christ. Trying to “force” these behaviors on your child before they know Him may get them to follow a rule, but it won’t change their heart. Only Jesus can do that. So, is it hopeless? Of course not! But know that the heart change is not your responsibility. Your job is to keep pointing them to Jesus. Jesus is big enough to handle the rest.

Which of these four traits gives you the most trouble? Probably, for me, it’s being gentle. I often have unreasonable expectations of others and am not very forbearing. I expect too much or I want them to comply to my wishes. That’s not being Jesus. The only way I can live this out is to surrender my desires to His. I have to see the other person through His eyes. Then I can show the gentleness of Christ.

I desire to live out these traits towards others, Lord. I know that I may be the only Jesus they ever see. Help me be that to them today.

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DON’T BE IGNORED

TITUS 2:15

“These things speak and exhort and reprove with all authority. Let no one disregard you.”

We have a difficult word in today’s verse. The Greek word translated “disregard” is only used in this verse. It has more to do with us than others. Paul is telling Titus to be forceful, to stand up for himself. Now, that had nothing to do with who Titus was. It was about Who he represented and what he was saying. He said to “speak and exhort and reprove with all authority.”

People are going to despise us. People are going to try to ignore us or push us aside. There are times when we must stand up and be heard. I don’t mean in an ugly way. But we must speak truth and be heard. We, in fact, have an obligation to do that. When we have been entrusted with the only truth, and we hear it being twisted to lead others astray, we have to speak. Is that comfortable? Not to most of us, but it must be done.

APPLICATION

Teaching our children to stand up for themselves and the Lord is a worthy goal. We don’t want our children to be pushovers. But we also don’t want them to be arrogant and snobby. There’s a fine line which is successfully walked only when Christ reigns in their life. It is important that we live this out for them in the way we deal with others in their presence. We can all be Jesus to others wherever we are. It just requires us to submit and let Jesus do the talking.

Have you ever had your faith “attacked” by someone in front of your children? How did you respond? This is not a time to get into a theological debate. This is the time to simply speak the truth, but speak you must. To not reply can send the message to your child that it is not worth responding. They need to know that you will defend the Gospel and that you believe what it says. Our actions speak volumes.

Are you able to speak out? Are you willing to stand for truth? Will you “speak and exhort and reprove with all authority.” Paul’s command to Titus applies to us today, therefore, the last part of the verse does as well. “Let no one disregard you.” You represent the King of kings and Lord of lords. You have His authority. Act like it.

Father, I carry Your seal stamped on my heart. You have given me Your authority to yield. Help me stand for truth!

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SHOW YOURSELF

TITUS 2:7

“in all things show yourself to be an example of good deeds, with purity in doctrine, dignified,”

Bottom line? Our faith is public! Our relationship with Jesus is private. But if our faith is real, others are going to see it. Paul is telling Titus that so clearly here. Every word of this verse points this way. “Show yourself” has the meaning of holding something up close to someone to show them. You can’t hide stuff when it’s up close. They see it all.

And what should they see? That you are an example. That word has the idea of a stamp that is on you. They can see the image of it on you. What’s the image? Christ, course. They are His good deeds done through you, not yours. Your teaching, which is done publicly, is imperishable and pure. It’s not tainted. They can trust it. And finally, he says “dignified.” This invites reverence from others because they see you are the real deal. Public, not private.

APPLICATION

Public faith in your home begins with you, mom and dad. You can’t just tell your kids about Jesus. You have to live it out. Seeing faith lived out shows them how to do it. Head knowledge is great. We must teach them the Word of God. We need to memorize His Word. But unless we are willing to apply it in our everyday lives, it is futile and meaningless.

Faith is a shareable commodity. We receive it from the Lord at salvation, and we are expected to share it. It’s one of those rare items that grows the more we give it, like love. As you share your faith in your daily life, as others see you live it out, it inspires them toward a deeper faith. You may never even know who you are influencing, but they are watching. There will be times you make a faith decision when your children are in the background just observing. God is using you. It’s public, not private.

Are you one of those “private” Christians? Are you afraid you may offend someone if you share your faith? Listen, if you are sharing the example of faith given to you in Christ, let it offend. I don’t mean to be judgmental or critical. I mean let it convict. True faith in Christ will expose those around us who are living outside of faith. Let your faith draw them home.

Faith is Your gift to me You gave with the intention of giving it away. Help me live my life today that others can see my faith in You is real and alive. I pray someone will come to faith today.

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TAKE A DEEP BREATH

TITUS 2:6

“Likewise urge the young men to be sensible;” 

What a beautiful word! The Greek word for “sensible” is one of those words which can never be truly translated into English. It’s so much more than sensible or self-controlled. Let me break it down for you. I promise you are going to like it.

The root word comes from two Greek words. One means “safe” and the other means “what regulates life.” We get our word “diaphragm” from that second one. Now, get the picture. This word literally means “safe breath.” In other words, take a breath, breathe deeply. You can even use the illustration of a singer who has learned to control their breathing using their diaphragm to hold that consistent note.

APPLICATION

I don’t even have to tell you how to apply this verse, do I? How many times have you told your kids to count to ten before they say something? How many times have you had to do that? I usually have to count a little higher, lol. But here Paul tells Titus to command the young men (yes, he literally writes it that way) to take a breath. Why the young men? Because he knows they are more than likely to be the ones to lose it.

We men tend to live on bravado. We have to prove our manhood. Or at least we think we do. Dads, stop that. Your words don’t prove manhood. How macho you are doesn’t prove manhood. It’s how consistent and dependable and reliable your walk with Christ is that proves that. Jesus was all man, and He never had to bow up at anyone. Sure, He cleared the temple, but that was about His Father, not Him.

So, the next time you are tempted to blow it, take a deep breath. Be sensible. Pretend you are an opera singer holding that last, sustained note. You have to concentrate to keep it from going flat. You have to focus on your diaphragm to let out just the right amount of air with that note. Then let the melody that comes out of your mouth be one that brings honor to our Lord. Amen?

I want my response to others to be one that is clear and calm. Help me today to measure my tone and words to do that. I praise You for giving me the ability to do that through You.

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SACRED

TITUS 2:3

“Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good,”

Women, did you know you are supposed to be sacred? Yep, that’s what this verse says. The Greek word for “reverent” come from two Greek words – “temple” and “fitting.” In other words, your behavior should be like that, fitting a temple or sacred place.

But what does that mean? Most of us have never been in a temple. And many of our churches today or designed with such a contemporary feel that the reverence that used to be attributed to it just isn’t there. This reverent, this sacred behavior refers to our behavior, wherever we are. In fact, the two Greek words used here, “reverent” and “behavior” are only used right here in the New Testament. Reverence does not depend on where we are. It depends on how we live.

APPLICATION

Do you want reverent kids? I don’t mean they walk around wearing little suits or dresses, quoting the Bible in the KJV all the time. I am talking about children who seek to glorify the Lord in their every action. Who doesn’t want that? Children learn to be reverent by observing reverence. You, mom and dad, must portray the kind of God-honoring behavior that exemplifies it.

We teach our children to be sacred and reverent by our everyday actions. How do you treat the waitress who messes up your order? How do you respond to an unkind word from a cashier at the store? How do you react in traffic when someone cuts you off? Your children are watching all these reactions. Teach them how to be reverent in every situation.

Did this hit you hard? Join the club. But aren’t you thankful the Word convicts us? Aren’t you glad the Lord does let us get away with this stuff? We are influencing people everyday by our behaviors. Let your mind dwell on Him so that all you do glorifies Him today.

I am so far from doing this right, Lord. But my desire is to do it. I want others to see You in me in everything I do.

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