Category Archives: Parenting

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PITCHING THE CHANGE UP

1 TIMOTHY 3:15

“but in case I am delayed, I write so that you will know how one ought to conduct himself in the household of God, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and support of the truth.”

Don’t you love to watch a good pitcher work the plate? He can throw various pitches to strike out the batter or try to force him to hit a grounder. Some have special pitches they are known for, but just about all will throw the “change up.” What is that you ask? A “change up” is an off-speed pitch thrown to look like a fast ball but arriving much slower to the plate. It’s also known as a slow pitch. It surprises the batter, normally getting him to swing and miss.

Why am I talking about baseball? Because the Greek word for “conduct” means to literally change up, behave, to overturn. Just like the batter that will recognize that pitch after it’s thrown, people should notice our behavior is different. There should be a noticeable difference in the way we talk and how we walk. We should live in such a way that our conduct will cause the devil to swing and miss when he tries to score on us.

APPLICATION

One way in which you can tell when your children really “get it” about Christ is a change in their behavior. A lot of kids will pray the sinner’s prayer but never “change up.” Their walk doesn’t change. They don’t show any kind of marked difference in how they respond to correction or direction from you. Now, they don’t have to be perfect, but there should be some change.

Teach your little Johnny what it means to conduct themselves in a manner that will surprise the world. When the world expects him to retaliate, forgive. When the devil puts an obstacle in his path, ask the Lord to remove it. When someone hurts his feelings, don’t respond in kind. Change up! 

Are you willing to “change up”? Is there a marked difference in the way you live your life now as a believer over how you lived as an unbeliever? There should be. Maybe it’s time you learn a new pitch. Surprise the devil! Surprise the world!

Father, I tend to keep throwing the fast ball and expecting the same result. Help me “change up.” I want to live my life in such a way that the world truly is surprised at my conduct.

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I SURE HOPE SO

1 TIMOTHY 3:14

“I am writing these things to you, hoping to come to you before long;”

Strong’s Concordance defines “hoping” as “actively waiting for God’s fulfillment about the faith He has inbirthed through the power of His love.” I really like that – actively waiting. If you are like me, I never considered waiting an active thing. Waiting for a movie to start is the worst. I really don’t like just sitting there and seeing all those commercials or previews. I came to see the movie, not that. Maybe I need to see that waiting as active also.

Paul was hoping to come to see Timothy there in Ephesus. He was longing to reunite with his apprentice, his child in the faith, his traveling buddy. And this hope was based on faith. Paul loved Timothy, and I am sure he missed him. Aren’t reunifications after long periods of time sweet?

APPLICATIONS

I bet your little Gertrude is hoping for something right now. It may be a new doll or a new dress. It may be a visit to or from someone special. Whatever it is, ask her why she wants that. Get her to explain why she is so passionate about it. She may find it hard to put into words but encourage her to do so. Hoping for something is not a bad thing. It can, in fact, build faith.

As believers, we are hoping for that glorious day of Christ’s return. We know He is coming. We just don’t know when. It could be today. Now explain to your child this hope. It’s like none other because we KNOW it will come to pass. No other hope is as sure. Hoping in Christ is a done deal. All we have to do is “actively” wait.

Are you actively waiting? Or are you like me at the movie theater waiting on that movie to start. Today as you sit in traffic or wait in line at a restaurant, try waiting actively. Take that time while you are waiting to recite some Scripture. Sing a hymn. Pray. Don’t let those moments slip by without using them to invest in God’s kingdom.

Help me, Lord, to redeem each moment given to me today. Help me use every second to help fulfill Your kingdom here on earth. My hope lies only in You.

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ONE STEP HIGHER

1 TIMOTHY 3:13

“For those who have served well as deacons obtain for themselves a high standing and great confidence in the faith that is in Christ Jesus.”

We find another one-time used word in today’s verse. The Greek word “standing” is only used right here in the Bible.  It literally means a step on the staircase, going one step higher. Figuratively, it implies someone who has made a higher rank or higher position. That may imply something that Paul never intended.

If you look at this verse in context of all the qualifications for a deacon, you will get an idea of Paul’s meaning here. Deacons who serve well will be given more important roles to serve the body. By serving well they have shown they are trustworthy and are ready to do even more. It may also imply they are worthy of being considered as elders, a higher “office” in the church.

APPLICATION

“Okay, Carl, tell me how to teach this verse to my children.” Glad you asked. Children need to earn the right to be trusted with some things. We don’t just give a five-year-old a laptop and set them free. We don’t give a thirteen-year-old the privilege of a cellphone unless we know we can trust them to use it wisely.

Some things are gained by being obedient in the small things. Jesus even taught that. By growing in our faith and experiencing trials, we learn how to help others going through similar times. Our children need to be taught that their small steps of faith now will prepare them for those “leaps of faith” that are coming. And by being proven trustworthy now, they can be given greater responsibilities in the future.

Do you clamor for more? Do you want to be recognized for your achievements? Then do it all for Jesus. By surrendering your will to His, the Lord may just bless you with opportunities. Remember what Joshua 1:8 says. “‘“This book of the law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it; for then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have success.’”

All I want is to please You, Lord. If that means I serve lower than the rest, that’s fine. If it means I am entrusted with greater responsibilities, so be it. My joy comes from serving You.

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JUST ONE WIFE

1 TIMOTHY 3:12

“Deacons must be husbands of only one wife, and good managers of their children and their own households.”

Most of us could not imagine a husband having more than one wife. But in some parts of the world, that is not an unusual custom. That undoubtedly was an issue where Timothy was or Paul would not have mentioned it here and back in verse 2 of this chapter. Paul would not have wasted words on this if it wasn’t an issue.

So, what does Paul say about this – that a deacon should only have one wife? He is specific – he said ONE. But why? So he could concentrate more on things of the Lord. If a man has multiple wives, he would not be able to focus on his responsibilities as a deacon. That’s all Paul is really trying to say.

APPLICATION

Now, I am not telling you to talk to your children about only having one husband or wife. That would be silly. So, how do you apply this verse to them? Let me ask you a question. Do you believe every verse of the Bible has meaning for everyone? Of course, it does. 

I believe our focus should be on teaching our children to not allow distractions to pull them away from their service to Christ. Whatever that might be should be removed or avoided. As believers, we cannot allow anything to tear us away from serving our Lord. Even the choice of a mate needs to be highly considered.

Are you single focused? Do you allow anything or anyone to distract you from serving Jesus? I can’t imagine having more than one wife. I would be torn who to love the most. I would be so concerned about them that I would be useless for my Master. Don’t you do that.

Thank You, Father, for working in and through me. Help me stay focused on You and eliminate things that pull me away. Staying focused is key.

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THE QUALITIES OF A GODLY WOMAN

1 TIMOTHY 3:11

“Women must likewise be dignified, not malicious gossips, but temperate, faithful in all things.”

Okay, I didn’t write this verse. I am just reading the next verse in 1 Thessalonians 3. Paul wrote this to the women in the Thessalonian church, but it applies to all women who profess Christ as Savior. We see four qualities in the verse – dignified, not malicious gossips, temperate and faithful. We don’t have the time or space in this short devotion to go into each in depth, so let’s just look at one. How about not being malicious gossips? After all, men are just as bad about that.

So, what does that mean? It means someone who is a back-biter, who unjustly accuses to bring someone down. Not a very nice person. Do you know anyone like that? There are some people who are JUST like that. They are people to avoid at all costs. You can’t trust them because before you know it, they will spreading rumors about you or lying about you.

APPLICATION

You are going to have to deal with this, for sure. Children can be very cruel to each other. Now, I’m not saying your children are cruel (they may be) but they may be the victim of another child’s cruelty. We naturally want to make ourselves look better than others. Pride and arrogance are part of our fleshly nature. Children, therefore, will go that route if left unchecked.

How do we teach them to not gossip, to not tear down, to not put themselves over others? By showing them the model we have in Christ and by modeling it ourselves. They will never learn how to walk like Jesus unless they see you doing the same. They will watch you and learn how to treat others. They will watch you and learn how to speak only in kindness and truth. 

Will you do that? Will you only speak in kindness and truth? Will you cease gossiping? Will you only build up others? Do you remember the old saying, “What Would Jesus Do?” Then do it.

Help me, Lord, hold my tongue. Help me to say only things that build up. Let me see myself as second to everyone for the sake of seeing some come to Christ.

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NO EVIDENCE

1 TIMOTHY 3:10

“These men must also first be tested; then let them serve as deacons if they are beyond reproach.”

I need to say something right from the beginning about this verse. It is not saying a man must be perfect to be a deacon. “Beyond reproach” means there is no evidence that can be found to convict him. It can also be translated as “blameless.” So, a man who desires to be a deacon must keep his nose clean, as the saying goes.

Why is that important? Because we believers should stand out in a lost world as different. The lost should see us as different. They should know there is something different about us. If we have the same junk in our lives as the world, why should they surrender their lives to Christ?

APPLICATION

Are your children beyond reproach? Hardly! Being beyond reproach takes time to prove. The verse says they must be tested. This means to prove what is good. How do you do that with your little Johnny or Susie? You must give them ample opportunities to build their faith and trust the Lord. You must observe them “walking the talk” and hold them accountable.

Our children need to know they are going to mess up. But they need to know there is forgiveness. And anything He has forgiven cannot be held against them. Christ died to forgive them of their sins, and He is interceding right now for us against the great accuser, the devil. They can be beyond reproach only though Christ.

How would you test out? Would you be found guilty right now of all your sins? Or are you beyond reproach because you are a child of the King? Live victoriously. Live with purpose. Live blameless because of Him.

Lord God, I give You all the praise for the forgiveness I have received and will receive through You. Thank You for seeing me as clean and beyond reproach. That is only possible through Your Son, Jesus Christ.

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YOUR REP

1 TIMOTHY 3:7

“And he must have a good reputation with those outside the church, so that he will not fall into reproach and the snare of the devil.”

This verse intrigues me. Why would Paul say an elder must have a good reputation with those OUTSIDE the church? Why be concerned about those people? Isn’t the church the important thing. Of course, the church is important. But Paul is telling Timothy that those outside the church are watching us. We may be the only example of Christ they ever see.

So, it is very important to keep your reputation up among the world. They may not like you, but they need to respect you. If we let our reputation falter due to our own sin and lifestyle, we have lost every opportunity to bear witness for Christ. After all, isn’t that the important thing – sharing Jesus?

APPLICATION

Our children must be taught this important lesson. Their reputation can be damaged in a second. An impulse decision in a weak moment can lead to years of reputation rebuilding. How do we teach our children the importance of maintaining their reputation? 

I truly believe it is by teaching them that they are not just representing themselves and their family. They are representing Christ (if they are a believer). It is Christ’s reputation who is damaged by our disobedience and rebellion. Nothing we can do can diminish who Christ is, but we can cause people to turn away from Christ based on our behaviors. 

How’s your rep? Do you represent Christ in the world? Do your lost friends and neighbors know you stand with Christ? If you have anything in your life that you would not share with Jesus, get rid of it. If Christ wouldn’t do it, you shouldn’t either. Let your reputation reflect Jesus every day.

I want to be an example of Your everlasting love. I want others, lost or saved, to be drawn to me because of my love for You. Thank You for loving me despite my failures.

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DON’T RUSH IT

1 TIMOTHY 3:6

“and not a new convert, so that he will not become conceited and fall into the condemnation incurred by the devil.”

You see it all the time. People get gloriously saved and jump right into some kind of volunteer role at church either teaching or leading some committee. Then something happens and they fall away from the church. There’s a reason Paul warns about this. People need time to grow and be discipled before being thrown into the lion’s den of church service.

Don’t hear me incorrectly. God can use anyone He desires at any time He desires. It is the rare individual, though, who can come to Christ and immediately move into a leadership role. They need time to learn and be tested. We, the body of Christ, need to protect them during this time, so they won’t fall away.

APPLICATION

Explain this verse this way to your kids. Ask them if they think someone who makes the soccer team for the very first time should be the captain of the team and start every game. If they have any knowledge about sports, they will answer, “No.” Ask them why. They will probably say things like, “They haven’t been on the team long enough” or “They don’t know all the other players well enough” or “They need to learn more about soccer first.” 

Kids get it. They see the value in learning before doing. They may know someone who has exceptional soccer skills who made the team and started right away. Like I said earlier, there are those rare individuals. But we normally don’t see that. People grow and develop before taking the starting position or serving as captain.

With all that said, are you growing and developing as a believer so you can serve? Are you being mentored or discipled by anyone to help you mature in your walk with Christ? That’s God’s plan. You start out on milk but advance to solid food. God wants to use you to lead others. Will you let Him?

Father God, I only want to do what You choose to do in and through me. Show me where I need to grow so I can be a more mature follower of Christ and lead others in their walk.

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CAREGIVER

1 TIMOTHY 3:5

“(but if a man does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of the church of God?),”

Paul continues his qualifications for an elder in today’s verse with an explanation of the previous verse. This verse tells us why it is important for a man to manage his household properly. If he can’t, he sure can’t “take care” of the church. Now, just wait until you hear about the Greek word for “take care.” It is so cool.

This Greek word is only used three times in the New Testament. It is used here and two times in Luke 10:34-35. Here is the cool part – that is the story of the good Samaritan. Do you remember that story? He took care of the Jewish man beaten by robbers and left for dead. He even paid the inn keeper to take care of him once he left. That is how an elder is supposed to take care of the church, and he can’t do that if his own house is not in order.

APPLICATION

Okay, you know where I am going with this, don’t you? You have to jump back to the Good Samaritan story to explain this word and verse to little Elrod and Gertrude. They will get that. You can even act out the story with you. You can show them how to “take care” of someone. They will love it.

Then, once they have a good picture of this, take them back to today’s verse and explain how a good leader in the church does the same thing for those in the church. He helps bind their spiritual wounds and enlists others to help.

Are you a caregiver? Do you even care how your church family is doing? So many of us just go to church and go home. We don’t get involved in each other’s lives. But we need to. We need to care for those who hurting. We need to care for those who are going through some kind of trial. Will you care today?

You are the greatest caregiver, Lord. Help me see what You are doing and just get involved in it. I want to please You in all I do.

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PUGNACIOUS, WHAT A GREAT WORD

1 TIMOTHY 3:3

“not addicted to wine or pugnacious, but gentle, peaceable, free from the love of money.”

Pugnacious is not a word you use every day, at least I don’t. So, when I see it, I have to stop and ask myself what it means.  I bet you did too.  Well, the Greek word translated as pugnacious means “a bruiser, someone ready with a blow; a contentious, quarrelsome person.” In other words, they are hard to get along with. They are always looking for a fight.

That is not someone you want in a leadership position in your church, is it? In fact, it’s not someone you want leading anywhere. But Paul is giving these qualifications for an elder because he knows the importance of laying aside all your personal beefs with others.

APPLICATION

I hope your child isn’t pugnacious. The word even sounds bad, doesn’t it? We are to teach our children to get along with others, not pick fights with them. Being pugnacious WILL always lead you into trouble. There is no escaping that fact. Being the one to always start fights will give you a reputation that is not exactly flattering.

Your little Johnny or Susie will not understand that word. That’s okay. They don’t have to spell or give the definition. Just make sure they don’t act like it. We should be teaching them to act exactly opposite. They need to be gentle and peaceable. They need to learn to appreciate people’s differences and work with them, not against them.

Are you pugnacious? Are you a bruiser, always looking for a fight? Give it up. Allow the Holy Spirit to live through you. Don’t give in to the flesh which is always pugnacious. If you can’t spell it, you don’t want to be it (lol).

Lord, help me to be a peacemaker, not a warmonger. I do not want to be known as bruiser. I want to be like You.

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