Category Archives: Mentoring

Bible, Child Raising, Child Rearing, Disciplemaking, Encouragement, Inspirational, Mentoring, Modeling, Obedience, Parenting

THAT’S NOT YOURS

TITUS 2:10

“not pilfering, but showing all good faith so that they will adorn the doctrine of God our Savior in every respect.”

Pilfering! That’s not a word you use regularly, is it? I can’t recall using it much. The Greek word translated that way is only used three times – here and in Acts 5:2-3. And that’s an interesting story. It’s the story where Ananias and Sapphira decided to keep back part of the money from a land sale and lied to the church. They pilfered the money. In fact, the Greek word is in the middle voice which means they made their own decision to do that. No one made them. They chose to lie and steal.

We do the same thing when we choose to pilfer from God. We do it to feed our own fleshly desires. How soon we forget that all we have is His and all He has is ours. There is no need to pilfer, even for the smallest things. So, why do we pilfer? Why do continue to look out for ourselves first?

APPLICATION

I have seen children pilfer. Sometimes they do it out of survival. Sometimes it’s because of greed. But every time it is done, it is sin. Our role as parents includes teaching our children that our source is God, not whatever is in front of them at time. When your son or daughter understands that fully, the temptation to pilfer will cease. They begin to see the big picture.

One of the best ways to combat this is to teach them to share. I had the pleasure to serve a Children’s Home in Tennessee which was the recipient of tons of Christmas gifts each year for the kids. One year a local business blessed us with over 17,000 items for Christmas (you read that correctly). We had our children go through our Santa’s Workshop store and shop for their families. These kids (who didn’t have much of their own) didn’t pilfer for themselves. They got to share. What a lesson.

Are you a pilferer? Or are you a sharer? Those are two totally different mindsets. I pray your desire to bless others is stronger than your desire to bless yourself. Self-gratification seldom lasts long, but the satisfaction we get from seeing someone else blessed lasts. Be a blessing today.

I am so grateful for the ways in which You bless me daily. Keep my eyes on blessing others and keep my eyes off myself. I shall serve You with all my heart.

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Bible, Child Raising, Child Rearing, Commands, Disciplemaking, Encouragement, Following, God's Will, Inspirational, Love, Mentoring, Modeling, Obedience, Parenting, Service

YES, MASTER

TITUS 2:9

“Urge bondslaves to be subject to their own masters in everything, to be well-pleasing, not argumentative,”

Our one response to our Master, Jesus Christ, should be “Yes, Master.” Paul spells it out clearly for the earthly bondslave, one who is bound to a master willingly. How much more should we exercise these same responses to our heavenly Master and Lord. We are to be subject to Him (to place ourselves up under His plan). We are to be well-pleasing (focused on gratifying) and not argumentative (doing nothing to speak against).

“Oh, come on Carl. I am always that way with the Lord.” Really? Tell me about it. Do you always submit your will to His? Are you willing to do whatever He asks whenever He asks it? Is your mind always settled on pleasing Jesus? You can’t tell me there aren’t sometimes when you prefer to gratify yourself. And do you ever argue with God? I know I do.

APPLICATION

These principles of living for Jesus are things that we as parents must teach our children early. Think about it. We all want submissive, well-pleasing, nonargumentative children, right? How do you think that happens? We model it in our lives. We correct them when they allow their little, fleshly heads to rise up. We point them to Jesus in every situation.

Now, we don’t want mindless robots obeying our every order, do we? (Some of you may say, “Yes) Neither does Jesus. He made us to think and react. He wants us to yield to Him. He wants us to serve out of love, not fear. In the same way, we want our children to learn to do the same. They should make their decisions based on their inner desire to please and honor us and Jesus. That only comes through surrender to Him.

Are you struggling with submission today? There are days when we do. It’s normal. Our flesh can be strong. It’s okay. Take a moment and confess that to the Lord. Ask Him to give you the strength to submit. That may sound strange, but it does take strength to submit. We have to lay down our desires for the greater good – His good. Will you do that today?

Father, today I lay down my desires in order to please You. I will hold my tongue and do what You ask. I am here to serve.

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SHOW YOURSELF

TITUS 2:7

“in all things show yourself to be an example of good deeds, with purity in doctrine, dignified,”

Bottom line? Our faith is public! Our relationship with Jesus is private. But if our faith is real, others are going to see it. Paul is telling Titus that so clearly here. Every word of this verse points this way. “Show yourself” has the meaning of holding something up close to someone to show them. You can’t hide stuff when it’s up close. They see it all.

And what should they see? That you are an example. That word has the idea of a stamp that is on you. They can see the image of it on you. What’s the image? Christ, course. They are His good deeds done through you, not yours. Your teaching, which is done publicly, is imperishable and pure. It’s not tainted. They can trust it. And finally, he says “dignified.” This invites reverence from others because they see you are the real deal. Public, not private.

APPLICATION

Public faith in your home begins with you, mom and dad. You can’t just tell your kids about Jesus. You have to live it out. Seeing faith lived out shows them how to do it. Head knowledge is great. We must teach them the Word of God. We need to memorize His Word. But unless we are willing to apply it in our everyday lives, it is futile and meaningless.

Faith is a shareable commodity. We receive it from the Lord at salvation, and we are expected to share it. It’s one of those rare items that grows the more we give it, like love. As you share your faith in your daily life, as others see you live it out, it inspires them toward a deeper faith. You may never even know who you are influencing, but they are watching. There will be times you make a faith decision when your children are in the background just observing. God is using you. It’s public, not private.

Are you one of those “private” Christians? Are you afraid you may offend someone if you share your faith? Listen, if you are sharing the example of faith given to you in Christ, let it offend. I don’t mean to be judgmental or critical. I mean let it convict. True faith in Christ will expose those around us who are living outside of faith. Let your faith draw them home.

Faith is Your gift to me You gave with the intention of giving it away. Help me live my life today that others can see my faith in You is real and alive. I pray someone will come to faith today.

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HUSBANDS AND WIVES

TITUS 2:5

“to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.”

Okay, I can’t use this verse and ignore that phrase – “being subject to their own husbands.” Some women, even Christian women, are offended when they are told that. It’s God’s Word, not man’s, so I guess you have to take it up with Him. But before you do, let’s look at it very briefly. Why did the Holy Spirit tell Paul to write this? It must have been important because God doesn’t waste words.

The Greek word here is hypotássō which comes from hypó, “under” and tássō, “arrange”. It literally means to put under God’s arrangement, to submit to the Lord plan. From the beginning, God placed order in the home and had a plan for men to lead and protect women. Is that always how it happens? No! But it is God’s design. And we know when we submit to God’s plan, it is always best for us.

APPLICATION

How do we teach our children subjection? By modeling it. Moms, when you have the opportunities to yield to your husband’s directions, do it and make sure your children know it. They must learn to trust his leadership as you do. The buck stops with him. However, dad, you will be a smart husband and father if you first consult and talk over any decision with your wife first. Her subjection to you does not give you the right to be her master. That is NOT the idea behind God’s plan.

There will be times when mom and dad disagree. Children need to see that resolved, not argued over. And in the end, God’s plan provides the protection. Remember, we are not simply raising children. We are raising child raisers. You want your boys and girls to grow up with this Biblical model so they in turn will raise your grandchildren this way.

This will probably not be a popular blog. That’s okay. The purpose of this blog is not to entertain. It’s to share a nugget from God’s Word. Some nuggets are sweet. Some are sour. Some are easy to chew. Some are tough to swallow. I just pray you won’t throw out the nugget. It’s there for a reason. Blessings!

Dear Lord, I know I have not led well as a husband or father at times. Forgive me. Let my plan always be in subjection to Your plan because I know it is best.

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Bible, Child Raising, Child Rearing, Disciplemaking, Encouragement, Family, Fatherhood, God's Will, Holy Spirit, Inspirational, Love, Mentoring, Modeling, Parenting, Praise, Women

YOU GOTTA LOVE

TITUS 2:4

“so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children,”

Oh, what a beautiful word we have today in this verse. And like many words the Holy Spirit inspired Paul to use, the Greek word for “encourage” is only used right here in Titus 2:4. This word gives the picture of passing on to someone else what the Lord reveals is true balance. It has to do with discovering and living out His will.

Now, look at what that is in this verse. She is to encourage them to love their husbands and their children. And if this verb’s definition holds, they are to love each in a balanced way. Why do I bring that up? Because too many women put their children way before their husbands. It has to be balanced, ladies. Your love for your husbands must not fall below your love for your children. You are a team, and it must be balanced.

APPLICATION

“Well, my husband knows I love him.” Really, how many times have you put your child before your husband in the past week? Now, hear me out. I’m not trying to make you feel guilty. There are times you have to put the child first and hubby has to come along and help. But oftentimes the child’s schedule dictates the marital relationship.

How about you two scheduling some time just for you. It doesn’t have to be a date outside the home. It could just be 10 minutes to talk. And, depending on the age of your children, let them know this is daddy-mommy time. I promise they will learn to respect it and appreciate it. It shows them you have a commitment to each other which makes them feel secure.

I don’t want to leave you dads out today, though. This can happen on your side as well. You can’t spend all your free time with Johnny on the ballfield and neglect your wife’s needed time with you. Balance is the key. Make sure she WANTS to spend time with you. And then blow her socks off with an unexpected gift or praise.

Father, thank You for giving us children to love and spouses to partner together. Help me to love my wife only as You can through me. The love of Christ is all I want to share.

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SACRED

TITUS 2:3

“Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good,”

Women, did you know you are supposed to be sacred? Yep, that’s what this verse says. The Greek word for “reverent” come from two Greek words – “temple” and “fitting.” In other words, your behavior should be like that, fitting a temple or sacred place.

But what does that mean? Most of us have never been in a temple. And many of our churches today or designed with such a contemporary feel that the reverence that used to be attributed to it just isn’t there. This reverent, this sacred behavior refers to our behavior, wherever we are. In fact, the two Greek words used here, “reverent” and “behavior” are only used right here in the New Testament. Reverence does not depend on where we are. It depends on how we live.

APPLICATION

Do you want reverent kids? I don’t mean they walk around wearing little suits or dresses, quoting the Bible in the KJV all the time. I am talking about children who seek to glorify the Lord in their every action. Who doesn’t want that? Children learn to be reverent by observing reverence. You, mom and dad, must portray the kind of God-honoring behavior that exemplifies it.

We teach our children to be sacred and reverent by our everyday actions. How do you treat the waitress who messes up your order? How do you respond to an unkind word from a cashier at the store? How do you react in traffic when someone cuts you off? Your children are watching all these reactions. Teach them how to be reverent in every situation.

Did this hit you hard? Join the club. But aren’t you thankful the Word convicts us? Aren’t you glad the Lord does let us get away with this stuff? We are influencing people everyday by our behaviors. Let your mind dwell on Him so that all you do glorifies Him today.

I am so far from doing this right, Lord. But my desire is to do it. I want others to see You in me in everything I do.

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Advice, Bible, Child Raising, Child Rearing, Deception, Disciplemaking, Encouragement, Eternity, Holy Spirit, Lies, Mentoring, Modeling, Obedience, Parenting, Testimony

PRETENDERS

TITUS 1:16

“They profess to know God, but by their deeds they deny Him, being detestable and disobedient and worthless for any good deed.”

Don’t you just hate people who pretend to be one thing but aren’t? Hate is really too strong a word. We shouldn’t hate anyone, except Satan. But pretenders are very hard to like, much less love. Paul had undoubtedly dealt with some of these folks through the years. He is now warning Titus to be careful. They say they know God, but…

Paul says their words don’t match their actions. They are detestable. That Greek word is only used right here. It means revolting, abominable. Then he says they are disobedient. This word really has the meaning that they can’t be persuaded. Don’t waste your time. And finally, Paul says they are worthless. That’s kind of harsh, isn’t it? The Greek word means unapproved or rejected.

APPLICATION

So, let me ask you something. Is that how you want you or your children to be known? “Not really, Carl.” Then you have to decide to surrender your life fully to Christ as you walk with Him daily. We can’t say we believe Christ and not follow Him. We can’t say we love Christ and yet hate others. As you live out Christ, your children will see the connection. When they don’t, point it out.

There are far too many people in the church today who are playing pretend Christianity. They don’t seem to realize that the Lord sees right through that. And if you are walking in the truth daily, you will also. Your children, however, can be hoodwinked. People can fool them. Teach them to allow the Holy Spirit who resides within them to reveal people’s real motives. He will.

Pretenders know ABOUT God, but they don’t know God. If they really knew Him, they would not be detestable, disobedient or worthless. They would welcome good deeds and would be qualified to carry them out. Why? Because they would be done to glorify Jesus, not themselves.

How do you measure up? Are you pretending rather than living truth? Playing pretend can be fun if your playing. It’s not if you are talking about eternal things. There’s no fooling the Lord. Why don’t you today allow the Lord to set you free from the temptation to deceive others about your walk. Live in truth. It’s so much simpler.

You are the Real Deal. There is no pretending with You. I want to be known by others as genuine and true.

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STAINED OR UNSTAINED

TITUS 1:15

“To the pure, all things are pure; but to those who are defiled and unbelieving, nothing is pure, but both their mind and their conscience are defiled.”

Have you ever used stain on a piece of wood? My dad taught me how to stain. He showed me the difference between a piece of stained and unstained wood. You can see the grains that run through the wood when it’s unstained. But when you apply even a light coat of stain, those grains pop out. It changes your view of the wood.

That’s probably a poor analogy, but today’s verse has two very contrasting views – pure and defiled. You could translate these two words as unstained and stained. One is not distracted by the world. The other lives for it. One sees all things as God sees them. The other sees all things as they prefer to see them. Which are you?

APPLICATION

Shaping your child’s worldview is so important. But it begins with their salvation. Only God can truly change how they see the world. You, however, play a huge role in that you help set the environment in which they can readily adjust their eyes to see God’s truth and be ready to hear His voice. Once they respond to His calling (and He is calling them) He will give them that pure heart which will cause them to see “all things are pure.”

Or, you could choose to let your child just decide on their own about religion. After all, you wouldn’t want to influence them in such a private matter. Hogwash! What is more important – where they will spend eternity or being at school on time? We guide our children in life changing decisions. We don’t let them “figure it for themselves.”

Do you see the world clearly? Are you looking through lenses shaped by God’s purity? If not, you have chosen to wear the eyewear of the world in which everything is defiled and stained. Why not today trade in your old glasses for a brand, new pair fashioned by the Lord exclusively for you?

Thank You, Lord, for focusing my eyes on You. I know I can see more clearly when I see with a pure vision. I choose to look up, not down on this world You have placed me in.

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DON’T GET LED ASTRAY

TITUS 1:14

“not paying attention to Jewish myths and commandments of men who turn away from the truth.”

This verse may not seem very important, but it really is. Paul is telling Titus to reprove the false teachers and make sure are not being led astray by “Jewish myths” and “commandments of men who turn away from the truth.” Did you get that? These men were listening to untruths and teaching them. They were being led astray.

Sometimes lies can sound so much like the truth. It can be easy to be led astray, especially if the information is coming from someone you trust. So, how do you protect yourself from that? You have to know the Word. Anything that goes against it is NOT the truth, no matter what the source. Traditions and ordinances are not the truth.

APPLICATION

Children will believe most people in authority – teachers, preachers, deacons, etc. That’s why it is important that they are grounded in the Word. That’s your job as parents. Teach them that if they hear anything that sounds a little odd to come to you to check it out. Theirs is nothing wrong with that. And a true teacher of the Word will never be offended by that.

What a valuable skill for your children. Recognizing truth and lies will help them throughout their life. The Word has to be their foundation, however. They are going to bombarded with “other” truths from seemingly trustworthy sources. Some of those sources will be people they admire, but any deviation from God’s truth is falsehood. God’s truth is timeless.

Do you struggle with discerning between truth and falsehood? Perhaps you have fallen for a “little falsehood.” Little falsehoods don’t exist. False is false. Lies are lies. Measure every truth and myth with THE TRUTH.

I know I can only trust Your truth, O Lord. Give me discernment to recognize and disclose any falsehoods. Let me be bold for Your Word.

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TOUGH LOVE

TITUS 1:13

“This testimony is true. For this reason reprove them severely so that they may be sound in the faith,”

When I read this verse, I was trying to figure out what point to emphasize. I settled on the word “severely.” Why? Because so many times we rebuke others so cautiously they truly don’t understand the severity of their sin. We hear people all the time talking about God’s love. I even heard someone on tv say one time that the Gospel means God loves you. While that statement is true, that is not the Gospel.

Paul says to rebuke them severely. That means just what is says. Give it to them with both barrels. If you don’t, they could very well spend eternity in hell. I know you don’t want that. They may get upset with you. That’s okay. I had rather have a mad friend in heaven than an unoffended friend in hell. Point out their errors from God’s perspective. The rest is up to Him. He will “close the deal.”

APPLICATION

This applies to our children as well. There are time when a swift, severe rebuke is called for. I don’t need to spell out what that means. You know. Don’t let the crocodile tears or the puppy dog eyes sway you. If you truly love your children, you will administer quick and decisive discipline. If you don’t, you are asking for trouble. They will figure it out, and you are gone for.

Willful disobedience is my threshold. When a child willfully disobeys, I respond with the severe rebuke. They know better, yet they willfully disobey. You have to be aware of their actions though. You can’t go on word of mouth. When they see you being consistent and harsh, you will begin to see a different child.

Are you willing to be the “bad guy”? Are do you compromise so they will still like you? Only one of these choices has a happy ending. I believe you will find if you will start out as firm rebuker, you will have fewer and fewer opportunities to show it. People will know you mean what you say and say what you mean. They will respect your approach. Do what God’s word says and experience the freedom of firmness.

Father, I don’t like being too firm with others, especially my own children. But I know You have called me to confront others in sin. Give me boldness to approach them and win them to Jesus.

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