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HUSBANDS AND WIVES

TITUS 2:5

to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.”

Okay, I can’t use this verse and ignore that phrase – “being subject to their own husbands.” Some women, even Christian women, are offended when they are told that. It’s God’s Word, not man’s, so I guess you have to take it up with Him. But before you do, let’s look at it very briefly. Why did the Holy Spirit tell Paul to write this? It must have been important because God doesn’t waste words.

The Greek word here is hypotássō which comes from hypó, “under” and tássō, “arrange”. It literally means to put under God’s arrangement, to submit to the Lord plan. From the beginning, God placed order in the home and had a plan for men to lead and protect women. Is that always how it happens? No! But it is God’s design. And we know when we submit to God’s plan, it is always best for us.

APPLICATION

How do we teach our children subjection? By modeling it. Moms, when you have the opportunities to yield to your husband’s directions, do it and make sure your children know it. They must learn to trust his leadership as you do. The buck stops with him. However, dad, you will be a smart husband and father if you first consult and talk over any decision with your wife first. Her subjection to you does not give you the right to be her master. That is NOT the idea behind God’s plan.

There will be times when mom and dad disagree. Children need to see that resolved, not argued over. And in the end, God’s plan provides the protection. Remember, we are not simply raising children. We are raising child raisers. You want your boys and girls to grow up with this Biblical model so they in turn will raise your grandchildren this way.

This will probably not be a popular blog. That’s okay. The purpose of this blog is not to entertain. It’s to share a nugget from God’s Word. Some nuggets are sweet. Some are sour. Some are easy to chew. Some are tough to swallow. I just pray you won’t throw out the nugget. It’s there for a reason. Blessings!

Dear Lord, I know I have not led well as a husband or father at times. Forgive me. Let my plan always be in subjection to Your plan because I know it is best.

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YOU GOTTA LOVE

TITUS 2:4

“so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children,”

Oh, what a beautiful word we have today in this verse. And like many words the Holy Spirit inspired Paul to use, the Greek word for “encourage” is only used right here in Titus 2:4. This word gives the picture of passing on to someone else what the Lord reveals is true balance. It has to do with discovering and living out His will.

Now, look at what that is in this verse. She is to encourage them to love their husbands and their children. And if this verb’s definition holds, they are to love each in a balanced way. Why do I bring that up? Because too many women put their children way before their husbands. It has to be balanced, ladies. Your love for your husbands must not fall below your love for your children. You are a team, and it must be balanced.

APPLICATION

“Well, my husband knows I love him.” Really, how many times have you put your child before your husband in the past week? Now, hear me out. I’m not trying to make you feel guilty. There are times you have to put the child first and hubby has to come along and help. But oftentimes the child’s schedule dictates the marital relationship.

How about you two scheduling some time just for you. It doesn’t have to be a date outside the home. It could just be 10 minutes to talk. And, depending on the age of your children, let them know this is daddy-mommy time. I promise they will learn to respect it and appreciate it. It shows them you have a commitment to each other which makes them feel secure.

I don’t want to leave you dads out today, though. This can happen on your side as well. You can’t spend all your free time with Johnny on the ballfield and neglect your wife’s needed time with you. Balance is the key. Make sure she WANTS to spend time with you. And then blow her socks off with an unexpected gift or praise.

Father, thank You for giving us children to love and spouses to partner together. Help me to love my wife only as You can through me. The love of Christ is all I want to share.

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LEFT BEHIND

TITUS 1:5


“For this reason I left you in Crete, that you would set in order what remains and appoint elders in every city as I directed you,” 

We have all heard stories about parents mistakenly leaving their children. Of course, one of the classic Christmas movies is “Home Alone” in which Kevin McAlister is left behind when his family leaves for vacation. It’s humorous on the screen. It’s not so funny in real life.

This is NOT what Paul is talking about. He left Titus in Crete for two reasons – to set things in order and to appoint elders. Paul had seen Titus’ worthiness during their travels together. He knew he could be trusted to carry out these duties. Crete was not an easy place to minister. Cretans were known to be pretty crude and hard to deal with. But Paul knew Titus could handle it.

APPLICATION

I pray you never leave your child behind accidentally. But I do pray that you can have enough confidence in them to do it intentionally. “Boy Carl, that’s confusing.” Let me explain. We want our children to become independent. We want them to show responsibility. What better way than to let them be tested for short periods of time, all the while under your guidance.

We have way too many “helicopter” parents. These are parents who literally hover over their children and do everything for them. That will never prepare your child for living on their own. Think of some tasks you can give your child to let them learn to be depended upon. They may fail, but they will fail safely.

Are you trustworthy to be left behind? Could Paul have left you behind to accomplish his instructions? We are not all leaders. That’s okay. But we all have our roles to play in carrying out God’s plan. Are you doing what the Lord has asked you to do? If not, start today.

I am thankful You see me as worthy of Your trust. I will do my best to accomplish Your will for me. I consider it an honor to serve You.

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I CANNOT LIE

TITUS 1:2

“in the hope of eternal life, which God, who cannot lie, promised long ages ago,”

We have probably all heard the story about George Washington (the first President of the United States) as a boy when he was asked who cut down the cherry tree. He said, “I cannot lie. I did it.” We don’t know if that was legend or truth, but he was known as an honest man, not prone to lie. In today’s verse we see that character trait attributed to God, who also cannot lie.

Now, unlike George Washington, God is truly not capable of lying. There is no deceit in Him. He is pure truth. It is interesting to me that the Greek word used here for “cannot lie” is only used right here in this verse. Only God cannot lie. Everyone else is capable, including you and me.

APPLICATION

How many times have you told your child, when correcting them, “Now, don’t lie to me”? We want them to tell the truth. I know when my children were small, I could deal with almost any behavior, but just don’t lie to me. That made things worse. So, how do you get your children to be truthful? Bathe them in the Word. Only the truth of God can transform them into truth tellers rather than liars.

Your job as mom and dad is to obey the Holy Spirit’s leading in your life to provide the environment for salvation and spiritual growth. That includes you being truthful. Have you ever involved your child in a lie? What message does that send your child? If it’s okay for mom or dad, it’s okay for me. And then you punish them for lying to you. Confusing! You must model and live a truthful life for them to follow.

Are you known as a truthful person or a liar? When you give your word, can you be believed? If you are a believer, you represent our heavenly Father who cannot lie. Remember that. It’s not just about your reputation. If the lost world cannot trust Christians to tell the truth, why should they believe anything we say about the Gospel?

Forgive me, Father, for not being truthful at times. I tend to rationalize and justify my lies, but they are just sin. Help me remember it is You who lives within me, who cannot lie.

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KNOW YOUR PURPOSE

TITUS 1:1

“Paul, a bond-servant of God and an apostle of Jesus Christ, for the faith of those chosen of God and the knowledge of the truth which is according to godliness,”

Several years ago, Pastor Rick Warren wrote a book entitled “The Purpose Driven Life.” It was a number one best seller and launched him on to talk shows all over the United States. Why? Because people want to know their purpose in life. They want to know why they are here. They want to know what they should be doing.

Paul knew! He was a bond-servant of God (a slave of his own choosing). He was an apostle of Jesus Christ (one sent with a message). He purpose was to grow the faith of those chosen by God (reach and teach them). And he was to preach the truth.

Paul knew his purpose and makes sure Titus knows this in his first words of the letter to him.

APPLICATION

Man, oh man! If we can help our children discover their purpose early in life what a difference that would make. I am not saying they should know their career path at five. I am talking about knowing who they are and why they are here. That can only be taught through God’s Word through His worldview. When your child comes to Christ, He will reveal through His Holy Spirit what they are to do with their life to glorify Him. What they do for a living isn’t important.

But so many of we parents are so focused on our children becoming doctors or lawyers (nothing wrong with that, just examples). Instead we need to focus on bringing them up with a vision for God. That can only be taught if we have it. Do you?

What exactly is your worldview? Do you see everything through God colored glasses? As believers, we should see ourselves, our family and others as God sees us. We were all created in His image with one purpose – to glorify Him. We exist to give Him glory. Those whose follow His calling on their lives (and He calls us all but only a few answer) will discover their purpose. Have you?

Father, I am so thankful my purpose is clear. I will glorify You today. I will give glory to You for all You do in and through me.

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SELECTIVE HEARING

2 TIMOTHY 4:4

“and will turn away their ears from the truth and will turn aside to myths.”

I get accused sometime of selective hearing. What does that mean? It means I choose to hear what I want to hear. I guess there is some truth to that. That’s probably true of most of us, though. We choose what we want to listen to or whom we want to listen to. If I am in the presence of someone I don’t want to hear, I can tune them out or leave the room. It’s my choice.

Paul is saying in today’s verse that these individuals have chosen to turn their hearing away from the truth and to turn instead to myths. Both of these verbs imply it’s their choice. No one has forced them. They have deliberately chosen this. How sad! But before you judge to quickly, we do the same. We love God’s Word until it says something we disagree with. Now, that’s really sad.

APPLICATION

Try this with your kids. Sit down and make a list of your house rules. Hopefully, you don’t have a lot. But make a list. Now, ask them which ones they like and which ones they don’t like. Ask them which ones they won’t to do away with. I bet bedtime guidelines will be the first to go, lol. Another might be eating their vegetables. What kid likes that one?

But do your children understand the reasons behind these rules? That’s your responsibility. Rules without reasons are ridiculous. Of course, you have bedtime rules. They have to get their rest. Of course, they have to eat vegetables. They need a good diet. If you let them pick and choose which rules to listen to their little lives would be a mess in no time.

Are you a rule follower or a rule breaker? Do you follow God’s guidelines until they go against what you want to do? You must trust that He knows what is best for you. You may not understand why and that’s okay. You don’t have to. Just trust Him. He’s been guiding His saints a long time. Will you do that today?

I will trust You even when I don’t understand why. I know You always have my best interest in mind and want to make me more like Christ. Help me die to myself today and trust Your direction.

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TOO SMART TO LEARN

2 TIMOTHY 3:7

“always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.”

There are two different Greek words for “learning” and “knowledge.” In English we commonly equate the two. But not in the Greek. The word “learning” refers to fact knowledge or book sense. “Knowledge” is an intensified word for experiential knowledge. In other words, these people have the knowledge to do what it is right but have chosen to do it their way, refusing the truth that stares them in the face.

I bet you have NEVER done that, lol. How many times have you done something you knew was wrong, thinking this time it won’t be so bad? You had the head knowledge, but you refused the truth of the situation and forged ahead, only to pay the price later. So, don’t be too quick to judge these people Paul is referring to here. I believe Paul knew these people he is referring to. We just don’t have their names. When you get out of line, don’t you want God to call your name?

APPLICATION

When I was little, my brother and I would save our money and buy model cars and ships. We spent hours gluing and painting, only in the end blowing them up with M80’s. What fun! But I hated the instructions. My brother, Tim, he followed them. For some reason, his models were always more stable and looked more like the box.

We teach our kids to follow the instructions (God’s Word) for a reason. We will have to apply them. When we do, God carries us through. But when we allow our children to make up their own rules and ignore truth, things get sloppy. They stop looking like the rest of the world and insist their normal is normal. A return to the pure instruction manual is the only remedy for our children and the children of the world.

Do you follow or make it up as you go along? Being in Children’s Ministry, I can’t “wing it.” Kids know it when you are winging it. They will bring down the house. Satan knows when you are winging it. He will bring all he can against you to try to make you miserable and unfit for ministry. Don’t let him. Cling to the truth. With it, you are able and to have the knowledge.

I only know what is useful to the kingdom or me because of You, Lord. I celebrate the freedom we have in Jesus to think, but also under constraint.

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NOT A NICE PERSON

2 TIMOTHY 3:3

“unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good,”

Paul is describing those who are not lovers of God. These words paint a picture of a not very nice person. And (at least to me) it’s interesting that four of these six words in today’s verse are only used right here. Remember, the Holy Spirit inspired Paul to write only what the Father wanted him to write. So, these words were saved for right here.

The saddest word of this verse is the first one, “unloving.” It refers to not having any kind of natural affection. Actually, it can describe family affection. So, these people don’t even love their own families. Now, that’s sad. Who doesn’t love their momma? Who doesn’t love their little sis? But these individuals only think of self, no one else.

APPLICATION

Go through this list of words in today’s verse with your little ones. Ask them how they can do the opposite. Instead of not loving their family, how can they show love? Instead of being irreconcilable and hard to get along with, how can they get along? You can go through each of these words this way. Your children will understand, if you will take the time to cover each word.

The important thing to point out is these words in today’s verse describe someone who does not love Jesus. We want to draw a sharp contrast, as Paul does, of the difference in our lives. Everything we teach our children should point them to Christ. There is no aspect of their life in which He is not concerned.

How loving are you today? How agreeable? Do you control your tongue and behaviors? Would someone call you brutal? Take a look at the descriptors used to describe you by others. If any of them resemble these, you may need to have a “come to Jesus” meeting with yourself. We want others to only see Jesus in us. Amen?

I am so guilty, O God, of putting myself ahead of others. Forgive me for being so selfish. I repent of that today.

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WE ALL HAVE A MASTER

2 TIMOTHY 2:26

“and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, having been held captive by him to do his will.”

Boy, oh boy! This verse says it pretty plain. If you aren’t serving Jesus, you are serving the devil. Jesus is your Master and Lord, or the devil is. I love the way Paul phrases this verse, though – “and they may come to the senses and escape from the snare of the devil.” Let’s look at that a little.

The Greek word for “they may come to their senses” only occurs here. It literally means to sober up, to regain their senses. It’s as if Paul is saying they were intoxicated with self before, but now are free to think clearly. And to get out of a snare requires help. Who do you think that was? Jesus is the snare breaker.

APPLICATION

This will be fun. Let’s tie your kids up! What? Just keep reading. I bet your kids will love it. Get some rope or cloth and tie their feet and hands so they can’t move around and then leave the room for five minutes or so. If they get upset, of course, shorten that. Tell them you have a very unique Bible lesson today. When you return ask them if they tried to get free. Most will but some may just sit there.

As you are untying them, explain to them that the devil ties us up and uses us to do his will. He doesn’t want us free to serve Jesus. He doesn’t want us to even know we are tied up. But his snare is a good one and we can’t get out by ourselves. That’s where Jesus comes in. He in the only one who can free us through the power of His shed blood. This is a lesson they won’t soon forget

(Please know I am NOT advocating tying children or any form of abuse. Only use this if you KNOW your child can handle this for a few minutes and only do this with children who don’t have issues with self-harm.)

Are you in a snare today? Have you fallen prey to one of the devil’s traps? It’s easy to do. If you are a believer, however, his snares cannot hold you. You have the power of the Holy Spirit coursing through you. Just ask the Lord to free you, and He will. You must come to your senses, though. Repentance is necessary. Do it now, if you need to.

I praise You, Father, that You truly have provided a way of escape for me. I am not Houdini. This is not an illusion. These snares of the devil are real, but they hold no power over me as I trust You.

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GENTLENESS

2 TIMOTHY 2:25

“with gentleness correcting those who are in opposition, if perhaps God may grant them repentance leading to the knowledge of the truth,”

When I think of gentleness I think of someone who understands their strength and how to use it correctly. It is not weakness. The Greek word here, prautes, means strength with reserve. This only comes through the Lord. He sends His Holy Spirit into our lives to give us this ability to show gentleness even to those who are opposing us.

Now, wait a minute. It’s one thing to be gentle to those we love. How can you do that to people who are opposing you, who are hostile to you? Well, the beauty of it is, you don’t have to. Jesus will live through you to accomplish that gentle response. He will guard your tongue. He will… Get the picture?

APPLICATION

Okay, Mom and Dad, here’s the hard part. YOU have to live out this gentleness with your children. “But Carl, you don’t know my kid.” That’s true, but God does. There is nothing your child can say or do which can remove your authority and obvious power. But far too many parents think they have to show that power. No! Gentleness is the answer.

So, what do I mean by that. I mean when you are having to deal with an out of control child, Jesus can and will give you the gentleness you need. Soothing words rather screams. Soft touches rather than harsh grabs. I know, I know! You are still saying, “Not with my kid.” Well, don’t believe me. Believe God. His Word is true.

Are you a gentle person? Do you exude gentleness to those around you? Jesus had the power of God (He was and is God) in His fingertips. He could have destroyed His enemies with the breath of His mouth. He chose gentleness. Imitate Him. Let Jesus be your gentle spirit.

O God, thank You for giving me a gentle spirit when I need it most. Let me be a reflection of You to others.

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