Category Archives: Family

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FOLLOW THE RULES

1 TIMOTHY 1:8

“But we know that the Law is good, if one uses it lawfully,” 

We have rules for a reason. Rules help us keep order. Rules guide us correctly. Rules can teach us the right way to do something. Rules can keep us honest. So, why do so many people break them? For some, their motto is “Rules are made to be broken.”

Paul addresses the idea of rules in today’s verse. The word “lawfully” is only used twice in the New Testament – here and in 2 Timothy 2:5. Paul had been a rule follower. Remember, he was a Pharisee, a law-abider and a law enforcer. He knew the law couldn’t save you, but it could guide you. The law pointed out sin which can lead to repentance.

APPLICATION

I don’t know many children who like rules. I used to tell my staff in the Children’s homes to have as few rules as possible in their cottages. Fewer rules made it easier for the kids to remember them. That applies to our own homes as well. Rules without relationships just don’t work.

That’s why we have to help our children understand the “why” behind the rule, not just the “what” of the rule. Get them to help make the house rules. Make sure the house rules agree with Scripture. Let them hold you accountable for the rules. If you break a house rule, they should be able to point that out to you without fear of reprisal. We ALL need to be held accountable.

But aren’t you glad that the Lord is less concerned about rules than He is about relationships? You see, we should obey the Lord’s commands because we love Him, not out of fear of being punished. Obedience out of love will always be easier than obedience out of fear. Remember, the Lord gives us rules for a reason. He wants to keep us safe and teach us to be more like Him – the Law Giver.

I am thankful for Your Law, O Lord. Let me follow obediently without becoming legalistic. I want to show others the joy of obeying You willingly. 

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ALL WE NEED IS LOVE

1 TIMOTHY 1:5

“But the goal of our instruction is love from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith.” 

The line from the Beatle’s song just jumped off the page to me when I read this verse. Now, before you excommunicate me for doing that (lol), let me try to explain. I am NOT implying that the Beatles got the inspiration for their song from this verse. Paul is reminding Timothy, that in the midst of all his instructing, don’t forget love.

Have you ever had a teacher you just loved? I bet you loved them because you felt they loved teaching, right? They loved seeing students “get it.” They loved passing on the knowledge they had gained. And Paul gives some qualifiers – pure heart, good conscience and sincere faith. In other words, you can’t fake this kind of teaching. It all comes down to love.

APPLICATION

Why do you teach your children? Because you love them. You want them to be prepared to face life head on with confidence. If you lied to them as you taught them, what good would that do? You teach them with a pure heart, don’t you? Your conscience is clear as you give them the house rules. And, of course, your faith must be pure for you to pass it on.

Children will be crushed if they find out later that all you have taught them is false. They will struggle with life questions if your teaching has all been based lies. That’s why it is important (spoiler alert) that you be truthful about things such as Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny. If they find out (and they will) these things weren’t real, you can actually put doubt in their minds about all you have taught them about Jesus, whom they also cannot see.

How do you teach? Let me encourage you to evaluate your motivation for teaching anyone. It should never be to JUST pass on knowledge. Knowledge in itself will never transform. The purpose of knowledge and the application of it has the potential to change everything. Will you be that kind of teacher?

Father God, You are the perfect teacher. All You give is pure, good and sincere. Teach me to teach just like You.

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YOU ARE THE AUTHORITY

1 TIMOTHY 1:3

“As I urged you upon my departure for Macedonia, remain on at Ephesus so that you may instruct certain men not to teach strange doctrines,” 

In the over three decades I spent working in the Child Welfare field, one constant was teaching the direct care staff (the ones who lived with and supervised the children) that no matter what a child said or did, they were still the authority. Only I, their supervisor, could change that. But so many of them got into power struggles with the children and unknowingly relinquished their authority.

Paul is warning Timothy here. He tells him to “instruct certain men not to teach strange doctrine.” But that word “instruct” does not give us the full picture. The word means to give a command with all the authority that comes with that command. In other words, Paul was telling Timothy to take charge and command these individuals to stop teaching that stuff.

APPLICATION

One of the joys of parenting is teaching our children to take charge of something. There are no natural born leaders. Leaders are developed and molded by others in their lives. We have the privilege as parents to mold our children into leaders. We get to impact, not only their lives, but the countless number of people they will influence one day.

Developing leaders is challenging because it involves allowing them to make mistakes. We learn from our mistakes. Your children will learn from their mistakes. The key is for you to be there to help them when they do. Help them see where they failed and how to avoid that the next time. Little Johnny may not appreciate it now, but he will later when he faces the exact same challenge and knows how to respond.

By whose authority do you act? Are you an authority figure? Just about everyone I know is in some aspect of life. You may not be the CEO of a company or a plant supervisor. But you may be a Sunday School teacher or an AWANA leader. Take your authority seriously. Allow the Lord to use you to lead others.

Make me into the kind of leader you want me to be. Give me the boldness to confront those who are leading wrongly. Let me show them how You want them to lead.

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LOVE YOUR ENEMIES

2 THESSALONIANS 3:15

“Yet do not regard him as an enemy but admonish him as a brother.”

I am sure you were reminded of Jesus’ admonition to us to love our enemies when you read this verse. It’s the first thing that popped into my head. In the previous verse Paul is telling the Thessalonians to disassociate with a brother who refuses to obey and follow. But here Paul is clarifying that verse. He wants to make sure they know they are to continue to love them. They just need to confront and hold him accountable.

We tend to just “write people off” when they have angered us. Remember, Paul is talking about brothers in Christ, not the unsaved. I have heard it said too many times that the church is the only army that shoots its own wounded. How sad! We need to lovingly chastise those in sin but never treat them as an enemy to us or the Gospel.

APPLICATION

I hate to tell you, but your children are probably going to have some enemies. It’s really sad to think about that, but it will happen. As a parent, you need to make sure your children understand they are to love everyone as Christ does. But if someone chooses to make your child their enemy, they are to continue to love and pray for them.

And they are to especially love and pray for those who are of the faith. You have to model this so openly for your kids. They should never hear us badmouthing another believer. They should never hear us talking badly about a Pastor. We may not agree with everyone (as if that was even possible), but we should treat everyone as if Jesus was right there with us. Oh wait, He is.

Have you treated a fellow believer poorly? Have you broken off fellowship to make a point? You do not have the right to act that way. Jesus has paid the price for you and whomever you are at odds with. His death covered every sin on both sides of the argument. Will you today allow Him to love even the most unloving person in your life? He can and He will through you.

Father, You have promised to love through me. I know I can’t love those who hate me, but You can. Help me surrender to Your will and love as only You can love.

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SHAME ON YOU

2 THESSALONIANS 3:14

“If anyone does not obey our instruction in this letter, take special note of that person and do not associate with him, so that he will be put to shame.” 

Have you ever been shamed? Unfortunately, I have. I have done things in my past that I am not proud of. In some cases, those things were made public, causing shame. It’s embarrassing. It’s humiliating. But that shame can drive you back to the cross. It can serve as conviction through the Holy Spirit. 

Now, hear me out. I am not advocating a new ministry of shame. Quite the contrary. I would propose that we diligently seek to lift others out of shame. The devil wants us to feel unworthy. He wants us to wallow in shame. But the Lord uses shame to convict us of sinful behavior, just like Paul is saying to the Thessalonians in today’s verse.

APPLICATION

It is NOT your job as a parent to shame your child. That’s the Holy Spirit’s job. Your job is to raise your child in a godly, spirit-filled environment so they can come to Christ at an early age. You don’t draw them to Christ. The Holy Spirit does that. 

And once they surrender to Him, they will possess the “shaming” power of the Holy Spirit. But what is great about that is He doesn’t do it to tear you down. He only convicts to make you more like Jesus. Jesus was sinless. We should strive to live sin free, holy lives, which are only possible in Him.

How’s your shame? Do you have unconfessed sin in your heart right now? Confess it! Make it right with the Lord today. He wants to use us to share His good news to the world. When we are walking in shame, we are not available.  Will you let Him take away that shame and reproach? All you have to do is ask Him.

Lord, living shame-free is so much better than living in guilt. Remind me daily to surrender these things to HIM. As you surrender completely, He can do more and more through and in you.

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TIRED OF BEING GOOD

2 THESSALONIANS 3:13

“But as for you, brethren, do not grow weary of doing good.”

If you know me personally, you know I spent over 30 years of my 40+ years of ministry serving in the Child Welfare environment. I served in various capacities at several Children’s Homes. So many of the children I worked with would start learning how to handle their own behavior and make progress in school and home. But most of them would reach a point when they would regress to previous bad behavior. When asked why, they would say, “I am just tired of being good.”

That may sound like a cop out, but until they learned the truth of the Gospel, they were doomed to repeat this roller coaster of good behavior and bad behavior. Once they learned they didn’t have to be good and to allow Christ to live through them, they began to stabilize their behavior. They weren’t always good, but they recognized it was all about surrender.

APPLICATION

Don’t teach your children to be good. Yes, you read that right. Don’t teach them to behave. Teach them, instead, to trust the only Good One. When our children learn to depend solely on Christ, behaviors will improve. When they learn to follow Christ’s example of selfless living, they will put others first. 

You can’t teach goodness. You have to live it out. You have to experience life. Your children will have ample opportunities to “be good.” But nothing they can do will ever make them good. Only Christ can do that.

Are you pointing others to Jesus by your “goodness”? Are you allowing Christ to live in and through you? Apart from Him you have absolutely no goodness in you. You might be morally good. You might treat others nicely. But there is no goodness in you. We are simply sinners, saved by grace. Let His goodness lead you to do good works.

O Lord, I am so grateful that I don’t have to do good works to achieve my “goodness.” I recognize that no amount of deeds on my part will achieve that. Only You can make me “good” in Your sight.

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BUSYBODIES

2 THESSALONIANS 3:11

“For we hear that some among you are leading an undisciplined life, doing no work at all, but acting like busybodies.” 

A busy body sounds good, doesn’t it? After all, we want to stay busy and not be idle. But that is NOT what this word means. The Greek word for “busybody” is only used here in this verse. It means to work all-around or to meddle. This person goes where they don’t belong. They fixate on what others are doing, instead of doing what they are supposed to be doing.

In other words, Paul is rebuking these people. He is basically saying, “You need to get busy and mind your own business.” Have you ever been guilty of that? Have you ever had someone in your life like that? I think we can all relate in one way or the other. 

APPLICATION

Your little Johnny may come home from school saying, “You won’t believe what Jimmy did today.” Then he proceeds to go into this long story about Jimmy. You are quite amazed at all the details he knows. When you inquire how he knows all this, he tells you how all the other kids are talking.

What a perfect opportunity to use this verse. Children need to know how to avoid this trap. It is so easy to get caught in it. People like to talk, especially about others. But being a busybody can be so much fun. We think we are even helping sometimes. But this is never good. It is never Christlike. It is never building up the other person, which is what we should be trying to do.

Are you guilty of this? Do you find yourself pulled into these kinds of conversations? Stop it! Paulis very clear. We are to have no part of this. Are you willing to listen and obey a clear command? I pray you are. Instead of being a busybody, just get busy for Jesus.

Forgive me, Father, for being a busybody at times. Forgive me for thinking I know best. Help me direct my energy and focus on others who truly do need my help.

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BUT I’M HUNGRY


2 THESSALONIANS 3:10

“For even when we were with you, we used to give you this order: if anyone is not willing to work, then he is not to eat, either.” 

Have you ever been hungry? I mean, really hungry? I can’t say I have ever been starved for food. I have had an occasional hunger pain, but I have never known real hunger. I believe, though, that if I did, I would do anything I could to get some food. Not the people in this verse. They wanted to be “taken care of.” Paul did not like that and let them know it.

I am not telling you that you shouldn’t help someone in need. But it is clear from this verse that you shouldn’t enable someone who could work but had rather beg. You probably see it all the time. It seems less and less people really want to work. They want someone else to work and then ask them for help. Don’t help them be dependent. Do all you can to assist them in finding a way to provide for themselves.

APPLICATION

This is an easy one for parents. Don’t give your child everything they want. Let them earn it. I don’t believe in allowance for children, unless they are earning that money by helping with the household chores. As part of the family, they have an obligation to help. 

Now, you can’t withhold food. That would be child abuse. But you can withhold other things they desire. Remember, you are not raising children. You are raising child raisers. You are giving them instructions that will be passed down to your grandchildren. You are influencing the coming generations in the way you teach your children now.

Do you have a strong work ethic? Boy, my dad sure taught me to work. There was no choice. I got a job as soon as I could. I bought my first car with money I earned mowing grass. I am thankful my parents taught me that lesson. Are you teaching that? If not, start now.

Father, I know that everything I have is because of You, not my sweat. But I am thankful that You have given me the strength to work and earn. Help me pass on that privilege to others.

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BE A MODEL


2 THESSALONIANS 3:9

“not because we do not have the right to this, but in order to offer ourselves as a model for you, so that you would follow our example.” 

Before you start freaking out about my title today, let me explain. I am NOT telling you to be a fashion model or a swimsuit model. You may want to do that, but that is not what I am referring to in today’s verse. Paul is telling the Thessalonians that he and his companions were examples or models of Christ. He wanted them to only see Jesus in them.

I was told recently by someone that they could tell just by watching me that I was a nice person. They observed this in me not through conversation or interaction. They came to that conclusion by the way I was behaving and interacting with others. I was quite humbled and was very glad I had behaved myself, lol. But our goal should always be to model Christ, so that others would be drawn to Him, not us.

APPLICATION

Well, here we are again. The best way for us to teach our children this truth is to MODEL it ourselves. We have to live it for them to see it. We have to look like Jesus. I don’t mean to grow out your hair and wear a robe. I mean to treat others as Christ would. I mean to parent your child as Christ would. I mean to live and act like Jesus. Be a model of Christ to them.

As we do that our children learn to model Him too. They have to have an example to follow. What better example than Jesus? If your children can learn this truth at an early age, they will avoid a lot of heartaches because of the way they interact with others. Modeling Jesus isn’t easy, but it is the best way to live your life. 

“But Carl, I have blown it so many times.” That’s okay. Start fresh. Begin today to change your appearance. Be a model of Him for others to follow. Make sure when others point out your “specialness” that you point it right back to Him. It is only through Him that you can begin to look and act like Him. 

I want to look like Jesus, Father. I want others to see Him in me. Help me today to share the gospel and, if necessary, to use words.

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DON’T BE A BURDEN


2 THESSALONIANS 3:8

“nor did we eat anyone’s bread without paying for it, but with labor and hardship we kept working night and day so that we would not be a burden to any of you;” 

The only three times this word for “burden” is used in the New Testament, they are used by Paul. Once in 2 Corinthians 2:5, once in 1 Thessalonians 2:9 and then here in this verse. Paul did not in any way want to be a burden to those to whom he was shepherding. Whether it was what he was saying or doing, he wanted to spare them the obligation to care for him.

Unfortunately, too many believers today dump all their “stuff” on others. They guilt others into caring for them. I had an experience once when someone approached me to ask for money because they were “down on their luck right now.” When I told them I couldn’t help, they accused me of not being a Christian. Guilt!

APPLICATION

Teach your children to not be a burden. Teach them to carry their own weight. There is nothing wrong with asking for help. There is nothing wrong with receiving help. But we should never guilt someone into helping us. We should never cause someone else to feel obligated to take care of us. 

Your little Johnny or Susie may be one of those children who just oozes with mercy. Every time they see a person on the side of the road with one of those homemade signs asking for a handout, they beg you to give them some money. What a perfect teaching lesson. You must do what the Lord directs you to do but use that opportunity to teach this truth. Showing mercy is Christlike, but being an enabler is not.

If you have ever put your guilt on someone else to get them to give you something or care for you, repent. Then go and make that right. We need to follow Paul’s example of accepting a gift but not expecting or demanding it. Then the gift is truly a blessing rather than an entitlement.

Father, I thank You for friends and family who have come alongside me in the past. Help me pay it forward. But Lord, help me to be careful not to pass on any expectations to receive.

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