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A WOMAN’S PLACE

1 TIMOTHY 5:14

Therefore, I want younger widows to get married, bear children, keep house, and give the enemy no occasion for reproach;” 

I just couldn’t resist titling today’s devotion as I did. Now that I have done that, let me quickly explain, lol. I do not mean a woman’s place is in the kitchen or that her value is only attributable to child bearing or being married. Goodness no! If I actually believed that I wouldn’t last very long in my family, lol. We have to concentrate on the last phrase.

A woman’s place, just like every believer, is to be above reproach, to not bring any shame on our Savior, to be surrendered to Him. This is NOT the same word that was used back 1 Timothy 3:2 or 5:7. This word is only used in one other verse, where it is used twice (1 Peter 3:9). It means a scathing insult or slander. Paul is saying that these younger widows should live so that no one could bring an insult against them.

APPLICATION

In the same way, our children need to be taught to live that way. If we have nothing to hide, our lives will be above reproach. We won’t worry about people finding out our little secrets which could bring insult on us and our Lord. So, how do we teach our children to live that way? Simple! You have to live like that before them.

We must live with no secrets, no lies, no hidden lifestyles. Our children need to be able to trust our character. One of the scariest things your child can say to you is, “I want to grow up and be just like you.” Right? That puts all the pressure on you, or does it? No! Jesus is the one who lives through you. If you surrender daily, your children can grow up to be just like Him.

So, how are your living? Are you free of reproach due to the protection of our Lord? You can be. Just surrender today. Let Jesus be Jesus in you. Then if people try to slander you, and they will, remember it is not you they are slandering. It’s Jesus.

Give me strength, Lord, to live a life that mirrors You. I want the world to see You and not me. Thank You for living in and through me.

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CHRIST FIRST

1 TIMOTHY 5:11

But refuse to put younger widows on the list, for when they feel sensual desires in disregard of Christ, they want to get married,” 

I have to admit that I had to consult some commentators on this verse. At first glance in the English, this paints the younger widows in a bad way. Fortunately, the Greek meaning of the phrase “feel sensual desires in disregard of” was not originally meant to portray such a negative opinion. The Greek word for that phrase is only used here in the New Testament.

The purpose of “the list” of widows was for the church to minister to them and for the widows, in return, minister to each other and serve the Body. Paul is merely saying that younger widows will have the natural desires to remarry which will limit their ability to serve. He is not condemning these young widows. He is, in fact, releasing them from the obligation to serve.

APPLICATION

How in the world do you apply this verse to your children? Easy! Put Christ first! Putting Christ first is costly. Putting Christ first means letting other things go. Putting Christ first means not doing some things and pursuing other things. Now, tell me that doesn’t apply to your kids.

When we teach our children to pursue Christ first, they will have to make some tough choices. They will be given ample opportunities to pursue everything but Christ. They will have to choose which master to follow. If we invest the time to teach them the honor and privilege of putting Christ first, they will reap the benefits of that close, personal relationship that comes with that. Don’t you want that for your son or daughter?

Are you putting Christ first? Or are you pursuing the world, with all its distractions. You cannot put family or work or even ministry first and expect to have that intimate relationship with Christ. Whatever is causing you to put Christ anywhere but in first place in your life must be examined closely and put in its proper position in your life.

Lord Jesus, I want You to be first in my life. I want You to come before anything. I want You to be second to nothing.

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WORTHY OF HONOR

1 TIMOTHY 5:10

having a reputation for good works; and if she has brought up children, if she has shown hospitality to strangers, if she has washed the saints’ feet, if she has assisted those in distress, and if she has devoted herself to every good work.” 

Just look at the list of this widow’s character traits making her worthy of honor by the church. She has a good reputation. She is a child raiser. She is hospitable, service oriented, full of mercy and devoted. Wow! That’s some woman!

But shouldn’t we all be like that? I mean, look at the list again. Which one of those traits don’t belong in your life? The bottom line is she puts others before herself. Therein lies the rub. We don’t want to do that. We want to see ourselves first. We want to meet our needs first. It’s always me, me, me!

APPLICATION

Well, this is a no brainer. As parents, we are constantly teaching our little Gertrudes and Elords how to not be selfish. We teach children to share because they are naturally selfish. We teach them to watch out for their little brother or sister because they are not concerned with that. 

But once again, this is better caught than taught. We must model these behaviors. When they see us showing mercy to someone, they learn from that. When they observe us serving someone else, they watch how it’s done. We are living out the traits they need to embrace. So, be very careful what you do and say. Little eyes and ears are watching and listening.

How are you in regard to these traits? Are you hospitable? Do you show mercy or wrath? We may not be a widow who needs to be put on the church list, but we still need to live out these same godly traits. And what is amazing is that when we do these things, we are the ones who are blessed. Be a blessing!

I do enjoy blessing others, Lord. Help me see their need even before it is apparent. Let me be Your hands and feet to them.

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SIGN THEM UP

1 TIMOTHY 5:9

“A widow is to be put on the list only if she is not less than sixty years old, having been the wife of one man,” 

I’m a list maker. I didn’t used to be. After my bout with chemo several years ago I lost some of my short-term memory skills. So, now I have to make lists or poof – that thought vanishes. You are probably asking yourself, “Carl, what does your short-term memory loss have to do with today’s verse?” I’m glad you asked.

Widows and widowers are quickly forgotten. When their spouse dies, we all run to their home to console and love on them. However, after a few weeks, we forget about them. We get back into our routine and forget their routine has been forever altered. 

APPLICATION

Why don’t you get your family to “adopt” a widow or widower? Of course, you may have one in your own family to care for, but if you don’t, I am sure your church has a list of them who need someone to come alongside them. What a great way to teach your little Susie how to love others.

It’s the little things that are needed by them. Things a widow’s husband would have done around the house go undone. Even little things like changing that light bulb in the ceiling light are huge for them. For the widower, it might be missing those homecooked meals by his wife. Let your children help you as you minister to one of these on the list.

Who do you know right now who could use that kind of TLC? Give them a call and tell them you want to take them out to dinner this weekend. Drop by with your tool box and ask if they need anything done around the house. Ask them first. They will probably welcome the visit.

Father, forgive me when I overlook those who have such simple needs. I want You to use me to help them with these daily tasks. I know they are precious in Your sight.

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RESPONSIBILITIES

1 TIMOTHY 5:8

“But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”

In Book Two of the Every Man A Warrior disciplemaking study, Lonnie Berger says this, “After becoming a Christian, marriage is the most life changing event in your life. When you marry, you give up your life in order to live it for someone else. You work for the other person. You begin to think about permanence, buying a house, saving for the future and providing for your children. You come to a whole new level of maturity.”

The phrase “does not provide” in today’s verse would lead you to think Paul is merely talking about food and shelter. No! The word actually has more to do with what Lonnie said. It’s about respecting your family. It’s about thinking about them first. It’s about acting according to God’s will on behalf of your family. That’s showing responsibility.

APPLICATION

Fathers, teach your sons to be men. Now, I am not taking ANYTHING away from the strength and power of women. We men would be doomed without them. But God intended for men to care for their families. The father is expected to provide for his family. Our society has downgraded that responsibility to the point that some men ignore that.

A real man loves his family. A real man comes home at night to his wife and children. A real man thinks about his family BEFORE he makes his plans. A real man consults his wife BEFORE he makes a purchase that can affect the household budget. A real man follows God.

Do you get the picture? Today’s blog is more directed toward the men, but ladies, you too have a responsibility to put your family before yourself. For most of you that is not a problem. But if it is, stop and correct that. And teach your children the same.

O God, thank You for my family. Thank You for convicting me when I become selfish in my time and energy. I want to please You as I care for my family.

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UNAPPREHENDABLE

1 TIMOTHY 5:7

“Prescribe these things as well, so that they may be above reproach.”

I’m not sure “unapprehendable” is a word, but it is now, lol. I use that to describe “above reproach” for a reason. The Greek word means someone is trying to accuse someone else of something of which there is no evidence of their guilt. It’s a baseless charge. Therefore, they cannot be apprehended.

This Greek word is only used in 1 Timothy (3:2, 5:7 and 6:14) by Paul. I wonder why. Why did the Holy Spirit tell Paul to use that word only in this letter to Timothy? It’s a great word and could have been applied to a lot of Paul’s letters. It doesn’t matter why – only that it is used here.

APPLICATION

Oh, what an important thing to teach your little Gertrude and Elrod. They need to live in such a way that they are above reproach and unapprehendable. They should live surrendered to Jesus so completely that no accusation hurled against them can stick. They are guiltless before man. 

If we live that way, we don’t have to keep watching over our shoulders hoping no one finds out about us. We have nothing to hide. Our lives are an open book, so to speak. The devil loves to dig up our dirt and throw it back on us. But if we live like Paul is saying here, there is no dirt to be used against us. 

Are you unapprehendable? Or are you constantly trying to keep stuff hidden from others? How tiring! We can literally wear ourselves out hiding stuff. One lie leads to another lie. Don’t you get tired of that? Praise be to God! He sets us free from that. He knows our dirt and still forgives us. Won’t you live in that freedom today? Allow Him to walk with you wherever you go. He will NEVER lead you to a place that you are ashamed. 

Blameless! That’s the way I want live, Lord. Lead me in Your ways every day, so that I have nothing to hide.

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HOW TO HONOR

1 TIMOTHY 5:3

“Honor widows who are widows indeed;” 

Do you know any widows? I am blessed to know a lot of widows. In fact, my widowed mother-in-law lives with my wife and I. I also know a group of widows at the church I serve. They call the group “Women of Grace.” They truly are that. So, when I read this verse, I asked myself if I am honoring them, as God’s Word commands.

First of all, this word “honor” is a command. We are commanded to do this. Secondly, this word means to “assign value (give honor), as it reflects the personal esteem (value, preciousness) attached to it by the beholder.” You will only honor what you value. 

APPLICATION

What or whom do your children honor? What do they place value in? If your child does not honor their elders, they must not place much value on them. But why should we teach them to do this? Well, perhaps because one day that might be you (the widow or widower). Do you want them to value you? Of course, you do.

But also, we teach them this because it is the right thing to do. Widows and widowers have lost their husband or wife and have that gap in the life. As fellow believers we are commanded to come alongside them and make them feel valued and honored for who they are. That is EXACTLY what Christ would do. In fact, He did just that. Even on the cross, He honored His mother by telling John to take care of her.

Is there a widow or widower in your life to whom you need to honor more? Today make an extra effort to do just that. Take them out for a meal. Give them a call. Drop by to say hello and pray with them. Somehow today let them know just how valued they are by you and by their heavenly Father. I promise you will be the one who is blessed by doing this.

Father, show me the widows to whom You want me to honor today. Feel their lives with joy, hope and blessings. Help me to see them as You do.

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RESPECT YOUR ELDERS

1 TIMOTHY 5:1

“Do not sharply rebuke an older man, but rather appeal to him as a father, to the younger men as brothers,” 

We have ANOTHER one-time used word in today’s verse. The phrase “sharply rebuke” is the Greek word epipléssó, which means to hit or strike in a vunerable place, to speak harshly or rebuke. You get the picture. Paul is telling Timothy that he needs to be careful how he talks to his elders. After all, he was already having trouble because of his youth. He needed to make sure he was respecting those older than him, even if they needed to be corrected.

In America there seems to be less and less respect for the elderly. You hear all the time about senior adults being abused or attacked. In days past that would have been seen as just horrible. But now it hardly makes the news. God’s Word hasn’t changed. So, today’s verse is just as applicable as it was when Paul wrote it.

APPLICATION

Wow! Here’s a no brainer! Our children must be taught to respect their elders. Unless that person is an abuser of some sorts, they should be treated with respect and honor. As parents, we have the responsibility to teach our children this. I have witnessed firsthand too many children who are allowed to disrespect adults. Don’t let your little Johnny do that. It will not help him later in life.

Why is it important for children to learn this early? Because respect for elders will help them also respect their bosses, their spouses and even themselves. Respect is something that has to be taught and lived out. They must be held accountable when they don’t show it. Anything less only leads to poor choices.

Do you respect your elders? Do you treat them with courtesy and honor? It’s hard sometimes, especially when they turn on you and make your life difficult. Regardless, we are commanded to treat them as He would. Today, show an elder in your life the respect they deserve. God will be honored.

Forgive me, Lord, for not showing proper respect for my elders at times. Remind me daily to honor them as You do. Help me come alongside them to aid them in their walk with Christ.

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SAVE YOURSELF

1 TIMOTHY 4:16

Pay close attention to yourself and to your teaching; persevere in these things, for as you do this you will ensure salvation both for yourself and for those who hear you.”

I know what you are thinking.  “Save yourself? What are you saying, Carl?” Before you call the heresy police, let me explain. Paul is instructing Timothy to be careful to continue to teach true doctrine and follow it himself. By doing this he will show to others that he is a true follower of Christ and a faithful minister of the Gospel. His first concern should be his personal spiritual growth and then secondly, the salvation and growth of others.

There was a problem already arising in the early church of false teachers and preachers. They saw an opportunity to deceive others by preying on their desire to know God. So, these false teachers would teach false doctrines pointed at benefitting themselves. Paul was warning Timothy about appearing as one of them.

APPLICATION

We, as parents, should similarly instruct our children to have as their first priority to grow spiritually. Through Bible Study, prayer, worship and fellowship with other believers, they can continue their growth as a disciple of Christ. And then they will be prepared to reach out to the lost around them. But you can’t fully disciple others until you are grounded yourself.

I have seen far too many new converts get sidetracked trying to go back into the world to reach their lost friends. The lures of their past are strong. It is so easy to get sucked back into them. So, we need to help strengthen their resolve before unleashing them to pursue others. I am not saying they shouldn’t witness to others. I am saying they should be prepared to do so.

This does not give you an excuse to keep your faith to yourself. We are commanded to go witness to the world. But the Lord wants us to guard ourselves against the wiles of the devil. He knows our weaknesses and will throw everything he can at us to distract us or bring us down. Prepare yourself and be faithful to share.

Thank You, Lord, for saving my soul. Thank You, Lord, for making me whole. Thank You, Lord, for giving to me life more abundant.

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PONDERING

1 TIMOTHY 4:15

Take pains with these things; be absorbed in them, so that your progress will be evident to all.” 

Now, that’s a word you don’t use every day – pondering! That’s another translation for the verb “take pains.” The word means to be diligent about something. It’s only used one other time in the NT (Acts 4:25) when Peter and John quote Psalm 2:1-2. In that instance it is a negative use, but here in 1 Timothy it’s a good thing. Ponder, be diligent about using your spiritual gift.

If someone gave you an incredible gift, would you squirrel it away and never show anyone? If you learned how to cure cancer for everyone, would you keep that to yourself? Of course not! And your spiritual gift is greater than both of those things. Your spiritual gift being exercised could lead someone to a decision to accept Christ, thus altering their eternity!

APPLICATION

The best way to teach your children this verse is by living it yourself. If you have the gift of service, serve! And take your children along with you when you do so they know why you are doing what you are doing. If you have the gift of discernment, make sure your kids know when you use that gift and how. When they see you using your gifts to glorify God and build up the Body, they will be inspired to do the same.

There are many gifts. There are many lists of gifts in the New Testament. Let me encourage you to help your child learn which gift God has given them. It may not be the same gift as yours, which will require you to learn more about how they need to use their gift. None of us have arrived. We are all still progressing towards perfection in and through Christ.

How will you use your spiritual gift today? It isn’t just for Sundays. It isn’t just for your church. Use it wherever and whenever the Lord leads you. By being obedient in that and pondering on it, you will please the Father.

I am so grateful for the gifts you have given to us, Father. You give these gifts to be used and managed well. Help me use my gifts today to honor Your name.

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