Category Archives: Child Rearing

Affection, Bible, Child Raising, Child Rearing, Disciplemaking, Elders, Encouragement, Following, Godliness, Inspirational, Mentoring, Modeling, Obedience, Parenting, Qualifications, Righteousness, Scripture, Testimony

EXPECTATIONS

TITUS 1:8

“but hospitable, loving what is good, sensible, just, devout, self-controlled,”

What do you expect from your leaders? Well, Paul continues to lay out the Lord’s expectations for Elders. These leaders are so important to the healthy function of the body of Christ. By living up to these expectations they are showing others that these are possible through Christ. Let’s look at these quickly.

“Hospitable” literally means to love strangers. “Loving what is good” is really a lover of what God loves. “Sensible” can be translated as self-control. “Just” is approved by God. “Devout” means beloved by God. And finally, “self-controlled” has the meaning of being mastered from within.

APPLICATION

Why did I go through all those words? Because you need to know them, and your children need to know them. You need to know that they are all possible through Christ. The Lord will never put an expectation on you or your children that He cannot empower you to do. He can give you the ability to love strangers. He can give your children the ability to love what God loves.

Do you believe that? Or do you think these qualifications only apply to Elders? NO!!!! They apply to us all. All believers need to live this way. So, what keeps us from doing that? That’s simple. Our flesh, our self gets in the way. And the only way to get rid of that is to die to it daily and surrender your all to Him. When you do that, your kids see that.

Are you willing to live this way? Can you embrace these qualities knowing He can live these through you? Decide today to do this. If you allow Him to control you, He will use you in ways you cannot imagine. And as He uses you, your children will see that and hopefully begin to emulate these qualities they see in you.

I want to be just like You, Lord. All these qualities are You. I will surrender my will to You today.

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KEEP AN EYE ON YOU

TITUS 1:7

“For the overseer must be above reproach as God’s steward, not self-willed, not quick-tempered, not addicted to wine, not pugnacious, not fond of sordid gain,”

The position of overseer or elder has often been misinterpreted as a position of authority or title. The Greek word for “overseer” actually means someone who intently keeps their eye on something or someone. In the church that man is watching over the church body to provide first-hand care and protection. It’s a service role more than an authority role.

Now, elders must help guide the body. But they do this from a position of service, not by brow beating. That is exactly why Paul lays out all these qualifications. In this verse he gives six more character traits (good steward, not self-willed, not quick tempered, not addicted to wine, not pugnacious, not fond of sordid gain). He has further limited the pool of men who rise to the position, this ensuring their heart for service, not rule.

 APPLICATION

It is interesting that these traits Paul lists for an elder are traits we as parents want for our children. We want them to handle what God gives them well. Money management is an important skill for us to teach them. Secondly, we want them to think more of others than themselves. Self-willed children will face many more challenges. Thirdly, we definitely want them to know how to control their temper, to not be easily upset or angry.

We also want our children to know how to handle the issue of drinking. If you think they won’t face that temptation, you are fooling yourself. You have to model that. The next trait, not pugnacious, means not a fighter. Some kids are always ready for a fight. We want to teach them how to avoid that. And finally, we want them to not be greedy. In fact, we want them to share liberally.

So, you see these elder traits are really traits for us all. How are you living up to these? These are all characteristics of someone surrendered to Christ. It requires dying to self daily. Then you too can help oversee the flock. You can keep your eye on your brother or sister to help guide and protect. Aren’t we all called to do that in the family of God?

Father, remind me to live my life in such a way that I am worthy of “overseeing” my brother and sister. I want to live like Jesus so I can help guide others in the path of righteousness.

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THE RIGHT MAN

TITUS 1:6

“namely, if any man is above reproach, the husband of one wife, having children who believe, not accused of dissipation or rebellion.”

Paul begins a list of qualifications for elders in today’s verse that goes through verse 9. This list is long and intimidating. When I read it, I wonder who can fulfill it. Who can possibly meet all these expectations? Only the man who is one hundred percent surrendered to the Lordship of Christ.

Paul describes an elder, the men he wants Titus to find and appoint in Crete, as above reproach or blameless, He must not have more than one wife. He has to be old enough for his children to have accepted Christ. He can withstand accusations that he is unsalvageable or insubordinate. Wow! That bar is high.

APPLLICATION

Children play a key role in their father’s selection as elder. Why would their children’s salvation be a determining factor? Because it implies that he has spent the time to invest in their lives and lead them to Christ. It implies that family is a priority. They say your family should be your first mission.

This is why, mom and dad, I spend so much time telling you to read Scripture to your kids. Scripture is what draws them to salvation. It prepares their heart to hear from the Lord. That means you must be a student of the Word. You must be comfortable sharing and applying it. This is an eternal decision. Don’t take it lightly.How do you line up with the list given today? You may never be asked to serve as an Elder. But I believe we all need to strive for the highest standards. We all serve a mighty God. If you don’t meet the criteria, ask the Lord to change your heart. He can use you. Won’t you let him?

O precious Lord, I know I am not worthy, but You want to use me. I am Your vessel. I surrender to You.

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LEFT BEHIND

TITUS 1:5


“For this reason I left you in Crete, that you would set in order what remains and appoint elders in every city as I directed you,” 

We have all heard stories about parents mistakenly leaving their children. Of course, one of the classic Christmas movies is “Home Alone” in which Kevin McAlister is left behind when his family leaves for vacation. It’s humorous on the screen. It’s not so funny in real life.

This is NOT what Paul is talking about. He left Titus in Crete for two reasons – to set things in order and to appoint elders. Paul had seen Titus’ worthiness during their travels together. He knew he could be trusted to carry out these duties. Crete was not an easy place to minister. Cretans were known to be pretty crude and hard to deal with. But Paul knew Titus could handle it.

APPLICATION

I pray you never leave your child behind accidentally. But I do pray that you can have enough confidence in them to do it intentionally. “Boy Carl, that’s confusing.” Let me explain. We want our children to become independent. We want them to show responsibility. What better way than to let them be tested for short periods of time, all the while under your guidance.

We have way too many “helicopter” parents. These are parents who literally hover over their children and do everything for them. That will never prepare your child for living on their own. Think of some tasks you can give your child to let them learn to be depended upon. They may fail, but they will fail safely.

Are you trustworthy to be left behind? Could Paul have left you behind to accomplish his instructions? We are not all leaders. That’s okay. But we all have our roles to play in carrying out God’s plan. Are you doing what the Lord has asked you to do? If not, start today.

I am thankful You see me as worthy of Your trust. I will do my best to accomplish Your will for me. I consider it an honor to serve You.

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Child Raising, Child Rearing, Disciplemaking, Eternity, Evangelism, Family, Inspirational, Obedience, Parenting, Scripture, Surrender, Witnessing

MY CHILD

TITUS 1:4

“To Titus, my true child in a common faith: Grace and peace from God the Father and Christ Jesus our Savior.”

Titus was special to Paul. Why? It’s because of that phrase in today’s verse – “my true child in a common faith.” Paul had “birthed” him into the kingdom of God. He was a direct convert of Paul’s ministry. Unlike Timothy, who Paul found already a believer, Titus had surrendered to Christ because of Paul.

There is something special about those relationships. I know those whom I have led to Christ and prayed with to receive Christ as their Savior always hold a special place in my heart. The spiritual connection of two people as they approach the throne of grace is life changing. If you have never experienced that, you need to.

APPLICATION

Perhaps the greatest thrill for parents is leading their children to receive Christ. It’s interesting that the Greek word for “true” is today’s verse means legitimate birth. It’s one thing to have your own legitimately born children. But to have those same children to be reborn as children of God is so much more exciting.

I bet you have a video of your child’s birth. Get it out and show them. Talk about how thrilled you were when they came. Talk about how you had planned for their arrival. You had prepared a room. You had picked out a name. You couldn’t wait to meet them. But then turn the conversation to salvation. In the same way, the Lord has done all those things. This is a perfect time to share the Gospel with them or, if they are already a believer, to affirm their decision.

With whom have you shared lately? Don’t keep this truth to yourself. You need a Titus in your life. You need to lead others to Jesus. You are missing out on the joy of the Christ-life when you don’t take the opportunities to come alongside someone in their search for truth and lead them into salvation. Pray for someone to cross your path today with whom you see come to Christ.

Forgive me, Lord, for squandering the opportunities to witness to others. I want “true children of the faith” in my life. Lead me to others who are searching.

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I’VE GOT FAITH IN YOU

TITUS 1:3

“but at the proper time manifested, even His word, in the proclamation with which I was entrusted according to the commandment of God our Savior,”

You can’t tell from the English translation, but “was entrusted” is the Greek word from which we get the word “faith.” It’s the verb form. It’s also a passive verb which means someone else has the faith in or has entrusted Paul with this proclamation. Who is that?

The same God who entrusts us with the Gospel entrusted Paul with the Gospel. He gave Paul a specific task – to preach His message to the Gentiles. Paul spent his whole ministry doing that. He was unashamedly bold in his approach. He risked it all because the Lord had faith in him.

APPLICATION

I pray you let your children know how much you believe in them. They need to hear you say that, not just think it. You may not have a task as big as Paul’s to give to your children, but they need to know that mom and dad believe in them. How do you do that? There are a number of ways, but here are a few.

  1. Give them small tasks to complete
  2. Encourage them to try out for that part in the play they want
  3. Be at their performances
  4. Let them hear as you tell others how proud you are of them.

You can determine the growth or the downfall of your child’s spiritual by the way you show your faith in them. How are you doing with that? I want you to think of at least one way today you can portray your faith in your child. They may not be in a good place right now. That’s not important. Let them know. Entrust them. Show faith in them. See what happens.

Lord, You have faith in me and I am thankful. Help me do the same for others. As underserving I am of Your faith in me, I will serve You.

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I CANNOT LIE

TITUS 1:2

“in the hope of eternal life, which God, who cannot lie, promised long ages ago,”

We have probably all heard the story about George Washington (the first President of the United States) as a boy when he was asked who cut down the cherry tree. He said, “I cannot lie. I did it.” We don’t know if that was legend or truth, but he was known as an honest man, not prone to lie. In today’s verse we see that character trait attributed to God, who also cannot lie.

Now, unlike George Washington, God is truly not capable of lying. There is no deceit in Him. He is pure truth. It is interesting to me that the Greek word used here for “cannot lie” is only used right here in this verse. Only God cannot lie. Everyone else is capable, including you and me.

APPLICATION

How many times have you told your child, when correcting them, “Now, don’t lie to me”? We want them to tell the truth. I know when my children were small, I could deal with almost any behavior, but just don’t lie to me. That made things worse. So, how do you get your children to be truthful? Bathe them in the Word. Only the truth of God can transform them into truth tellers rather than liars.

Your job as mom and dad is to obey the Holy Spirit’s leading in your life to provide the environment for salvation and spiritual growth. That includes you being truthful. Have you ever involved your child in a lie? What message does that send your child? If it’s okay for mom or dad, it’s okay for me. And then you punish them for lying to you. Confusing! You must model and live a truthful life for them to follow.

Are you known as a truthful person or a liar? When you give your word, can you be believed? If you are a believer, you represent our heavenly Father who cannot lie. Remember that. It’s not just about your reputation. If the lost world cannot trust Christians to tell the truth, why should they believe anything we say about the Gospel?

Forgive me, Father, for not being truthful at times. I tend to rationalize and justify my lies, but they are just sin. Help me remember it is You who lives within me, who cannot lie.

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KNOW YOUR PURPOSE

TITUS 1:1

“Paul, a bond-servant of God and an apostle of Jesus Christ, for the faith of those chosen of God and the knowledge of the truth which is according to godliness,”

Several years ago, Pastor Rick Warren wrote a book entitled “The Purpose Driven Life.” It was a number one best seller and launched him on to talk shows all over the United States. Why? Because people want to know their purpose in life. They want to know why they are here. They want to know what they should be doing.

Paul knew! He was a bond-servant of God (a slave of his own choosing). He was an apostle of Jesus Christ (one sent with a message). He purpose was to grow the faith of those chosen by God (reach and teach them). And he was to preach the truth.

Paul knew his purpose and makes sure Titus knows this in his first words of the letter to him.

APPLICATION

Man, oh man! If we can help our children discover their purpose early in life what a difference that would make. I am not saying they should know their career path at five. I am talking about knowing who they are and why they are here. That can only be taught through God’s Word through His worldview. When your child comes to Christ, He will reveal through His Holy Spirit what they are to do with their life to glorify Him. What they do for a living isn’t important.

But so many of we parents are so focused on our children becoming doctors or lawyers (nothing wrong with that, just examples). Instead we need to focus on bringing them up with a vision for God. That can only be taught if we have it. Do you?

What exactly is your worldview? Do you see everything through God colored glasses? As believers, we should see ourselves, our family and others as God sees us. We were all created in His image with one purpose – to glorify Him. We exist to give Him glory. Those whose follow His calling on their lives (and He calls us all but only a few answer) will discover their purpose. Have you?

Father, I am so thankful my purpose is clear. I will glorify You today. I will give glory to You for all You do in and through me.

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AS I LEAVE

2 TIMOTHY 4:22

“The Lord be with your spirit. Grace be with you.”

Paul’s final written words (as far we know) to Timothy are contained in this verse. Paul prayed the Lord would be with his spirt and His grace would also be with him. Nothing fancy. No flowing words. Just Jesus and grace. But think about. What else could he want for Timothy?

If you knew the words you were about to say to someone were the last words they would ever hear from you, what would you say? That, of course, would depend on whom you were addressing, right? If it was my wife, I would say something different than if I was addressing my neighbor or doctor or even my children. It’s the audience that can determine those words.

APPLICATION

Last words matter. You have probably taught your children about making a good first impression. But how about that last impression? You don’t want your child leaving someone with them thinking poorly of them, do you. So, what do you tell your child to do when they leave someone?

I often pray with someone before I leave them. That would be great to model for your children. Praying for someone, just as Paul did for Timothy, sends a message to them. It says they are special to you because they are to God. It says you care for them because Jesus died for them. And it’s really hard to walk away mad if you just prayed for someone, lol.

Today, focus not only on your greetings but also your goodbyes. Make sure your parting words are comforting and not confrontational. Ask someone if you can pray as you leave. You may just blow their mind. And pray sincerely and quickly. You don’t have to make it a sermon. You certainly don’t want them to avoid your parting prayer next time.

O Father, parting is hard sometime. Help me leave those I love and care for by leaving the grace and presence of Jesus with them. May they receive it and embrace it.

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WHO?

2 TIMOTHY 4:21

“Make every effort to come before winter. Eubulus greets you, also Pudens and Linus and Claudia and all the brethren.”

In this next to last verse of 2 Timothy, Paul mentions four individuals who we know nothing about. You might just read this verse and move right on. Who cares about Eubulus, Pudens, Linus and Claudia? Paul did. And he thought enough about them to mention them to Timothy who also must have known them by name. Otherwise they would not have been mentioned.

Some people are name droppers. They like to mention they know or have met “so and so.” Usually that person they mention is well known or famous. It would be like me saying when he was alive, “Yesterday Billy and I were just talking.” Of course, I am referring to Billy Graham. Listen, everyone is important. Treat them that way.

APPLICATION

I want you to make a list of all the friends that your children have. Sit down with them and do that. Then make up a scale of one to five and have them score them according to how much they like them. One will be the least liked and five will be their BFF. This may take a while so be patient.

When they get done tell them to tear it up. They may argue a bit but insist. Now, read the verse to them. Explain that these four individuals fell somewhere on that one to five scale, but they probably weren’t fives because in all of Paul’s letters they aren’t mentioned anywhere else. But here, in Paul’s very last letter, they are the last people he mentioned. Friends are friends. They are all important.

How many friends do you have? I have over two thousand on Facebook. Some I have met through other friends. Some are mere acquaintances. Do you know why I made them my friends on Facebook? So I can expose them to the Gospel and encourage them. Will you make the effort today to reach out to one of your “lesser” friends and encourage them? God placed them in your life for a reason. Don’t forget that.

I am grateful for each friend You have allowed to cross my path. Help me encourage them today through Your Word. Let me be the friend they need today.

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