Category Archives: Fatherhood

Bible, Child Raising, Child Rearing, Christianity, Direction, Disciplemaking, Encouragement, Eternity, Evangelism, Family, Fatherhood, Forgiveness, Friends, Grace, Mercy, Modeling, Motherhood, Obedience, Parenting, Patience, Surrender

AN EXAMPLE

1 TIMOTHY 1:16

“Yet for this reason I found mercy, so that in me as the foremost, Jesus Christ might demonstrate His perfect patience as an example for those who would believe in Him for eternal life.” 

Could the Lord use you as an example? Paul was used that way. The Lord saved him from certain destruction and set him up as an example of His mercy and grace. God showed Paul patience as only God could do. 

Paul saw God’s actions as purposeful, not just for himself, but for others, as well. Paul’s salvation and life in Christ were an example God was using to draw others to Himself. Can God do that with you? Is your life one that the Lord can hold up to show others what He can do in someone who is surrendered to Him? 

APPLICATION

Sometimes we parents will tell one of our children, “Why can’t you be more like your sister (or brother)?” We compare their behaviors. That is NOT what I am talking about here. We should never compare our children. God has created each of them unique. They each have their strengths and weaknesses. Instead, we should always point them to Christ. Let Him be their example.

You also have to be an example to them. Your life should be a reflection of Christ to them, so they can see what a true believer looks like. That doesn’t mean you have to be perfect. No one is. But we are the ones the Lord has entrusted with this little life. He gave them to us to give back to Him. Do all you can to ensure you are doing that.

Okay, so how are you doing? If a total stranger met you for the first time, would they know within a few minutes that you are a child of the King? Better yet, do your close friends and family see Christ lived out in your life every day? Can the Lord say you are an example of His perfect patience?

Thank You, Father, for extending Your grace to me. I am grateful for Your perfect patience in my life. Without it I would be doomed for eternity.

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I’M NUMBER ONE

1 TIMOTHY 1:15

“It is a trustworthy statement, deserving full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, among whom I am foremost of all.”  

Paul called himself the number one sinner. Why would anyone do that? That is not a title I want. But he was making a point. Jesus died for all sinners, even the worst sinner of all. Paul, obviously, was reflecting on his past actions before he came to Christ. He was a persecutor of the early church. He sanctioned murder of Christians. He was there when the first martyr, Stephen, fell. He was, in fact, eager to bring them all to justice.

So, how does this relate to us? We are just as bad. We may not have killed anyone or persecuted anyone, but our sins are just as wicked. Our sins, left unforgiven, will lead us directly to hell. There are no little sins. Sin is sin – period. We all vie for the title of number one sinner.

APPLICATION

If you are like most parents, you don’t want to see your little Johnny or Susie as a sinner. Sure, they misbehave at times, but to think they will spend eternity separated from a holy God breaks your heart. It is hard to accept. But it is the truth. Unless your little angel turns to Christ and surrenders their will to His, they will not see the glory of heaven.

Our number one job as parents is to do all we can to introduce them to Jesus. We must prepare the spiritual environment in our homes to allow them to know Him and accept Him. We can’t make them choose Christ, but we must do everything within our power to prepare the way. How are you doing with that?

And this responsibility doesn’t just apply to our household. We are commanded by God to share His good news to everyone. Are you sharing that? Will you share that today? Ask the Lord to send people into your life today with whom you can share the greatest story ever told. You won’t regret it. It will be the best part of your day.

O God, Savior of my soul, thank You for redeeming me. Thank You for not turning Your back on me when I came seeking You. I, like Paul, am the foremost of sinners.

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THANK GOD FOR MERCY

1 TIMOTHY 1:13

“even though I was formerly a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent aggressor. Yet I was shown mercy because I acted ignorantly in unbelief;” 

There are so many great words in this verse. Most of them point towards Paul’s former life before he met Christ on the Damascus road. Just like us, he acted ignorantly in unbelief. He thought he was doing right. He thought he was acting on God’s behalf. We do the same. We go through life as if we are just fine with God – UNTIL we meet Him on our own Damascus road.

But the key word today is “mercy.” Paul was shown mercy. Mercy is NOT getting what we do deserve. It’s God showing compassion and pity on us because of our covenant relationship with Him. Because of the shed blood of Christ, He extends mercy to us when we deserve hell. Because of Christ’s sacrifice, we are forgiven. 

APPLICATION

There are times when you need to show mercy to your children. One more “crack down” on them will do them in. Our job is help mold their spirit, not break it. Sooner or later, your little Gertrude or Elrod is going to need some mercy. The question is can you give it.

Many parents think showing any kind of mercy is a sign of weakness. Nothing could be further from the truth. You are the authority. You have the power to enforce whatever rule and consequence you choose. Choosing to show mercy is a sign of control and strength to your child. They need to understand, though, what you are doing. They need to understand that you are choosing to show them mercy, just like our holy God has chosen to show us mercy.

Perhaps you are one of those parents who refuse to show mercy. May I warn you of something? Those who show no mercy will be shown no mercy. Don’t go running to God for mercy when you cannot show it yourself. When you choose to show mercy, you can appreciate it even more when you receive it yourself. And when you do, marvel at the relationship you have in Christ.

Mercy! I cry mercy, Lord. Forgive me! Show me mercy in my repentance. And help me show mercy to others today.

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SERVING

1 TIMOTHY 1:12

“I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has strengthened me, because He considered me faithful, putting me into service,” 

What does it mean to serve someone? I never worked as a waiter or server in a restaurant. There just weren’t many places to eat in my hometown. But my son, Christopher, worked for a number of years in a couple of places. He was good at it. He made sure his customers were served well. Their dining experience was his priority.

The word “service” in this verse is the word we get “deacon” from. Deacons are servants. They serve the body of Christ. They were never meant to be the ones who governed the church. So many churches have that wrong. A true deacon has a servant’s heart. They serve at the pleasure of our Lord and serve for one purpose – to help the church proclaim the Gospel.

APPLICATION

Your children can learn to serve, as well. Service is a good thing. Serving others teaches humility. Serving others for Christ is fulfilling. Serving others allows them to put others above self. And look at how the Lord sees it in today’s verse. He considers us faithful to serve. It’s all about faith.

So, how can your children serve? How about helping clean rooms at church? No church has enough help cleaning. How about helping in the nursery (if they are old enough)? No church has enough nursery workers. How about helping serve snacks at Vacation Bible School? There are numerous ways in which your children can serve the Body of Christ. And teaching them this early will set them on the right path of service as they grow up.

Whom are you serving? Don’t look on service as a chore. Look on it as a privilege. You have the opportunity to show your love for Jesus by serving other believers. The Lord wants you to learn the joy of serving. Will you?

I am thankful I can serve others. Help me see it as You do, Lord. I want to be obedient to You as You lead me to serve.

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CONTRARY

1 TIMOTHY 1:10

“and immoral men and homosexuals and kidnappers and liars and perjurers, and whatever else is contrary to sound teaching,” 

I am not going to get into the lifestyles of those who are mentioned in today’s verse. I do not think that is necessary. I want to pick out one word in the verse, though. Look at that word “contrary.” Have you ever known someone who was contrary? Do you even know what that means? It means someone who is against everything. They will argue with a fence post.

These kinds of people cannot be convinced with the truth because they do not believe it applies to them. Or they think they have the real truth. Paul has just listed in the past two verses those who fit into this category. They are opponents or enemies to sound teaching.

APPLICATION

Okay, then, how does this apply to our children? Easy, keep teaching them the truth. Point them constantly to God’s Word. Give them sound teaching. Only by doing this can they recognize the untruths. Only by consistently exposing them to truth will they be able to establish that baseline of truth and untruth. 

The world is going to throw enough untruths at your children. Satan does not want them to follow Jesus. He will hurl all sorts of lies at them to try to get them to believe them. You are that buffer when they are growing up. You shield them with the Gospel. You guard them with THE truth. And don’t stop just because they get saved. You have to continue to disciple and mentor them to spiritual maturity. You have a lifetime job!

But how about your spiritual maturity? Have you drunk the Kool-Aid of social tolerance? I don’t mean you can’t accept others and love them. I mean you can’t condone ungodly behavior, many of which are named in verses 9 and 10 of 1 Timothy 1. You have to decide if you are going to be contrary to sound teaching yourself.

Father, guard my heart against the lies of the devil. Reveal to me quickly anything that is contrary to your teachings. I want to live and speak truth.

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LAWBREAKERS

1 TIMOTHY 1:9

“realizing the fact that law is not made for a righteous person, but for those who are lawless and rebellious, for the ungodly and sinners, for the unholy and profane, for those who kill their fathers or mothers, for murderers” 

I have noticed something about people who don’t like rules. They are usually the ones who break them. People who don’t like the law are normally lawbreakers. People who hate law enforcement officers are the ones who are repeatedly arrested for breaking the law. Hmm, there seems to be a pattern here.

That is exactly what Paul is saying here. The law isn’t an issue for the righteous. If we are living righteously, we have no problem with the law. If we are living righteously, we follow a higher law. But if we are lawless and rebellious, we constantly struggle against the law because it reminds us and convicts us of sin.

APPLICATION

Try an experiment in your house. Abolish all rules for a week. Anything goes. No chores have to be done. No bedtimes. No rules about what and when you eat your meals. See what happens. It won’t take long for your children to start following rules that no longer exist. It sounds like freedom to have no rules, but it actually is much more confusing and tiring.

After this experiment (if you dare), ask your children what they liked or disliked about it. Take notes. You will want to refer back to them a few weeks when they begin to complain about the rules again, lol.  And take the opportunity to explain that rules (law) are not meant to punish us. Rules are meant to guide us. Encourage your little Gertrude to obey because of her desire to please God, not you.

Which “laws” are you breaking? Are you fearful of being caught? Hiding your lawbreaking can be exhausting. Why don’t you confess that as sin today and allow the Lord to give you a fresh start? Learn to embrace the law (rules) as it was intended. God only wants us to obey Him out of love.

Lord, forgive me for complaining about Your law. I know You give it to guide me. Let me see it as You intended.

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ALL WE NEED IS LOVE

1 TIMOTHY 1:5

“But the goal of our instruction is love from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith.” 

The line from the Beatle’s song just jumped off the page to me when I read this verse. Now, before you excommunicate me for doing that (lol), let me try to explain. I am NOT implying that the Beatles got the inspiration for their song from this verse. Paul is reminding Timothy, that in the midst of all his instructing, don’t forget love.

Have you ever had a teacher you just loved? I bet you loved them because you felt they loved teaching, right? They loved seeing students “get it.” They loved passing on the knowledge they had gained. And Paul gives some qualifiers – pure heart, good conscience and sincere faith. In other words, you can’t fake this kind of teaching. It all comes down to love.

APPLICATION

Why do you teach your children? Because you love them. You want them to be prepared to face life head on with confidence. If you lied to them as you taught them, what good would that do? You teach them with a pure heart, don’t you? Your conscience is clear as you give them the house rules. And, of course, your faith must be pure for you to pass it on.

Children will be crushed if they find out later that all you have taught them is false. They will struggle with life questions if your teaching has all been based lies. That’s why it is important (spoiler alert) that you be truthful about things such as Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny. If they find out (and they will) these things weren’t real, you can actually put doubt in their minds about all you have taught them about Jesus, whom they also cannot see.

How do you teach? Let me encourage you to evaluate your motivation for teaching anyone. It should never be to JUST pass on knowledge. Knowledge in itself will never transform. The purpose of knowledge and the application of it has the potential to change everything. Will you be that kind of teacher?

Father God, You are the perfect teacher. All You give is pure, good and sincere. Teach me to teach just like You.

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SHAME ON YOU

2 THESSALONIANS 3:14

“If anyone does not obey our instruction in this letter, take special note of that person and do not associate with him, so that he will be put to shame.” 

Have you ever been shamed? Unfortunately, I have. I have done things in my past that I am not proud of. In some cases, those things were made public, causing shame. It’s embarrassing. It’s humiliating. But that shame can drive you back to the cross. It can serve as conviction through the Holy Spirit. 

Now, hear me out. I am not advocating a new ministry of shame. Quite the contrary. I would propose that we diligently seek to lift others out of shame. The devil wants us to feel unworthy. He wants us to wallow in shame. But the Lord uses shame to convict us of sinful behavior, just like Paul is saying to the Thessalonians in today’s verse.

APPLICATION

It is NOT your job as a parent to shame your child. That’s the Holy Spirit’s job. Your job is to raise your child in a godly, spirit-filled environment so they can come to Christ at an early age. You don’t draw them to Christ. The Holy Spirit does that. 

And once they surrender to Him, they will possess the “shaming” power of the Holy Spirit. But what is great about that is He doesn’t do it to tear you down. He only convicts to make you more like Jesus. Jesus was sinless. We should strive to live sin free, holy lives, which are only possible in Him.

How’s your shame? Do you have unconfessed sin in your heart right now? Confess it! Make it right with the Lord today. He wants to use us to share His good news to the world. When we are walking in shame, we are not available.  Will you let Him take away that shame and reproach? All you have to do is ask Him.

Lord, living shame-free is so much better than living in guilt. Remind me daily to surrender these things to HIM. As you surrender completely, He can do more and more through and in you.

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TIRED OF BEING GOOD

2 THESSALONIANS 3:13

“But as for you, brethren, do not grow weary of doing good.”

If you know me personally, you know I spent over 30 years of my 40+ years of ministry serving in the Child Welfare environment. I served in various capacities at several Children’s Homes. So many of the children I worked with would start learning how to handle their own behavior and make progress in school and home. But most of them would reach a point when they would regress to previous bad behavior. When asked why, they would say, “I am just tired of being good.”

That may sound like a cop out, but until they learned the truth of the Gospel, they were doomed to repeat this roller coaster of good behavior and bad behavior. Once they learned they didn’t have to be good and to allow Christ to live through them, they began to stabilize their behavior. They weren’t always good, but they recognized it was all about surrender.

APPLICATION

Don’t teach your children to be good. Yes, you read that right. Don’t teach them to behave. Teach them, instead, to trust the only Good One. When our children learn to depend solely on Christ, behaviors will improve. When they learn to follow Christ’s example of selfless living, they will put others first. 

You can’t teach goodness. You have to live it out. You have to experience life. Your children will have ample opportunities to “be good.” But nothing they can do will ever make them good. Only Christ can do that.

Are you pointing others to Jesus by your “goodness”? Are you allowing Christ to live in and through you? Apart from Him you have absolutely no goodness in you. You might be morally good. You might treat others nicely. But there is no goodness in you. We are simply sinners, saved by grace. Let His goodness lead you to do good works.

O Lord, I am so grateful that I don’t have to do good works to achieve my “goodness.” I recognize that no amount of deeds on my part will achieve that. Only You can make me “good” in Your sight.

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BUSYBODIES

2 THESSALONIANS 3:11

“For we hear that some among you are leading an undisciplined life, doing no work at all, but acting like busybodies.” 

A busy body sounds good, doesn’t it? After all, we want to stay busy and not be idle. But that is NOT what this word means. The Greek word for “busybody” is only used here in this verse. It means to work all-around or to meddle. This person goes where they don’t belong. They fixate on what others are doing, instead of doing what they are supposed to be doing.

In other words, Paul is rebuking these people. He is basically saying, “You need to get busy and mind your own business.” Have you ever been guilty of that? Have you ever had someone in your life like that? I think we can all relate in one way or the other. 

APPLICATION

Your little Johnny may come home from school saying, “You won’t believe what Jimmy did today.” Then he proceeds to go into this long story about Jimmy. You are quite amazed at all the details he knows. When you inquire how he knows all this, he tells you how all the other kids are talking.

What a perfect opportunity to use this verse. Children need to know how to avoid this trap. It is so easy to get caught in it. People like to talk, especially about others. But being a busybody can be so much fun. We think we are even helping sometimes. But this is never good. It is never Christlike. It is never building up the other person, which is what we should be trying to do.

Are you guilty of this? Do you find yourself pulled into these kinds of conversations? Stop it! Paulis very clear. We are to have no part of this. Are you willing to listen and obey a clear command? I pray you are. Instead of being a busybody, just get busy for Jesus.

Forgive me, Father, for being a busybody at times. Forgive me for thinking I know best. Help me direct my energy and focus on others who truly do need my help.

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