Category Archives: Family

Child Raising, Child Rearing, Family, Friends, Heaven, Love, Ministry, Parenting

SAD FAREWELLS, SWEET REUNIONS

2 TIMOTHY 1:4 

“longing to see you, even as I recall your tears, so that I may be filled with joy.”  

Paul loved Timothy. Timothy loved Paul. If there was any doubt to that just look at today’s verse. At their last parting, Paul recalls Timothy’s tears when he left. They had spent many years together ministering and sharing the Gospel of Christ. I am sure they shared countless meals and walked hundreds of miles together. All those memories! 

So, now Paul is hoping to see Timothy again. We don’t know if he did or not. This letter and Paul’s letter to Titus are probably the last two letters Paul wrote before being martyred for Christ. True brothers in Christ, however, will never be separated by death. They live together forever in eternity. 

APPLICATION 

This may sound strange, but we need to teach our children how to say goodbye and hello properly. Yeah, I know. You are saying, “Carl, all parents do that. We teach them to blow kisses and wave.” That’s not what I am talking about. I am talking about understanding separation and reunion. 

The next time you travel to visit family, talk about how happy you are going to be to see them when you get there. Ask your children what’s the first thing they are going to do when they see Grandma or Grandpa. I bet they say, “Ask for candy.” Lol, maybe not. But I bet the answer involves hugs and kisses. Then ask them why. Because they love them, right. And when they leave, hugs and kisses are involved again.  

You see, the bond of family, blood or spiritual, involves tears, hugs, kisses and love. Whom do you want to see as much as Paul wanted to see Timothy? Why? Are they bound to you for eternity? Will you see them there? If not, why not invite them into your permanent family with Christ? 

Father, I want to invite all my loved ones to join me one day in heaven. Help me love them enough to make sure they are going. Loving them here is just not enough. 

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Advice, Bible, Bosses, Child Raising, Child Rearing, Commands, Family, Fatherhood, Friends, Mentoring, Ministry, Modeling, Motherhood, Obedience, Parenting, Scripture

DON’T TAKE ADVANTAGE

1 TIMOTHY 6:2

“Those who have believers as their masters must not be disrespectful to them because they are brethren, but must serve them all the more, because those who partake of the benefit are believers and beloved. Teach and preach these principles.”

This verse can be a little confusing. Let me try to break it down for you very simply. Paul is telling us that we should not disrespect our bosses by taking advantage of the fact they are believers. For instance, we shouldn’t use our common faith as an excuse to get special privileges. We shouldn’t show any less respect for them since we are “equals” in the eyes of the Lord.

You’ve seen people do that, I’m sure. I’ve even had people try to do that to me. It’s hard to keep that line between Christian brother and boss, especially if you are serving in full-time ministry. But God designed these roles for a reason. Being buddies with your boss may sound great, but it can lead to problems when he/she has to correct you.

APPLICATION

This is no more applicable than in our relationships with our children. We want to be close to our kids. We want them to consider us their friend and confidant. But we should never be their buddy. When we blur the lines between parent and friend, we open ourselves up to disrespect and misunderstandings. 

I’ve seen it too many times. Parents tell me they are best friends with their child. Your best friend should be our spouse, not your son or daughter. God designed the family to have roles. As parent, you are the authority over your child. Then you become an advocate and guide as they get older. But you are never designed to be their best friend. You can be a better friend by being a better parent.

You may disagree with me on this one. But the fact remains the same. We have God’s Word to guide us in all our relationships. So, don’t treat your boss like a buddy. That is disrespect. And don’t rely on your child for friendship. We are actually more than friends. We are family. That never ends.

I want to thank You, Lord, for allowing me to have close relationships with my parents. I also thank You for the friendships I have had in the workplace. Help me keep those relationships where they should be so we can follow Your guidelines.

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Affection, Bible, Child Raising, Child Rearing, Commands, Disciplemaking, Encouragement, Family, Friends, Love, Mentoring, Modeling, Obedience, Parenting, Prejudice

NO BIAS

1 TIMOTHY 5:21

“I solemnly charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus and of His chosen angels, to maintain these principleswithout bias, doing nothing in a spirit of partiality.” 

Here we go again. Another one-time used word. Paul seems to like doing that in 1 Timothy. Today it’s the Greek word for “bias.” It literally means prejudging, to show prejudice. But we have to look at the context.

Paul is talking about Elders in these verses. We must hold even our Elders accountable for their actions and not show any partiality towards those we like better or have close relationships with. That’s hard. That’s why Paul gives us instructions. He wants us to be faithful and loyal to the Lord and not men.

APPLICATION

I bet, if your children are old enough, they have some bff’s. Right? My daughter had a lot of them. We all just hit it off with some people. There’s nothing wrong with that. We need bff’s. But what do you do when one of those bff’s does something that you know is wrong? Teach your children to do the right thing. They can’t overlook it just because they are friends.

Friends confront each other. Why? Because friends should make each other better. We don’t prejudice ourselves by pointing out the faults in other people and ignoring them in our friends. We need to teach our children to treat everyone the same. That’s what Jesus would do.

Are you guilty of showing favoritism? Do you prejudge others. Today let the Lord show you a different way. Let Him show you how to love and accept others whom you normally would not. And hold those closest to you accountable. Don’t let them slide down a slippery slope just because you are scared to confront them.

Father, it is hard to confront sometimes. It’s hard not to show favoritism to those we love. Lord, give me the wisdom and discernment to do what You expect.

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Affection, Bible, Child Raising, Child Rearing, Commands, Confession, Direction, Disciplemaking, Encouragement, Faith, Family, Mentoring, Modeling, Obedience, Parenting, Trust

IN FRONT OF ALL

1 TIMOTHY 5:20

“Those who continue in sin, rebuke in the presence of all, so that the rest also will be fearful of sinning.” 

As believers, we have the responsibility to confront our brothers and sisters who continue in sin. Just look at the verse. Not only are we to rebuke them, but we are to do it in the “presence of all.” That word for “presence” literally means “in the eye of God.” Isn’t everything? 

Do we do this to embarrass them? No! It’s so their rebuke will deter others from doing the same, continuing in sin. Now, we all sin. We will until we see Jesus. We can’t avoid sin. But…we should never continue in it. A simple rebuke from a brother could alter the decision to sin. We so confront them in front of all. It’s out of love. 

APPLICATION

How in the world do you teach this to your children? Very carefully. It’s not our job to correct everyone. It is our responsibility to hold other believers accountable. We model this to our kids by helping our fellow believers make things right. When your little Johnny or Susie see one of their friends doing something they shouldn’t, teach them to go to them and point them toward Jesus.

Now, they don’t do that arrogantly. They do that just as you would do it. Loving them to correction. Loving them to repentance. Loving them to confession. There may come a time when they will have to confront someone in “front of all.” Make sure they are ready.

Are you willing to love your brothers and sisters that much? Will you risk hurting their feelings to draw them to Christ? We are commanded to do it not only for them but for others. Help others be more like Him but being less of themselves.

Father, I don’t understand how to do this without You. I will trust You to give me the words to confront lovingly. And I will do it for all.                                

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Advice, Bible, Child Raising, Child Rearing, Comfort, Commands, Encouragement, Family, Love, Ministry, Modeling, Parenting, Service, Widows

BE OF ASSISTANCE

1 TIMOTHY 5:16

“If any woman who is a believer has dependent widows, she must assist them and the church must not be burdened, so that it may assist those who are widows indeed.”

I have an Administrative Assistant. She is awesome! She makes me look good in so many ways by all the “little” things she does for our Children’s Ministry. I put little in quotes because nothing she does is really little. Her job is to assist me and our other staff and volunteers fulfill the calling to serve our children and their families.

So many today think being an assistant is below them. But right here in this passage, Paul tells Timothy how important it is to lend assistance. That’s what an assistant does – lends assistance. In fact, this Greek word for “assist” only occurs right here in verse 16 (two times) and in verse 10 we saw earlier. It’s not our job to take care of the widows who have families. That’s their job. We, the church, need to be free to assist those who have no one.

APPLICATION

Can you think of a way your little Johnny or Susie could assist someone today? Depending on the age of your children, they could help clean a widow’s house for them. Perhaps they could mow or rake their yard. I promise you the widows you know have a long list of things that need to be done.

Ask your church for a name of a widow or widower who could use some assistance. If this person does not have family around, you and your children could become that for them. People need people. Sometimes the best assistance you can give them is just some time spent with them. We can all find fifteen to thirty minutes a week for that.

Whom is the Lord calling you to assist? Are you willing to do that? You will be blessed for more than they will. The Lord blesses those who serve others, especially if it is done with a pure heart. Assist that person without any expectations of gratitude. Just do it for Jesus.

It is so pleasing to assist others. Lord, show me those whom You would have me invest my time and energy in. I want to honor You by serving them.

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Advice, Bible, Child Raising, Child Rearing, Commands, Disciplemaking, Encouragement, Family, Mentoring, Modeling, Obedience, Parenting, Surrender, Widows, Women

A WOMAN’S PLACE

1 TIMOTHY 5:14

“Therefore, I want younger widows to get married, bear children, keep house, and give the enemy no occasion for reproach;” 

I just couldn’t resist titling today’s devotion as I did. Now that I have done that, let me quickly explain, lol. I do not mean a woman’s place is in the kitchen or that her value is only attributable to child bearing or being married. Goodness no! If I actually believed that I wouldn’t last very long in my family, lol. We have to concentrate on the last phrase.

A woman’s place, just like every believer, is to be above reproach, to not bring any shame on our Savior, to be surrendered to Him. This is NOT the same word that was used back 1 Timothy 3:2 or 5:7. This word is only used in one other verse, where it is used twice (1 Peter 3:9). It means a scathing insult or slander. Paul is saying that these younger widows should live so that no one could bring an insult against them.

APPLICATION

In the same way, our children need to be taught to live that way. If we have nothing to hide, our lives will be above reproach. We won’t worry about people finding out our little secrets which could bring insult on us and our Lord. So, how do we teach our children to live that way? Simple! You have to live like that before them.

We must live with no secrets, no lies, no hidden lifestyles. Our children need to be able to trust our character. One of the scariest things your child can say to you is, “I want to grow up and be just like you.” Right? That puts all the pressure on you, or does it? No! Jesus is the one who lives through you. If you surrender daily, your children can grow up to be just like Him.

So, how are your living? Are you free of reproach due to the protection of our Lord? You can be. Just surrender today. Let Jesus be Jesus in you. Then if people try to slander you, and they will, remember it is not you they are slandering. It’s Jesus.

Give me strength, Lord, to live a life that mirrors You. I want the world to see You and not me. Thank You for living in and through me.

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Affection, Bible, Busyness, Child Raising, Child Rearing, Direction, Disciplemaking, Encouragement, Family, God's Will, Love, Mentoring, Ministry, Modeling, Obedience, Parenting, Passion, Sanctification, Service, Widows

CHRIST FIRST

1 TIMOTHY 5:11

“But refuse to put younger widows on the list, for when they feel sensual desires in disregard of Christ, they want to get married,” 

I have to admit that I had to consult some commentators on this verse. At first glance in the English, this paints the younger widows in a bad way. Fortunately, the Greek meaning of the phrase “feel sensual desires in disregard of” was not originally meant to portray such a negative opinion. The Greek word for that phrase is only used here in the New Testament.

The purpose of “the list” of widows was for the church to minister to them and for the widows, in return, minister to each other and serve the Body. Paul is merely saying that younger widows will have the natural desires to remarry which will limit their ability to serve. He is not condemning these young widows. He is, in fact, releasing them from the obligation to serve.

APPLICATION

How in the world do you apply this verse to your children? Easy! Put Christ first! Putting Christ first is costly. Putting Christ first means letting other things go. Putting Christ first means not doing some things and pursuing other things. Now, tell me that doesn’t apply to your kids.

When we teach our children to pursue Christ first, they will have to make some tough choices. They will be given ample opportunities to pursue everything but Christ. They will have to choose which master to follow. If we invest the time to teach them the honor and privilege of putting Christ first, they will reap the benefits of that close, personal relationship that comes with that. Don’t you want that for your son or daughter?

Are you putting Christ first? Or are you pursuing the world, with all its distractions. You cannot put family or work or even ministry first and expect to have that intimate relationship with Christ. Whatever is causing you to put Christ anywhere but in first place in your life must be examined closely and put in its proper position in your life.

Lord Jesus, I want You to be first in my life. I want You to come before anything. I want You to be second to nothing.

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Affection, Bible, Caregiver, Child Raising, Child Rearing, Christianity, Commands, Disciplemaking, Encouragement, Faith, Family, Love, Mentoring, Mercy, Ministry, Modeling, Obedience, Qualifications, Service, Widows, Works

WORTHY OF HONOR

1 TIMOTHY 5:10

“having a reputation for good works; and if she has brought up children, if she has shown hospitality to strangers, if she has washed the saints’ feet, if she has assisted those in distress, and if she has devoted herself to every good work.” 

Just look at the list of this widow’s character traits making her worthy of honor by the church. She has a good reputation. She is a child raiser. She is hospitable, service oriented, full of mercy and devoted. Wow! That’s some woman!

But shouldn’t we all be like that? I mean, look at the list again. Which one of those traits don’t belong in your life? The bottom line is she puts others before herself. Therein lies the rub. We don’t want to do that. We want to see ourselves first. We want to meet our needs first. It’s always me, me, me!

APPLICATION

Well, this is a no brainer. As parents, we are constantly teaching our little Gertrudes and Elords how to not be selfish. We teach children to share because they are naturally selfish. We teach them to watch out for their little brother or sister because they are not concerned with that. 

But once again, this is better caught than taught. We must model these behaviors. When they see us showing mercy to someone, they learn from that. When they observe us serving someone else, they watch how it’s done. We are living out the traits they need to embrace. So, be very careful what you do and say. Little eyes and ears are watching and listening.

How are you in regard to these traits? Are you hospitable? Do you show mercy or wrath? We may not be a widow who needs to be put on the church list, but we still need to live out these same godly traits. And what is amazing is that when we do these things, we are the ones who are blessed. Be a blessing!

I do enjoy blessing others, Lord. Help me see their need even before it is apparent. Let me be Your hands and feet to them.

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Advice, Bible, Caregiver, Child Raising, Child Rearing, Comfort, Commands, Disciplemaking, Encouragement, Family, Love, Ministry, Modeling, Obedience, Parenting, Service, Widows

SIGN THEM UP

1 TIMOTHY 5:9

“A widow is to be put on the list only if she is not less than sixty years old, having been the wife of one man,” 

I’m a list maker. I didn’t used to be. After my bout with chemo several years ago I lost some of my short-term memory skills. So, now I have to make lists or poof – that thought vanishes. You are probably asking yourself, “Carl, what does your short-term memory loss have to do with today’s verse?” I’m glad you asked.

Widows and widowers are quickly forgotten. When their spouse dies, we all run to their home to console and love on them. However, after a few weeks, we forget about them. We get back into our routine and forget their routine has been forever altered. 

APPLICATION

Why don’t you get your family to “adopt” a widow or widower? Of course, you may have one in your own family to care for, but if you don’t, I am sure your church has a list of them who need someone to come alongside them. What a great way to teach your little Susie how to love others.

It’s the little things that are needed by them. Things a widow’s husband would have done around the house go undone. Even little things like changing that light bulb in the ceiling light are huge for them. For the widower, it might be missing those homecooked meals by his wife. Let your children help you as you minister to one of these on the list.

Who do you know right now who could use that kind of TLC? Give them a call and tell them you want to take them out to dinner this weekend. Drop by with your tool box and ask if they need anything done around the house. Ask them first. They will probably welcome the visit.

Father, forgive me when I overlook those who have such simple needs. I want You to use me to help them with these daily tasks. I know they are precious in Your sight.

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Advice, Affection, Bible, Child Raising, Child Rearing, Commands, Disciplemaking, Encouragement, Family, Fatherhood, God's Will, Love, Mentoring, Modeling, Motherhood, Obedience, Parenting, Women

RESPONSIBILITIES

1 TIMOTHY 5:8

“But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”

In Book Two of the Every Man A Warrior disciplemaking study, Lonnie Berger says this, “After becoming a Christian, marriage is the most life changing event in your life. When you marry, you give up your life in order to live it for someone else. You work for the other person. You begin to think about permanence, buying a house, saving for the future and providing for your children. You come to a whole new level of maturity.”

The phrase “does not provide” in today’s verse would lead you to think Paul is merely talking about food and shelter. No! The word actually has more to do with what Lonnie said. It’s about respecting your family. It’s about thinking about them first. It’s about acting according to God’s will on behalf of your family. That’s showing responsibility.

APPLICATION

Fathers, teach your sons to be men. Now, I am not taking ANYTHING away from the strength and power of women. We men would be doomed without them. But God intended for men to care for their families. The father is expected to provide for his family. Our society has downgraded that responsibility to the point that some men ignore that.

A real man loves his family. A real man comes home at night to his wife and children. A real man thinks about his family BEFORE he makes his plans. A real man consults his wife BEFORE he makes a purchase that can affect the household budget. A real man follows God.

Do you get the picture? Today’s blog is more directed toward the men, but ladies, you too have a responsibility to put your family before yourself. For most of you that is not a problem. But if it is, stop and correct that. And teach your children the same.

O God, thank You for my family. Thank You for convicting me when I become selfish in my time and energy. I want to please You as I care for my family.

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