Category Archives: Accountability

Accountability, Bible, Child Raising, Child Rearing, Commands, Disciplemaking, Following, Inspirational, Love, Mentoring, Modeling, Parenting, Scripture, Submission, Surrender, Testimony

NOT TOO HEAVY

1 JOHN 5:3

“For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments; and His commandments are not burdensome.”

Have you ever lifted weights? I did that a lot in junior high and high school. I have done some of that as an adult, but not consistently. For weights to work you have to lift them, right? You can lift to build muscle, or you can lift to tone muscle. But you must lift. You push against the resistance. You must endure some uncomfortableness to gain the benefit of the weights.

How does that apply to today’s verse? John uses the word “burdensome.” That word in the Greek means weighty or heavy. The difference is the rest of the definition. It can mean pressingdown on a person with oppressive force. This kind of burden makes a person unable to function. That is NOT the purpose of God’s commandments. However, God’s commandments do require us to build spiritual muscle to follow them. They require us to push against the forces of evil. That will build muscle.

APPLICATION

Do you have any weights in your house? Maybe some small dumbbells? If you don’t, you can use anything with any weight. Have your kids do a little workout for you. Join them. Let them lift until they get tired and then feel their muscles. They love that. Talk about how the weights cause our muscles to grow because of their heaviness. The heavier the weight and the more they lift them, the bigger the muscles.

Explain to them the same thing happens when we choose to follow God’s command rather than the world. It’s easy to follow sin. There is no resistance, no push back, if we follow our flesh. But if we seek to follow the Lord’s commands, we will have to die to self and surrender. Tell them that’s how we grow as Christians. That’s how we grow those spiritual muscles.

Some days we can flex those muscles and obey. Other times, we feel limp and weak and can barely walk the walk. Listen beloved, He is your strength. You cannot do it on your own. It’s just not possible. But if you will yield to Him and follow His commands, you will experience the love of God in ways that will make you stronger.

I will follow Your commands. I want to be able to do the heavy lifting in life knowing You are the one “spotting” me as I lift.

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Accountability, Advice, Bible, Child Raising, Child Rearing, Choices, Commands, Commitment, Disciplemaking, Encouragement, Following, Love, Mentoring, Obedience, Parenting, Relationships, Scripture, Testimony

NOT A SUGGESTION

1 JOHN 4:21

“And this commandment we have from Him, that the one who loves God should love his brother also.”

When I was growing up, I worked for Mr. Walter Pollock in my hometown of Pelham, Ga. Mr. Pollock demanded a lot. When you worked for him, you worked for him. You didn’t daddle. He expected you to work your hours each day without wasting a minute. We got a lunch break, but that was about it. His “commands” to work weren’t suggestions. He wanted you to do exactly as he said.

The same is true (to an extent) with God. I don’t mean He is a slave driver. However, when God gives a command, He expects us to follow it. He doesn’t talk just to hear Himself. He gives us His commands plainly in His Word. John tells us that in today’s verse. Here’s the command – love our brother. If we say we love God, then we must love our brother – period.

APPLICATION

Why do we give our children rules to follow? What’s the use? They are going to grow up and do what they want anyway. Some parents think like that. If you watch their children, you can see who is running the show. Rules are meant to teach our children to obey those in authority. Rules are important. Now, I do believe the fewer rules the better. But you still must have rules to teach an orderly lifestyle.

Oh come on, Carl. You sound like a gestapo. In today’s society, I probably do. But listen – we teach rules in our household to our children to teach them to listen to God’s rules. We, in fact, use His Word as the guide for any rules we may have. If our children aren’t taught to obey us, how in the world will they ever obey God? Rules matter.

I pray you are a rule follower. I don’t mean you have to be a stiff-necked follower with no flexibility, but I do mean that you consult the Word before making a decision. You consult the Word before doing that thing you aren’t quite sure about. God’s commands are here to protect us, not squash us. He wants us living in liberty which is only possible by following His commands. Just do it.

Father, I want to obey Your commands. Help me submit to Your Word and Your Spirit daily.

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Accountability, Bible, Child Raising, Child Rearing, Choices, Commands, Disciplemaking, Encouragement, Hatred, Hypocrisy, Inspirational, Love, Mentoring, Obedience, Parenting, Scripture, Testimony

LIAR, LIAR, PANTS ON FIRE

1 JOHN 4:20

“If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen.”

Have you ever heard that saying “Liar, Liar, pants on fire”? We would say it as kids, right? When we knew someone was lying, we would call them out. No one likes to be called a liar. There is one sure fire way of not – don’t lie. Just tell the truth. Easy peasy, problem solved. Lol

John calls us out in today’s verse. If we say we love God and hate our brother, we don’t love God. John says we are a liar. John doesn’t beat around the bush. He calls them like he sees them. Notice he says “brother.” Now, who is that referring to? Just our saved brothers? How about our sisters? How about the lost? I believe John is referring to all people. After all, God has created them all in His image. How could we not love them?

APPLICATION

You may have the occasion to hear your child say I just hate so and so. If you hear that, nip it in the bud. I mean, deal with it quickly. Hate has no room in the vocabulary of a believer, except to say we hate sin. Our children need to be taught that early. They may not like some people as much as others. That’s natural, but hate doesn’t belong.

Teaching them to love requires time. All people deserve love. We are God’s instruments of love to others, especially the lost. When we love them, we are showing them what He has done in our lives. Our love becomes an avenue on which they can travel to find Jesus. Have you ever thought about that? Love them so they can love Him.

I grew up in South Georgia during a time when racism was the norm. I still recall the names some people used to refer to people who had a different skin color than themselves. It went both ways. And those same people would be sitting in the church pew on Sunday morning singing and talking about God’s love. God forgive us for our disobedience. Will you love like Jesus? Will you love your “brother”?

I choose to love, Father. I will see others as You see them. They are, after all, made in Your image. We are all in need of a Savior.

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Accountability, Bible, Child Raising, Child Rearing, Choices, Denial, Disciplemaking, Encouragement, Following, Listening, Mentoring, Parenting, Scripture, Witnessing

LISTEN UP

1 JOHN 4:6

“We are from God; he who knows God listens to us; he who is not from God does not listen to us. By this we know the spirit of truth and the spirit of error.”

Let me ask you a question to which I already know the answer. Have your children ever not listened to you? How many times, Carl? Yeah, I know. Isn’t that frustrating? You plainly tell them something, and it goes in one ear and out the other. They are so distracted with their computer or phone, they never hear you. Oh, they say they are listening, but they aren’t.

I love that John puts us in the speaking part. He doesn’t say that these people (the non-listeners) aren’t listening to God. No! They aren’t listening to us. What does that mean? That means we must be the ones declaring the truths of God. We are the ones God uses to share with them. But they don’t listen. Both times “listen” is used here it is in the Present tense. That means it is ongoing. They just don’t listen.

APPLICATION

Test out my question I asked you at the beginning. Ask your child to do something. Catch them at a time when they are absorbed with something they are doing. Get their attention and ask them to do something. But here’s the catch – ask them only once and leave the room. Give them a time to complete what you asked them to do. Then sit back and see if they do it.

Your children need to listen, of course. But they really need to really listen. They need to listen with the intent to obey. That’s the meaning of “listen” in today’s verse. Why is that so important? Because God is going to ask them to do things for Him. He won’t beg them to do it. He will ask and then let them choose. What will they do? We pray they will hear and then respond. Prepare them for that.

Are you listening? Better yet, are you telling others about Jesus? Our job is to tell. We can’t force the listening. That’s their choice. I wish sometimes I could force some people to listen. But I can’t. All I can do is be faithful to do what the Lord has told me to do. Will you join me?

Open my mouth to tell the good news of the gospel to anyone who will listen. Thank You, Lord, for the privilege to be Your mouthpiece.

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Accountability, Bible, Child Raising, Child Rearing, Condemnation, Confession, Encouragement, Forgiveness, God's Will, Mentoring, Parenting, Repentance, Salvation, Scripture

GOD IS GREATER

1 JOHN 3:20

“in whatever our heart condemns us; for God is greater than our heart and knows all things.”

We can rationalize our sins, can’t we? We can excuse our “little” inconsistencies and insist they are not so bad. We can always point at someone else and their sins. They are so much worse, right? Guess what? Sin is sin! Period. We can’t rely on what our heart condemns. We have to rely on the One who judges all things.

John tells us God is greater than our hearts. He knows our every little thought. He knows our motives. He knows our hearts much better than we do. We cannot hide our secret sins. We have one choice – to come to Him in full confession. He does know all things, including every thought of our heart.

APPLICATION

Have you convinced your children you have eyes in the back of your head? Lol. A lot of children would swear that their parents do. They can’t seem to get away with anything. That’s a good thing, huh? Of course, we know we don’t. We just have a little more experience and can spot a lie or deceitful heart.

Our children need to learn that there is no reason to try to hide their hearts. God loves them and wants them to walk with Him in Spirit and truth. Keeping your heart confessed before Him allows you to not be condemned. If you have asked Christ to be your Lord and Savior, there is no reason to walk in condemnation. That’s the tactic of the devil. He wants to accuse us. God doesn’t. He forgives us.

So, are you feeling condemned? Get rid of that right now. God is great, not because He wants to zap you. God is great because He loved you enough to send His Son to die for you. God has no desire to condemn you. Nor does He want you to allow your heart to condemn you. He longs for you to come to Him. Won’t you do that today?

Father, I confess I am not worthy to even be called Your child, but You call me that. I bring all those sins before You now for cleansing.

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Accountability, Bible, Child Raising, Child Rearing, Destruction, Double-minded, Evil, Hatred, Holy Spirit, Love, Mentoring, Modeling, Parenting, Relationships, Scripture, Self-control, Testimony

HATE = MURDER

1 JOHN 3:15

“Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer; and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him.”

Have you ever hated someone so much you wanted to kill them? I am sure you quickly say No! Not many of us would ever let that thought cross our mind. But have you thought of ways to “payback” someone for something they have done to you? Come on, be honest. It’s not a far stretch from one to the other, in the eyes of the world. Hate is hate and only leads to wrong choices.

John is not saying everyone who hates is actually going to kill someone. But he is saying that spirit of hate harbored in your heart comes from the source. There’s no room for hatred in the life of a believer. Did Jesus hate? Of course, not. And if we are to emulate our Master, we must lie down anything that is contrary to Him.

APPLICATION

Your children are going to come in one day from school or play and say, “I hate…” You had better jump on that one. You need to find out what is going on and why. We cannot have our children hating others. We know people say and do things that hurt their feelings, but hatred can be no response.

So, what do we teach them during these times. To love. That’s it. We teach them to pray for those who have harmed them. We teach them to try to figure out why they have done or said those things. Sin has a reason. We know that. As you lead them to pray for those individuals, pray for those who have harmed you as well.

Children watch us forgive. They learn forgiveness best by forgiving. It’s not easy, but it’s possible. When we remember that it is the Lord who forgives through us, it is a lot easier. Allow Him to just love them as only He can. Make sure they know it is because of His love for them that you forgive. They may reject that. That’s okay. Their acceptance is not your responsibility. Your forgiveness is.

I will harbor no hatred in my heart toward others. I will love as You do, Lord, through the power of the Holy Spirit.

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CHANGING SEATS

1 JOHN 3:14

“We know that we have passed out of death into life, because we love the brethren. He who does not love abides in death.”

Have you ever asked to change seats on a plane so you could have the window seat? I used to like to sit by the window so I could look out. Over the years that interest faded. I just want to sit somewhere now where I can rest or read and not be bothered by others getting up and crawling across my lap. Lol

But sometimes a change of scenery is good. We’ve been given that in Christ. Our previous view was death. We were doomed to an eternal damnation with no way to get out on our own. But then Christ came and shed His blood for us. That changed everything. We now have life, and it shows in our love for each other.

APPLICATION

I often am told by parents that they can tell when their young child has committed themselves to Christ. Their heart gets tender. They start asking for forgiveness for wrongs done. Their very nature has changed. Isn’t that the way it’s supposed to be? We should look different on the outside. People should be able to tell we have life now.

Once you see your child striving to live like Jesus, you can waste no time discipling them. They are going to need your guidance in how to study the Word and how to pray. You can’t leave this up to chance. No matter how young or old your child is when they come to that saving knowledge of Jesus, they are going to need you to walk with them.

Aren’t you glad you no longer walk in death? You now can walk in newness of life every day. Jesus walks with you as you learn to love others as He does. He can teach you the joys that come in life. The fear of death is gone. You only have glory to look forward to one day. Hallelujah!

I do walk in life! You are the reason, Lord. Help me introduce others as well.

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Accountability, Bible, Child Raising, Child Rearing, Choices, Commands, Disciplemaking, Encouragement, Hatred, Love, Mentoring, Modeling, Parenting, Relationships, Scripture, The World

SURPRISE – NOT

1 JOHN 3:13

“Do not be surprised, brethren, if the world hates you.”

I don’t exactly remember the first time I realized the world hated me because of my beliefs. I mean, I know my walk with Christ does not exactly measure up to the world’s walk. My exposure to hatred has been more from some individuals who wanted to argue about abortion, same sex marriage or another strongly held belief. My refusal to argue with them only seemed to make them want to fight more. Have you experienced that?

John is warning us to not be surprised. In fact, that is a command – DO NOT be surprised. He is essentially telling us we are going to face this. But we are not to hate back. Jesus warned us of this Himself. John heard Him say that. John watch how He responded to their hatred, all the way to the cross. He heard Him say those words on the cross, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.”

APPLICATION

Here we go again. How do you teach your children this truth? You live it out before them. Every time someone treats you with hatred, you respond with love. When they continue to hate you, you continue to love. You invite your children to pray with you for that person. You ask the Lord to break down that hatred they have in their heart because we know it is not of God.

Children learn from that. They are watching. They will imitate those actions much quicker than just repeat your words. And when you see them imitate that love, make sure you praise them for it. Let them know how proud you are of them for choosing love over hatred.

Is there someone you need to love more today who has shown you nothing but scorn and hatred? I didn’t say it was easy. Hatred towards us, if we are living for Christ, is really hatred towards Him. He received it. Why shouldn’t we? Allow Jesus to love through you. Don’t return the hate. Return love.

I choose love over hate, even when I know it will be difficult. Help me, Lord, to surrender to you daily.

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Accountability, Bible, Child Raising, Child Rearing, Direction, Disciplemaking, Encouragement, Family, Following, Inspirational, Love, Mentoring, Modeling, Parenting, Protection, Scripture, Self-control, Testimony

WHAT A STORY

1 JOHN 3:12

“not as Cain, who was of the evil one and slew his brother. And for what reason did he slay him? Because his deeds were evil, and his brother’s were righteous.”

Have you ever heard a story told over and over? My brother-in-law, Dr. Wayne Barber, was a master storyteller. He just had a way of bringing you right into the story. He famously told his beaver dam story more times than I can count, but each time he told it, I was sucked right in. Some stories are just that memorable.

John is reminding us of a story we have all heard before. Cain killed his brother. Wow! He was jealous of his brother. And when he was confronted by God after he killed him, what did he say? Am I my brother’s keeper? Why yes, Cain, you are. That’s John’s point. We are all our brother’s keeper.

APPLICATION

If you have more than one child, don’t you teach your older children to keep an eye on the younger ones? I don’t mean they should be responsible for them. But they do have an obligation to watch over them, to help protect them. It’s just the right thing for siblings to do.

I will never forget defending my little sister on a school playground when I was in the second grade and she was in the first grade. The class bully had decided to pick on her during recess, and I was going to have none of that. After our confrontation (let’s leave it at that), he didn’t bother her again. Now, I am not advocating fighting. Please don’t hear me say that. But I am saying we have to teach our children to look after each other.

Is there a weaker brother who could use your support? Maybe someone is going through some marriage struggles right now and needs advice. Perhaps someone is struggling with a wayward child and you’ve got some experience in that area. Don’t turn your back. Ask the Lord to use you to lighten their load.

Use me, Lord, however you wish to come to the aid of those around me. I want to honor You.

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OBVIOUS THINGS

1 JOHN 3:10

“By this the children of God and the children of the devil are obvious: anyone who does not practice righteousness is not of God, nor the one who does not love his brother.”

Have you ever lost your glasses only to find them right where you left them – on your head? I have. It’s kind of embarrassing. You would think something that obvious would be hard to miss. I have also misplaced my cellphone only to find it in my hand. Our minds can play some tricks on us, can’t it?

John was perhaps trying to help the early believers distinguish between obvious believers and non-believers. Remember, back in John’s day the church was under persecution. I am sure some spies were sent out into the church to try to bring it down. John is attempting to help everyone recognize the brethren. Those who were not of God should stick out like a sore thumb,

Your children are going to need some good Christian friends to do life with. We need friends. Kids need kids. But sometimes the very friend they think they can count on can turn on them. That’s why it is so important to make sure they share the same biblical worldview. They may not always agree, but if they share a common view of things, that goes a long way.

APPLICATION

How do you do that? By knowing their parents. If the parents share your values, chances are they are raising their kids that way. You can feel safe with your child visiting their home. When troubles arise, you can talk it out as fellow believers. The last thing you want to do is have your child spending a lot of time in ungodly homes. That should be obvious (there’s that word again.)

Do you have a close-knit group of friends you can talk to? You need that. But be careful to pick the ones who love Jesus and will encourage your walk with Him. Anyone who pulls you off the straight and narrow will do other things eventually. That may mean you don’t have many close friends. That’s okay. Love them and let them love you. God will be honored.

Lord, I thank You for my friends who encourage me to walk with You. Help me be an encouraging friend to them as well.

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