Author Archives: gonelikeashadowatevening

Bible, Body, Family, Husbands, Scripture, Wives

ONE BODY

EPHESIANS 5:30

“because we are parts of His body.”

Have you ever been part of a group or club that was real close? I have had the privilege to have been parts of a couple of groups like that. One was a men’s Bible study group called “Bubba Land.” This group started out for men who loved the outdoors (hunting, fishing, hiking, etc). The name “Bubba” just kind of described this bunch of guys. But man, did we love each other! I could have called any one of those guys at any time for anything and they would have come running. Now that I live in Knoxville, I can’t be a part of that group anymore. Miss those guys!

The NASB translation leaves out part of the Greek text. Literally it reads, “for members we are of His body, of His flesh and of His bones.” That’s pretty descriptive. Of course, Paul is continuing to give the analogy of a husband and wife comparing them to Christ and the church. In Genesis 2:23 we hear Adam exclaim, “‘At last this is bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; She shall be called “woman,” because she was taken out of man.’”

APPLICATION

We are called the “body of Christ” throughout the New Testament. 1 Corinthians 12:27 says, “Now you are Christ’s body, and individually parts of it.” In Romans 12:4-5, Paul says this right before he starts talking about spiritual gifts. “4 For just as we have many parts in one body and all the body’s parts do not have the same function, 5 so we, who are many, are one body in Christ, and individually parts of one another.” Yes, we are separate, but we make a whole.

In the same way, when a husband and wife come together in marriage, they cease to be separate entities. They are now one. Doesn’t it say a man should leave his parents and cleave to his wife? His body belongs to her, and her body belongs to him. They are physically, emotionally and spiritually joined together as one. How beautiful is that?

Unfortunately, our society gives us too much freedom to just walk away from our union with our spouse. We “fall out of love.” We “grow apart.” No, no, no! We are bound together. We have responsibilities for each other. Don’t let the world tell you how to love your husband or your wife. Go to God. He has the answers. You are one.

Thank You, Lord, for joining me with my wife and giving us a life together.

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Bible, Cherish, Husbands, Nourish, Scripture, Wives

CHERISHING

EPHESIANS 5:29

“for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church,”

I love to eat a good meal. My wife and I found a great Mexican restaurant here in Knoxville recently. (If you want the name of it, let me know, lol) Nourishing our bodies is why we eat, right? We also like to wear nice things. We want to look good when people see us. I don’t mean we have to have expensive things – just nice enough to look good.

In today’s verse Paul continues with the commands to the husband in regard to his wife. Many scholars believe Paul is referencing the commands echoed in Exodus 21:10. “If he takes to himself another woman, he may not reduce her food, her clothing, or her conjugal rights.” Paul is not saying men should take multiple wives, but he is saying that he should nourish (not reduce her food) and cherish her (provide clothing). Men have a responsibility to provide for his wives need, just as much as he provides for his own needs.

APPLICATION

The Greek word used here for “nourishes” is ektrephó which means to feed properly or bring to maturity. Paul uses the same word later in this letter to the Ephesians in Ephesians 6:4. “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” These are the only two times this word is used. Paul is not saying husbands should treat their wives as children. Instead, he is saying husbands need to help bring their wives to a spiritual maturity.

When Paul tells husbands to cherish their wives, he uses the Greek word thalpó. HELPS Word studies defines this word this way. “to keep warm; (figuratively) “warm someone up” (= revive their health) by nourishing and nurturing.” What husband doesn’t want to keep their wife warm? That is done by providing clothing and a home. And what wife doesn’t want that?

Husbands, if you are reading this, take this command seriously. Your wife needs this, and you need to do it. Nourish her! Cherish her! Remember, you are doing this in response to Christ’s love for you. And wives, whether your husband is obedient to do this or not, remember you are cherished by your Lord. He knows you and loves you.

Father, lead all husbands to nourish and cherish their wives as Christ does toward the church.

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Bible, Husbands, Love, Scripture, Wives

LOVE THYSELF

EPHESIANS 5:28

“So husbands also ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself;”

Getting old ain’t for sissies, or so I’ve been told. With age comes the struggle to keep weight off. Exercise seems harder. I really try to stay somewhat fit, but boy it’s a struggle. My wife says I like bread too much. True! And I pay for it on the scales. But I want to take care of this old body as much as I can so I can be of use for kingdom work.

In today’s verse, Paul compares the love a husband has for his own body to how much he loves his wife. Barnes puts it so well in his commentary on this verse. He says, “by this, he really promotes his own welfare, as much as he does when he takes care of his own body. A man’s kindness to his wife will be more than repaid by the happiness which she imparts; and all the real solicitude which he shows to make her happy, will come to more than it costs. If a man wishes to promote his own happiness in the most effectual way, he had better begin by showing kindness to his wife.”

APPLICATION

The Greek word for “ought” is ophello which “refers to being morally obligated (or legally required) to meet an obligation, i.e. to pay off a legitimate debt.” (HELPS Word studies.) I owe it to myself to love my wife as much as I love myself. By doing that, I am also caring for myself. You may have heard the expression “Happy Wife, Happy Life.” Well, that’s true, isn’t it?

You may be thinking, I don’t love myself very well, Carl. How will that affect loving my wife? That is a very good question. You need to know who you are in Christ. You need to love yourself. If you don’t, you are likely to take that out on your wife by not loving her well. You don’t have to be cocky and snobby about it. Just be secure in who you are in Christ.

I jokingly say most mornings that I got better looking during the night. Of course, I am usually corrected rather quickly by whoever hears me say that. But I do love myself. I love being able to love my wife well. Do I do that perfectly? Of course not. Most days I fall way short of doing that. But my heart every day is to show her the love of Christ. So, man up, big boy! Love your wife well.

Father, help me to love my wife more than I love myself. Help me show her Jesus every day.

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Bible, Blameless, Bride, Church, Holy, Scripture

HIS BRIDE

EPHESIANS 5:27

“that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless.”

I’ll never forget the scene of my lovely bride walking down the aisle of the church on December 7, 1985. What a sight for a young man to behold. As the music played and the people stood, all eyes were on her as she slowly walked the aisle with her dad. That was almost 39 years ago. Wow! But she still has my eye. She still is my beautiful bride and the one I am pledged to.

In this verse, Paul jumps headlong into a description of Christ’s bride, the church. He has been comparing our earthly marriages to this for the past few verses, but now all attention is on this holy union. The original Greek emphasizes this presentation a little more. It literally says, “that He Himself might present to Himself.” It is Christ Who will cleanse the church in preparation for her presentation.

APPLICATION

In Revelation 19:7-9, we read, “7 ‘Let us rejoice and be glad and give the glory to Him, for the marriage of the Lamb has come and His bride has made herself ready.’ 8 It was given to her to clothe herself in fine linen, bright and clean; for the fine linen is the righteous acts of the saints. 9 Then he said to me, ‘Write, “Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb.”’ And he said to me, ‘These are true words of God.’” One day, His bride (the church) will be united with her bridegroom (Jesus). All eyes in heaven will be on her at this marriage supper in heaven.

Right now, we can’t say the church is without spot or wrinkle or any such thing. We are a flawed church full of flawed people. The Father knows that, so He is perfecting us so that we will be presentable to His Son. That perfecting can be painful at times as He drives the sin and corruption out. We are being purified for that holy day in heaven.

Let me ask you this – are you ready, as part of the church, to be presented to the bridegroom? Have you purified yourself? Are you free of spot or wrinkle? Work on your marriage gown. Make yourself presentable for the Holy One in heaven. We will never reach perfection here on earth, but we should strive to make ourselves ready for the marriage feast. I’m getting dressed. How about you?

Father, I cannot wait to behold that wonderful, glorious day that is described in Your Word.

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Bible, Husbands, Sanctification, Scripture, Washing, Wives

A GOOD WASHING

EPHESIANS 5:26

“so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,”

Way back in 1985, I made my second trip to Liberia. I was still in my first year of marriage and my wife was pregnant with our first child. When I returned from two weeks in Africa, having been back in the bush, I had a unique smell. To put it bluntly, I stunk. With my wife’s heightened sense of smell due to her pregnancy, something had to happen quick. I scrubbed and scrubbed until I finally got rid of the smell. Most of my clothes were thrown away, lol.

Paul is not saying that the wives stink so their husbands must give them a good washing. Instead, this cleansing, this washing was a sanctification process. Paul uses a similar phrase in Titus 3:5. “He saved us, not on the basis of deeds which we did in righteousness, but in accordance with His mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewing by the Holy Spirit,” So, Paul is saying in today’s verse that the man’s primary goal should be the salvation and sanctification of his wife, just as Christ did for the church.

APPLICATION

I love 1 Corinthians 6:11 which says, “Such were some of you; but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God.” This is what the godly husband desires for his wife. His goal is not control and power. His goal is to see his wife become more like Jesus. To follow up from yesterday’s verse, that is real love.

In John 17:17-19, Jesus talks about our sanctification. He is praying to His Father and says, “‘17 Sanctify them in the truth; Your word is truth. 18 Just as You sent Me into the world, I also sent them into the world. 19 And for their sakes I sanctify Myself, so that they themselves also may be sanctified in truth.” A godly husband will use the Word to lead his wife toward her sanctification.

Husbands, how do you want your wife to smell? I want mine to smell more like Jesus. Nothing thrills my heart more than to see her studying the Word. She loves to read out loud to herself. Sometimes, I will stop out of her sight and just listen. Then I lift a prayer to our Father and thank Him for her desire to know Him more fully. Husbands, wash your wife with the Word and lead her to a fuller sanctification.

Father, I thank You for the honor of leading my wife and loving her as You do.

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Bible, Husbands, Love, Scripture, Wives

LOVE Y0UR WIVES

EPHESIANS 5:25

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her,”

Awww! Love is a many splendid thing! Right? We fall into love. What does that mean? People say, “He is head over heels in love with her.” What does that mean? Well, I don’t have a perfect definition for it. I do know I fell for my wife pretty quickly. But our love was not the romantic, movie style love. It was a love given to us by the Lord for each other. That is much deeper than the highly emotional one we see so much of on tv and in the movies. I love my wife because first of all she loves Jesus.

This verse is one of the Every Man A Warrior memory verses. I have probably recited this verse a few hundred times in the past nine years. But not until I did a Quiet Time on this verse did it hit me what Paul was really saying. I have to love my wife as Jesus did the church. He was dying for what the church would become after His death. I am to love my wife for what she is to be in Christ after I die to myself.

APPLICATION

I want to give you a weblink you can go to and read some of the commentaries on this verse. It is:

https://biblehub.com/commentaries/ephesians/5-25.htm

Especially, scroll down and read Barnes’ commentary. He gives some great analysis of this verse and the responsibility of the husband to his wife.

Let me just say, if a husband does this right, there will be no problem for his wife to submit herself to him. If he doesn’t, therein lies the rub. In 1 Peter 3:7 (another EMAW memory verse) we read, “You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.” That’s loving your wife.

Loving your wife, men, means sacrificing your own desires to please her. I love to hunt and fish, but I have learned to ask my wife’s permission to plan those events. The time I spend doing those things which I love is time away from her and our home. Some men may say, “Well she knew I did that stuff before she married me.” Good luck with that. I want to honor my wife and by doing that, I am loving her well.

Father, let Your love flow through me to my wife. Let her see Jesus in me.

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Bible, Everything, Faith, Faithfulness, Scripture, Trust

IN EVERYTHING?

EPHESIANS 5:24

“But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.”

What does “everything” mean to you? Carl, that’s an easy one. It means everything. You think so? When I think of that word, I think of complete, whole, nothing lacking. We are told all through Scripture that we should give thanks to God in everything. Really? Does that include the good and the bad? Yep! That’s hard to do, isn’t it? So is the use of the word in today’s verse. Take a look.

Paul is still discussing the women’s responsibility to subject themselves to their husbands. Now he says they should do that in everything. Does that mean no matter what it is? Look at how Gill’s Exposition describes this. It says “everything” means in “political, domestic, and ecclesiastic; that is consistent with the laws of God, and the Gospel of Christ.” Ah, there we go. God does not expect a wife to submit to her husband if it requires going against the laws of God.

APPLICATION

What do I mean by that? Perhaps the husband wants to get his wife to go along with deception. Take a look at Acts 5:1-2. “1 But a man named Ananias, with his wife Sapphira, sold a piece of property, 2 and kept back some of the proceeds for himself, with his wife’s full knowledge, and bringing a portion of it, he laid it at the apostles’ feet.” Remember this story? What happened? Because of his deception, he was struck dead by God. And then later, this happens when the wife also lied to Peter. “And immediately she collapsed at his feet and died; and the young men came in and found her dead, and they carried her out and buried her beside her husband.”

God does not expect a wife to subject herself to ungodly practices if her husband is demanding it. Instead, He expects her to obey Him first and foremost. By doing that, God will honor her. Perhaps her obedience to the Lord will win her husband to Christ. When she obeys, she can be the light he needs to see Jesus.

Unfortunately, that is not always the case. A husband can make his wife miserable if she refuses to follow his lead. For all you wives out there facing such a trial, remain faithful. The Lord sees you. He knows your struggle. He will come to your aid. I know you are probably thinking, Carl, you don’t know my husband. True, but I know our God. In your hard times, trust Him in everything.

Father, it is easy to trust in the good times, but it is hard when everything seems to be against us. Help my faith.

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Bible, Family, Husbands, Scripture, Subjection, Submission, Wives

THERE’S AN ORDER TO IT

EPHESIANS 5:23

“For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body.”

I like order. I like things in their place. I probably got that from my dad. He had a shop in the back of our house. In that shop was all kind of tools, wood, screws, nuts and bolts and a lot of other stuff he had collected over the years. But in that shop everything had its place.

God has an order to things, as we began to see in yesterday’s blog (check it out if you missed it). Father – Son (Jesus) – Husband – Wife. The Greek word for “head” used here means lord or ruler. Just as Jesus followed the lead of the Father, husbands are to follow Jesus, and the wife is to follow her husband. Again, as I said yesterday, this is God’s design, not mine. There is a purpose for everything God does, including the design for the home.

APPLICATION

Christ came to lead the church, to be the head of the church, but He was also the Savior of the body. He gave Himself freely to die on a cross for each and every believer. In the same way, husbands are to sacrifice themselves for their wives. Then and only then will the wives follow them and subject themselves. When a wife sees her husband making sacrifices for her, she is drawn to that. Some men sacrifice their hobbies (hunting, fishing, golfing) in order to spend more time with their wives and children. God will honor him for that sacrifice.

The “lordship” the husband has over his wife is never meant to be one of abuse or disadvantage. No, this lordship is only meant to show he is in control of himself and his family. His role as protector and priest of his household is key to the wife’s willingness to subject herself to his leadership. Remember, the comparison is to Christ. What an example!

Paul will continue his statements about the family for several verses. I would encourage you to read those verses (5:22-6:1) several times and ask the Lord what He would have you learn from His plan for the family. If your family does not look like these verses, pray and ask the Father what you need to do.

O Lord, help me be the husband/wife I need to be for my spouse.

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Bible, Family, God's Will, Husbands, Marriage, Scripture, Wives

WIVES AND THEIR HUSBANDS

EPHESIANS 5:22

“Wives, subject yourselves to your own husbands, as to the Lord.”

Ephesians 5:22-6:4 is a well-known passage about the roles of a family (wife, husband, child, father). I want to begin by saying that these are God’s words given to Paul through the Holy Spirit to pen for the Ephesians and future generations. You may not like all that is written here. Many people don’t. They claim these thoughts are outdated or irrelevant for today. But do I need to remind you that every single word in the Bible is inspired by God and is profitable? (2 Timothy 3:16-17) So, don’t get mad at me for what Paul is saying. Don’t get mad at Paul. He was just the messenger. Take it up with God.

Paul starts out these verses on family by instructing the wife. I mentioned in yesterday’s blog on 5:21 that some people don’t like the thought of women submitting or subjecting themselves to a man. Go back and read that blog for a further description about that word “subject.” I am not going to rehearse that thought today. Instead, I want you to look at some other verses God gives us on today’s subject. Before we do that, look at the last four words of today’s verse – “as to the Lord.” That is the parameter for the woman’s submission.

APPLICATION

I want to start this application with a quote from Barnes about this verse. Hang with me. It’s kind of long, but I think it is a great view of the text. “Where commands begin ‘in this relation,’ happiness usually ends; and the moment a husband ‘requires’ a wife to do anything, it is usually a signal of departing or departed affection and peace. When there are proper feelings in both parties in this relation there will be no occasion either to command or to obey. There should be such mutual love and confidence, that the known ‘wish’ of the husband should be a law to the wife: and that the known desires of the wife should be the rule which he would approve. A perfect government is that where the known wish of the lawgiver is a sufficient rule to the subject. Such is the government of heaven; and a family on earth should approximate as nearly as possible to that.”

That was pretty good, huh? It’s a mutual thing when it is done as the Lord commands. In 1 Corinthians 11:3, we read this, “But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ.” The Lord gives us clear roles in family. They are not to be ignored, for when they are, chaos rules. For more on this, read verses 4-12 in 1 Corinthians 11.

The Lord spoke through Peter on this subject as well. In 1 Peter 3:1 it says, “In the same way, you wives, be subject to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won over without a word by the behavior of their wives,.” The wife’s submission to her husband can be used by the Lord to win over an unbelieving husband.

Over in Titus 2:3-5, Paul gives these instructions to Titus for the church. “3 Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, 4 so that they may encourage the young to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.”

I could go on and give you more passages on this subject of wives’ submission to their husbands, but I think you have the picture now. I encourage you to search the Scriptures yourself if you have doubts. Let the Lord correct you, not me. Do it all as to the Lord.

Father, I thank You for wives everywhere who see the benefits and rewards of following Your plan for the home.

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Bible, Humility, Scripture, Subjection, Submission

SUBJECT YOURSELVES

EPHESIANS 5:21

“and subject yourselves to one another in the fear of Christ.”

No one likes to submit to someone else. I have this image in my head of childhood wrestling matches and getting pinned by someone. They might have my arm behind my back or have put me in some other uncomfortable position and asked me to say “uncle,” which meant I was submitting to them. No one wants to be in that position. Now, get that image completely out of your head, because that is not what is meant in today’s verse.

Paul uses the word hupotassó which means “to subordinate; reflexively, to obey — be under obedience (obedient), put under, subdue unto, (be, make) subject (to, unto), be (put) in subjection (to, under), submit self unto.” (Strong’s Concordance). It is not a negative word. It is actually quite positive. We place ourselves up under someone willingly trusting they are looking out for us.

APPLICATION

The verse that really goads some people is Colossians 3:18. “Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.” Because of so much domestic violence, women are reluctant to accept this command from God’s Word. “Subjection” does not mean door mat. God never intended men to treat women disrespectfully. In fact, just the opposite. He told men to love their wives as Christ loved the church. He died for it.

In 1 Peter 5:5, there is another verse that disturbs people, this time the younger generation. “You younger men, likewise, be subject to your elders; and all of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because GOD IS OPPOSED TO THE PROUD, BUT HE GIVES GRACE TO THE HUMBLE.” Our younger generation today does not seem to want to submit or subject themselves to anyone, yet it is a command of the Lord.

Unless you accept your submission to God, unless you subject yourself to His will, you will never submit yourself to another person. But through your humility and willingness to serve another, you can learn to be subject. Try it today. Choose to submit. This honors our Father in heaven.

Father, thank You for allowing me to submit to Your leadership. Help me submit to those in authority over me.

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