EPHESIANS 5:33

“Nevertheless, as for you individually, each husband is to love his own wife the same as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.”

Back in the 1960’s Aretha Franklin had a hit song entitled, “R-E-S-P-E-C-T.” The song was talking about her wanting a little respect from her man when she comes home. Even though the song was super popular and really made her a star, the message is all wrong. Biblically speaking, it is the woman who is supposed to show respect to the man, not the other way around. Now, before you get mad and stop reading, I am not saying a woman should not be respected. I am saying when a man is shown the respect God intended from his wife, there will be reciprocal respect shown.

Notice today’s verse. Paul is wrapping up this passage on husbands and wives with this message. Husbands love your wives. Wives respect your husbands. Paul does not say husbands respect your wives and wives love your husbands. It is just understood that if each is following the Lord’s commands which He has given them, each will receive the love and respect they deserve. (look back and yesterday’s blog and the point about the triangle)

APPLICATION

We know the word for “love” in this verse. It’s the Greek word of God’s love, agapao. But what is the Greek word for “respect”? It is phobeó, which means to fear, dread, show reverence to, to be afraid, or to be terrified. Now, context is the key. Look how this word is used in Matthew 1:20. This is the scene in which the angel of the Lord appears to Joseph about Mary. “But when he had thought this over, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, ‘Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife; for the Child who has been conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit.’” Here, phobeó obviously means to not fear or be terrified.

In Luke 1:50 we see this word used again, but in a similar way it is used our verse today. This is Mary speaking during her Magnificat. “‘And His mercy is to generation after generation toward those who fear Him.’” We are not to be scared of God. Instead, we are to show Him reverence and respect. That’s how Paul is using this word in Ephesians 5:33.

Unfortunately, too many women do fear their husbands because of their brutality. God does not expect wives to have to deal with that. God’s plan for marriage works perfectly when both parties are following Him. If you are in an abusive marriage, seek help now. Don’t stay a victim of fear. If you are in a healthy marriage (notice I didn’t say perfect), do it God’s way. Let each of you show each other the love and respect God expects from you.

O God, thank You for showing us how to love well. Thank You for healthy marriages that model Christ’s love for the church.