Category Archives: Wives

Bible, Christ, Death, Freedom, Husbands, Scripture, Sin, Wives

THE EXAMPLE CONTINUES

ROMANS 7:3

“So then, if while her husband is alive she gives herself to another man, she will be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from the law, so that she is not an adulteress if she gives herself to another man.”

Paul continues his example of marriage and remarriage in today’s verse. Like I said yesterday, these two verses are an illustration of the truth of sin being put to death in our lives and our new life in Jesus. That is the reason Paul uses this earthly example. It’s something the people could understand.

Jesus did the same thing when He spoke in parables. When his disciples asked Him why He spoke in this way, He explained Himself. We find that in Matthew 13.10-17. Let’s look at part of that passage here. “13 ‘This is why I speak to the crowds in parables: although they see, they don’t really see; and although they hear, they don’t really hear or understand. 14 What Isaiah prophesied has become completely true for them:

“You will hear, to be sure, but never understand;
and you will certainly see but never recognize what you are seeing.

15 For this people’s senses have become calloused,
and they’ve become hard of hearing, and they’ve shut their eyes so that they won’t see with their eyes or hear with their ears or understand with their minds and change their hearts and lives that I may heal them.”’” (Isaiah 6:9-10)

APPLICATION

Can I give you some advice on sharing the Gospel? Use personal examples from your life, things that others can relate to. That’s what Jesus and Paul were doing. They gave us a model to follow. When I have the opportunity to share with someone, I talk more about how the Lord has changed my life rather than rattling off Bible verses or waxing eloquently about Bible doctrine. I want whomever I am talking with to get a picture of what God does in someone’s life.

Paul’s use of the example in Romans 7:2-3 can make a deep theological thought more understandable. Death brings freedom. For the wife whose husband has died or husband whose wife has died, they are now free to remarry if God so ordains. Our sinful flesh was nailed to the cross and died with Christ. Because of that death, we are now free to live anew in Jesus. We are married to Christ forever.

Don’t make the simple more complicated just to sound more spiritual. I don’t think Jesus or Paul tried to make themselves sounds smart. They were more interested in telling them about God’s great plan of salvation than impressing anyone. Remember the comments about the disciples after Christ died. People knew these were ordinary men, but they had been in the presence of Jesus and were changed. You and I need to stay in the presence of Jesus and allow Him to impress, not us.

O God, hide me behind Jesus whenever I speak of Him.

If the Lord should lead you to support our ministry, check out our ministry page at Trans World Radio (www.twr.org/carl-willis). 

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Bible, Bonds, Death, Freedom, Husbands, Marriage, Scripture, Wives

CONTEXT IN KING

ROMANS 7:2

“For the married woman is bound by law to her husband as long as he is alive; but if her husband dies, she is released from the law concerning the husband.”

It is amazing how people can take a verse out of the middle of a passage and build a whole belief system on it. Today’s verse poses such an opportunity. Before you jump on me, I do believe in the sanctity of marriage. Not all marriages are salvageable, however, and God would never punish the innocent victim. (For more on that check on Dr. Spiros Zodhiates’ book on “Divorce and Remarriage.”)

But marriage and divorce were really not Paul’s intention in this passage. He is using an earthly illustration to build on the previous verse about our freedom from the Law versus our servitude to it. The Pulpit Commentary says it well. “The general drift of the above verses is plain enough; namely, that, as in all cases death frees a man from the claims of human law, and, in particular, as death frees the wife from the claims of marital law, so that she may marry again, so the death of Christ, into which we were baptized, frees us from the claims of the law which formerly bound us, so that we may be married spiritually to the risen Saviour, apart from the old dominion of law, and consequently of sin.”

APPLICATION

The word used by Paul translated as “bound” is deó. It literally means to bind, be in bonds, knit, tie or wind. Paul is not saying a woman is tied up when she is married. There weren’t ropes holding her to the man. Sure, there are spiritual implications to a marriage. Marriage should be between one man and one woman for life. The Mosaic Law taught that a man or woman was free to remarry if their spouse died. But the Law also allowed a man to divorce his wife for even a minor offense. In that culture, man ruled. Women were subservient. Paul is not talking about this.

Listen carefully. Paul is saying that when we died to sin (represented by the death of a spouse), we were free to walk with Christ (represented by the freedom to remarry). Celebrate your freedom in Christ. Don’t focus on the illustration. Focus on the truth. Every word of Scripture is inspired, so I know God through the Holy Spirit instructed Paul to write these words and use this illustration. He wanted to give us a way to understand the divine truth of our death and resurrection in Christ.

Are you still walking in bonds to your former manner of life? You may claim you have tried everything to be set free, but you just can’t shake it. Hogwash! When you say things like that, you are limited the God of the universe on whom there are no limits. Do you need help? You may, but you can free yourself from the bonds of sin that so easily entangle you.

Father God, You have set us free from the bonds of sin to walk free and victoriously in Christ

If the Lord should lead you to support our ministry, check out our ministry page at Trans World Radio (www.twr.org/carl-willis). 

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Bible, Bitterness, Commands, Husbands, Scripture, Wives

DON’T BE BITTER

COLOSSIANS 3:19

“Husbands, love your wives and do not become bitter against them.”

My wife loves lemons. I am not a fan unless they are in a dessert. I guess the sugar calms down the bitterness or sour taste. When something bitter hits my tongue, it’s an immediate turn off. I always order my sweet iced-tea without lemon. Half the time it comes with it anyway, so I promptly offer it to my wife. I make sure not to drink out of that side of the glass because I just don’t like that taste.

Paul uses a Greek word for “become bitter” that is used only three other times (all in Revelation) where they refer to something tasting bitter. However, Paul uses it to refer to emotional bitterness – men against their wives. Strong’s Lexicon describes the word this way. “The verb pikrainó is used in the New Testament to describe the act of making something bitter or causing bitterness. It can refer to both literal bitterness, such as the taste of something, and metaphorical bitterness, such as emotional or relational bitterness. The term often conveys a sense of causing distress or irritation.”

APPLICATION

The Jewish people ate bitter herbs during the Passover to remind them of their suffering in Egypt. Bitterness is not something we normally enjoy. In the book of Revelation, John uses the word to describe waters becoming bitter (8:11) and John eating the scroll which started out sweet but became bitter in his stomach (10:9-20). What a perfect picture of this word as it relates to our verse today.

Husbands, are you sick of your wife? Now, before you answer that, what has made you sick or bitter towards her? I am willing to bet it is because of your expectations of her that she did not meet. You probably even think you have the right to be bitter or harsh with her. And that’s where you are wrong! You have no such right.

The Lord gives husbands a command today in this verse. The verb pikrainó is written in that way. We know if the Lord gives a command, we are supposed to obey it, right? The Lord doesn’t just drop hints. Stop the bitterness. Respond to her with love instead and see what happens.

O Lord, give me a sweet taste in my mouth every time I see my spouse.

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Bible, Family, Husbands, Scripture, Subjection, Submission, Wives

GODLY SUBJECTION

COLOSSIANS 3:18

“Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.”

Boy, oh boy! This is not something you hear a lot today. Women subjecting themselves to their husbands? Are you kidding me? Aren’t we all equal? If you think about it, we are all subject to someone. I am subject to my boss. I am subject to the donors who support my ministry. I am subject to my church. I am subject, most of all, to God.

Paul discusses roles and relationships in the remainder of chapter 3. These verses are almost exactly what he wrote to the Ephesians in Ephesians chapters 5 and 6. Describing biblical roles in families is not sexist. It’s not chauvinistic. It’s not biased toward one person over another. It’s just the way God planned for us to function in families and communities.

APPLICATION

Men, before you get all high and mighty about this verse, ask yourself this question. Am I a man to whom a godly woman would want to subject herself to? Paul is going to the men in the next verse, so hang on. But we men need to prepare ourselves to be “subject worthy.”

In Ephesians 5:21-24, we read this, “21 and subject yourselves to one another in the fear of Christ. 22 Wives, subject yourselves to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. 24 But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.”

Most any God-fearing, God-loving woman would willingly submit herself to a man who is subjecting himself to Christ. That can be trusted. That’s a man whom she can feel secure in trusting. Do you know many men like that? I do. They love God much more than they love their wives. Wives really do love that. So, wives subject yourself to that kind of man.

Father, thank You that we can subject ourselves to You.

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Bible, Husbands, Love, Respect, Scripture, Wives

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

EPHESIANS 5:33

“Nevertheless, as for you individually, each husband is to love his own wife the same as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.”

Back in the 1960’s Aretha Franklin had a hit song entitled, “R-E-S-P-E-C-T.” The song was talking about her wanting a little respect from her man when she comes home. Even though the song was super popular and really made her a star, the message is all wrong. Biblically speaking, it is the woman who is supposed to show respect to the man, not the other way around. Now, before you get mad and stop reading, I am not saying a woman should not be respected. I am saying when a man is shown the respect God intended from his wife, there will be reciprocal respect shown.

Notice today’s verse. Paul is wrapping up this passage on husbands and wives with this message. Husbands love your wives. Wives respect your husbands. Paul does not say husbands respect your wives and wives love your husbands. It is just understood that if each is following the Lord’s commands which He has given them, each will receive the love and respect they deserve. (look back and yesterday’s blog and the point about the triangle)

APPLICATION

We know the word for “love” in this verse. It’s the Greek word of God’s love, agapao. But what is the Greek word for “respect”? It is phobeó, which means to fear, dread, show reverence to, to be afraid, or to be terrified. Now, context is the key. Look how this word is used in Matthew 1:20. This is the scene in which the angel of the Lord appears to Joseph about Mary. “But when he had thought this over, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, ‘Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife; for the Child who has been conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit.’” Here, phobeó obviously means to not fear or be terrified.

In Luke 1:50 we see this word used again, but in a similar way it is used our verse today. This is Mary speaking during her Magnificat. “‘And His mercy is to generation after generation toward those who fear Him.’” We are not to be scared of God. Instead, we are to show Him reverence and respect. That’s how Paul is using this word in Ephesians 5:33.

Unfortunately, too many women do fear their husbands because of their brutality. God does not expect wives to have to deal with that. God’s plan for marriage works perfectly when both parties are following Him. If you are in an abusive marriage, seek help now. Don’t stay a victim of fear. If you are in a healthy marriage (notice I didn’t say perfect), do it God’s way. Let each of you show each other the love and respect God expects from you.

O God, thank You for showing us how to love well. Thank You for healthy marriages that model Christ’s love for the church.

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Bible, Christ, Church, Husbands, Mystery, Scripture, Wives

DON’T YOU LOVE A GOOD MYSTERY?

EPHESIANS 5:32

“This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church.”

I love a good mystery movie. The more mysterious the better. Trying to figure out “who done it” is fun and exciting. Sometimes, that mystery is revealed early and at other times it is revealed at the very end. The mystery keeps you glued to the movie.

In today’s verse, Paul uses a phrase “this mystery is great” which makes you wonder. But then he reveals the mystery in the next phrase, “but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. One scholar, Alford, says this, “the matter mystically alluded to in the Apostle’s application of the text just quoted; the mystery of the spiritual union of Christ with our humanity, typified by the close conjunction of the marriage state.” There you have it. Paul is continuing his analogy of husbands and wives with Christ and the church.

APPLICATION

One cannot explain the mysterious union that occurs in a marriage when the husband and wife truly seek the Lord. I have heard numerous pastors explain it with a triangle. The husband and wife are at the two bottom angles and God is at the top angle. The closer the husband gets to God and the closer the wife gets to God, the closer they get to each other. You may not see that physically, but spiritually they are continually drawing closer. It is truly a mystery.

The Greek word for “mystery” is mustérion which “is not something unknowable. Rather, it is what can only be known through revelation, i.e. because God reveals it. (HELPS Word studies). God is not trying to keep secrets. But neither is He going to give it all to you at once. It would probably literally blow our minds. God’s mysterious knowledge is disclosed to us as we are ready after we seek for it.

Look at this passage from Luke 8:9-10. “9 Now His disciples began asking Him what this parable meant. 10 And He said, ‘To you it has been granted to know the mysteries of the kingdom of God, but to the rest they are told in parables, so that while seeing they may not see, and while hearing they may not understand.’” Christ spoke in mysteries so only true seekers would understand. Are you seeking? Or are you still stuck trying to figure this whole God thing out? Ask Him. He will show you.

Father, I will never understand all the mysteries of Your kingdom until I reach Glory. Until then, help me continue to seek.

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Bible, Commands, Husbands, Marriage, Scripture, Wives

LEAVE AND CLEAVE

EPHESIANS 5:31

“FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND HIS MOTHER AND BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH.”

Many a marriage struggles with the concept of leaving and cleaving. Some men just won’t leave mama and daddy. They pull their wife into their parents’ lives and do not spend the time to make their own lives. Family is important, but a man must set up his own household and not force his wife to simply adopt his. I am not saying a man should forsake his parents and siblings. No! But neither should he just make his wife an extension of those relationships.

Paul refers back to the verse found in Genesis 2:24 as he continues to discuss husbands and wives. That verse says, “For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.” Even Jesus referred to this same verse in Matthew 19:5-6. Jesus said, “5 ‘FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND HIS MOTHER AND BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH’? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, no person is to separate.’” 

APPLICATION

This is one of the easy applications, if we will just do it. Men, we must support our wives in this. What do I mean by that? Well, we don’t compare our wife’s cooking to our moms. Honey, I bet if you asked mama how she cooks her chicken, she could help you. Not a smart comment. I am reminded of the tv show, Everyone Loves Raymond. Raymond never cut the apron strings, thus causing daily conflict with his wife. Sure, the writers made it appear like it was humorous, but in reality, not so much.

In the Genesis passage, the word “leave” literally means to forsake or loosen. God is telling husbands that their priority now is to his wife and their new family. The word “joined” means to cling and keep close. He says we are no longer two. We are one in the flesh. Jesus goes even further (He could because He is God) and says, “let no man separate.”

So, husbands, step up and cleave. Be joined to your bride as one. Support her. Cling to her. Serve her. Respect and honor your parents, for sure. But know that now your main allegiance is to your wife and family. God will honor you for that.

Father, help all husbands see the needs of their wives and cling to her in faith.

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Bible, Body, Family, Husbands, Scripture, Wives

ONE BODY

EPHESIANS 5:30

“because we are parts of His body.”

Have you ever been part of a group or club that was real close? I have had the privilege to have been parts of a couple of groups like that. One was a men’s Bible study group called “Bubba Land.” This group started out for men who loved the outdoors (hunting, fishing, hiking, etc). The name “Bubba” just kind of described this bunch of guys. But man, did we love each other! I could have called any one of those guys at any time for anything and they would have come running. Now that I live in Knoxville, I can’t be a part of that group anymore. Miss those guys!

The NASB translation leaves out part of the Greek text. Literally it reads, “for members we are of His body, of His flesh and of His bones.” That’s pretty descriptive. Of course, Paul is continuing to give the analogy of a husband and wife comparing them to Christ and the church. In Genesis 2:23 we hear Adam exclaim, “‘At last this is bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; She shall be called “woman,” because she was taken out of man.’”

APPLICATION

We are called the “body of Christ” throughout the New Testament. 1 Corinthians 12:27 says, “Now you are Christ’s body, and individually parts of it.” In Romans 12:4-5, Paul says this right before he starts talking about spiritual gifts. “4 For just as we have many parts in one body and all the body’s parts do not have the same function, 5 so we, who are many, are one body in Christ, and individually parts of one another.” Yes, we are separate, but we make a whole.

In the same way, when a husband and wife come together in marriage, they cease to be separate entities. They are now one. Doesn’t it say a man should leave his parents and cleave to his wife? His body belongs to her, and her body belongs to him. They are physically, emotionally and spiritually joined together as one. How beautiful is that?

Unfortunately, our society gives us too much freedom to just walk away from our union with our spouse. We “fall out of love.” We “grow apart.” No, no, no! We are bound together. We have responsibilities for each other. Don’t let the world tell you how to love your husband or your wife. Go to God. He has the answers. You are one.

Thank You, Lord, for joining me with my wife and giving us a life together.

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Bible, Cherish, Husbands, Nourish, Scripture, Wives

CHERISHING

EPHESIANS 5:29

“for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church,”

I love to eat a good meal. My wife and I found a great Mexican restaurant here in Knoxville recently. (If you want the name of it, let me know, lol) Nourishing our bodies is why we eat, right? We also like to wear nice things. We want to look good when people see us. I don’t mean we have to have expensive things – just nice enough to look good.

In today’s verse Paul continues with the commands to the husband in regard to his wife. Many scholars believe Paul is referencing the commands echoed in Exodus 21:10. “If he takes to himself another woman, he may not reduce her food, her clothing, or her conjugal rights.” Paul is not saying men should take multiple wives, but he is saying that he should nourish (not reduce her food) and cherish her (provide clothing). Men have a responsibility to provide for his wives need, just as much as he provides for his own needs.

APPLICATION

The Greek word used here for “nourishes” is ektrephó which means to feed properly or bring to maturity. Paul uses the same word later in this letter to the Ephesians in Ephesians 6:4. “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” These are the only two times this word is used. Paul is not saying husbands should treat their wives as children. Instead, he is saying husbands need to help bring their wives to a spiritual maturity.

When Paul tells husbands to cherish their wives, he uses the Greek word thalpó. HELPS Word studies defines this word this way. “to keep warm; (figuratively) “warm someone up” (= revive their health) by nourishing and nurturing.” What husband doesn’t want to keep their wife warm? That is done by providing clothing and a home. And what wife doesn’t want that?

Husbands, if you are reading this, take this command seriously. Your wife needs this, and you need to do it. Nourish her! Cherish her! Remember, you are doing this in response to Christ’s love for you. And wives, whether your husband is obedient to do this or not, remember you are cherished by your Lord. He knows you and loves you.

Father, lead all husbands to nourish and cherish their wives as Christ does toward the church.

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Bible, Husbands, Love, Scripture, Wives

LOVE THYSELF

EPHESIANS 5:28

“So husbands also ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself;”

Getting old ain’t for sissies, or so I’ve been told. With age comes the struggle to keep weight off. Exercise seems harder. I really try to stay somewhat fit, but boy it’s a struggle. My wife says I like bread too much. True! And I pay for it on the scales. But I want to take care of this old body as much as I can so I can be of use for kingdom work.

In today’s verse, Paul compares the love a husband has for his own body to how much he loves his wife. Barnes puts it so well in his commentary on this verse. He says, “by this, he really promotes his own welfare, as much as he does when he takes care of his own body. A man’s kindness to his wife will be more than repaid by the happiness which she imparts; and all the real solicitude which he shows to make her happy, will come to more than it costs. If a man wishes to promote his own happiness in the most effectual way, he had better begin by showing kindness to his wife.”

APPLICATION

The Greek word for “ought” is ophello which “refers to being morally obligated (or legally required) to meet an obligation, i.e. to pay off a legitimate debt.” (HELPS Word studies.) I owe it to myself to love my wife as much as I love myself. By doing that, I am also caring for myself. You may have heard the expression “Happy Wife, Happy Life.” Well, that’s true, isn’t it?

You may be thinking, I don’t love myself very well, Carl. How will that affect loving my wife? That is a very good question. You need to know who you are in Christ. You need to love yourself. If you don’t, you are likely to take that out on your wife by not loving her well. You don’t have to be cocky and snobby about it. Just be secure in who you are in Christ.

I jokingly say most mornings that I got better looking during the night. Of course, I am usually corrected rather quickly by whoever hears me say that. But I do love myself. I love being able to love my wife well. Do I do that perfectly? Of course not. Most days I fall way short of doing that. But my heart every day is to show her the love of Christ. So, man up, big boy! Love your wife well.

Father, help me to love my wife more than I love myself. Help me show her Jesus every day.

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