Category Archives: Relationships

Bible, Commitment, Disciplemaking, Encouragement, God's Will, Gospel, Modeling, Pastors, Prayer, Relationships, Scripture, Service

NO CHARGE

3 JOHN 7

“For they went out for the sake of the Name, accepting nothing from the Gentiles.”

One of my joys in life has been going to teach national Pastors and church leaders in Uganda and Kenya. I had been making that trip every year since 2013 until health reasons and then covid stopped those trips in the Fall of 2019. I can’t wait to go back. But one thing I have never done is ask those to whom I am going to teach to support me financially. I go without cost to them.

That is what John is talking about in verse 7. Those brethren Gaius is assisting were going to share the Gospel with the Gentiles. They did not want to receive anything from the Gentiles so that they would not be seen as trying to profit off of them. Now, a teacher of the Word is worthy of “double honor” according to 1 Timothy 5:17, but they never want to be seen as financially motivated to teach.

APPLICATION

So how do we apply this verse to us today? Well, in one sense John is telling us to be aware of whom we can help go teach the lost. We can help send them on their way as they raise support. We can continue to support them once they get there. The one thing that can stop a missionary’s work quickly is the lack of funds. I wish I had the financial means to support all the missionaries I know.

We can also pray for those who will be hearing the Gospel from these missionaries. We need to pray for fertile soil. We need to pray for receptive hearts. Missionaries need to see fruit from their labors. That encourages them in their journey. We may not be able to go help them in their work there, but we can sure pray for those to whom they are ministering. If possible, get names from the missionary of people they are witnessing to. That would be a great way for our children to learn how to pray for missionaries and their work.

Make a list of missionaries you know and get them to send you a list of names of people you can pray for. Keep that list updated and celebrate with your family when someone you have been praying for comes to Christ. And I believe that will happen. God honors our prayers, and nothing thrills His heart more than to see one of His children return to Him. He wants to answer those prayers.

Father, I lift up all the missionaries who are faithfully serving today. Encourage them with a harvest of souls.  

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Bible, Child Raising, Child Rearing, Disciplemaking, Encouragement, Following, Giving, Inspirational, Kindness, Mentoring, Modeling, Parenting, Relationships, Scripture, Service, Testimony, Witnessing

YOU’VE DONE GOOD

3 JOHN 5

“Beloved, you are acting faithfully in whatever you accomplish for the brethren, and especially when they are strangers;”

I have been an employee and an employer a long time. As an employee I love being told I am doing a good job. It’s nice to know others appreciate the work you do. As an employer and supervisor, I also know the importance of telling your employees they are appreciated. You can just see their faces beam when you tell them “Well done.”

John is telling Gaius the same thing. He is so proud of how Gaius is serving the brethren and not just those he knows well. He is even faithful serving strangers. The word “accomplish” here actually means “to work for.” Gaius was actively serving the brethren. He wasn’t just sending others. He was doing it himself.

APPLICATION

Have you helped your children serve others? There are all kinds of ways to show them how to directly serve someone. It’s one thing to put a few dollars in the offering plate on Sundays or to give toward a mission cause. But to put their hands into directly serving someone can cause a lifetime change.

How about taking them down to serve at the homeless shelter serving a meal? You can get them to go down the street and rake leaves for an elderly neighbor. The point is getting their hands dirty, experiencing a hands-on service project. And make sure they see the response of those they are helping. And when you get home, talk about how they felt doing this. Tell them how proud you are of them. Then read them this verse.

When is the last time you got your hands dirty? Don’t you want others to say “well done” to you? We all want that, but don’t do it for that. Do it to please the Lord. Let Him be the one to tell you “well done.” And as you are serving others, pray for the opportunity to share Jesus with them. You may be serving another believer who just needs encouraging. You may be serving someone who needs Jesus as their Savior. Just be obedient, like Gaius.

Help me Lord serve others You place in my path. I am not afraid to get my hands dirty for You.

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Accountability, Advice, Bible, Child Raising, Child Rearing, Choices, Commitment, Disciplemaking, Encouragement, Faith, Following, Inspirational, Joy, Mentoring, Parenting, Prayer, Relationships, Salvation, Scripture, Testimony

A PARENT’S JOY

3 JOHN 4

“I have no greater joy than this, to hear of my children walking in the truth.”

I have been in ministry over forty years. That’s a long time. Sometimes I feel like Moses – herding sheep for forty years or wandering in the wilderness for forty years. But sometimes I hear from someone I had the privilege to lead to the Lord, and they tell me how they are still walking with Jesus. That brings me such joy. It really warms my heart.

John was expressing the exact same feeling. He was thrilled to hear about Gaius. It is obvious from this verse that John had played some part in Gaius’ salvation experience. We don’t know exactly where or when that was, but John was a spiritual father to Gaius. As a father to Gaius, John longed to see him grow spiritually. Nothing thrilled his heart more.

APPLICATION

If you have not experienced this joy as a parent, I pray you will. Watching our children come to Christ is awesome. Praying with them to receive Christ is stupendous. But watching them walk with Christ daily thrills your soul. This is especially true as they get older and start making more and more of their own decisions. Watching them choose Christ makes all the bedtime prayer rituals worth it.

One big question we face as parents as our children get older is how do we continue to influence them spiritually. How do we help them in their walk? Our role changes from caregiver to coach to cheerleader to consultant. In this last stage we have to wait for them to come to us for advice. Advice not asked for is seldom followed. Continue to pray and be ready when asked.

Do you have a “child in the faith” whom you are praying for? Is there someone you are watching walk with Jesus whom thrills your soul? I pray you are investing in others daily. I pray you are encouraging them. I promise as you encourage them, you will be encouraged. Be obedient to Jesus as you follow His example to disciple others.

Oh Lord, nothing thrills me more than to see my children walk with You. Help me encourage them daily as they trust You.

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Accountability, Bible, Child Raising, Child Rearing, Direction, Encouragement, Faithfulness, Following, Mentoring, Parenting, Relationships, Scripture, Testimony

YOUR TESTIMONY

3 JOHN 3

“For I was very glad when brethren came and testified to your truth, that is, how you are walking in truth.”

Years ago I used to do some consulting with other children’s homes in the area of accreditation. During those years, accreditation was getting more and more attention, and many states were starting to require it from licensed facilities. My reputation as a consultant began to be known, and I was contacted by a lot of agencies that were unknown to me. Others had talked about me which led to new contacts for me. Your reputation matters.

John is telling Gaius that very thing. Other brethren had come to John and told him how awesome Gaius was representing Christ. He was walking in truth. Now listen, that was not always easy, especially for a first century Christian. Persecution was real. However, Gaius was standing for truth. What a testimony! Don’t you know John was proud to be known as his friend.

APPLICATION

Our children need to learn early that their reputation, their testimony matters. It takes years to earn a good reputation, but one stupid mistake can erase all of that. No one is perfect. We all make mistakes. I am not talking about making mistakes. I am talking about deliberately choosing evil over good. I am talking about walking down the wrong path, knowing you have taken the wrong path.

So, how do they keep their testimony pure and pointing others toward Christ? By relying solely on Him daily. By surrounding themselves with godly friends who will help them in their walk. By reading God’s Word daily and making application of it in their lives. By spending time in prayer daily. You see, all of these things point them to Jesus and away from the world. Taking their eyes off of Jesus will only cause them to stumble.

How is your testimony? If those brethren had visited you and gone back to John to report on you, what would they have said? Hmmm. I pray they would have given the same report they gave about Gaius. Are you walking in truth today? Follow Jesus and truth is your path.

Truth is my goal each day, Father. I want to be known as someone who walks in truth.

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Advice, Affection, Bible, Child Raising, Child Rearing, Elders, Encouragement, Friends, Mentoring, Parenting, Relationships, Scripture, Truth

YOUR NAME IS KNOWN

3 JOHN 1

“The elder to the beloved Gaius, whom I love in truth.”

I have a lot of friends. I say that, not to brag, but to make a point. A lot of people know me by my name. If my name is mentioned to them, they can say they know me. If they see my name in the paper, they would recognize it. In other words, a lot of people truly know me. I am glad for that and try to make a good impression.

I bet you Gaius never thought that his name would be known by people in 2021. We really don’t know who this Gaius was. There are three men named Gaius mentioned in the Scriptures (Acts 19:29, Acts 20:4 and Romans 16:23/1 Corinthians 1:15). It could possibly be the Gaius mentioned in Acts 20:4. Who he was isn’t as important as that he was. He was a kind Christian friend of John. That we know.

APPLICATION

Ask your child how they want to be known. Do they want others to remember them? For what should they be known? Our kids might want to be known for their athletic prowess. Perhaps they want to be known for their good grades. Most everyone wants to be known by others for something. No one wants to be forgettable.

However, we should be teaching our children to be known for their loyalty and commitment to Christ. In this day and age, that will really stand out. Even in Christian circles that will stand out. If our children are known for standing for Christ, people will remember their name. After all, we don’t want them to be known for who they are. Jesus will give them a whole new idea behind being known. Let Jesus show them the correct way to be known.

Are you concerned about being known? Gaius wasn’t. He was only doing what Christ told him. He was being a true friend to John. We see that in today’s verse. John loved him. That speaks volumes. Will you allow the Lord to use you today to be a true friend to someone? You never know who may remember you.

Father, I pray for opportunities to come alongside others for the cause of Christ. Let me be a Gaius to a John today.

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Affection, Bible, Encouragement, Friends, Greetings, Joy, Relationships, Scripture

CAN’T WAIT TO SEE YOU

2 JOHN 12

“Though I have many things to write to you, I do not want to do so with paper and ink; but I hope to come to you and speak face to face, so that your joy may be made full.”

In this day of texts and emails, we communicate a lot. I remember back when the only way to communicate in writing was by a letter or postcard. But there is still nothing like seeing someone face to face. Words just can’t express our feelings. Even using FaceTime or Zoom isn’t the same. You can’t reach out and touch the person.

John is obviously having those same feelings. He may have had plenty of paper and ink, but he wanted to see his dear friend. He had so much more to tell her and her family. I wonder what that was. I wonder if he had the chance to see her. We won’t know the answer to that question until eternity. I guarantee you one thing. They have eternity to catch up, lol.

APPLICATION

You are probably thinking Carl, how do you apply this verse to me today? Well, who do you need to catch up with? Who have you not seen in a long time? It’s the new year. Perhaps there is someone who has been on your heart for the past few months whom you have just neglected to go see. Do it. Give them a call and say you are coming to see them because you have so much to tell them.

Have you ever watched people at a family reunion? Usually, these are times when family who haven’t been around each other much gather to spend some much desired time. And what do they talk about? Everything under the sun! Let me encourage you to share what the Lord has done and is doing in your life. Let others know how you have been blessed. That is certainly something worth sharing.

I am certain that John was not anxious to talk about the weather. He had lessons from the Lord to share. He wanted to impart truth. Why? He tells us in the last phrase of the verse. “so that your joy may be made full.” Some scholars say the word “your” should be translated “our.” Even better. How about doing that today. Make yours and someone else’s joy full.

I long for others to hear the truth of the Gospel and what You are doing in my life. Give me the opportunity today to share with someone else and make our joy full.

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Accountability, Advice, Bible, Child Raising, Child Rearing, Commands, Courage, Deceit, Deception, Disciplemaking, Encouragement, Following, Mentoring, Parenting, Relationships, Scripture, Testimony

BY INVITATION ONLY

2 JOHN 10

“If anyone comes to you and does not bring this teaching, do not receive him into your house, and do not give him a greeting;”

I have, on occasion, received invitations to exclusive events. These events had limited seating and only certain people were invited to attend. Those decisions to limit the number of people may have been due to the venue size or the budget of the event. Whatever the reason, I always feel honored to be invited.

However, John is talking about something we should do to limit our audience. He is basically telling us to not invite anyone into our home who does not agree with God’s teachings. Wow! I thought we were supposed to reach out to the lost. We are. John is guarding us against false teachers. They should not be invited. Others should be so we can teach them the truth. We have to be so careful who we listen to, especially today.

APPLICATION

I pray your children invite their lost friends to your home. What better way for them to hear truth than to be welcomed into your home. Now, we should not let our children sit under anyone who teaches anything contrary to Scripture. But we should welcome any of their lost friends to hear the Gospel in our home. We want our children to be the influencer, not the influenced.

Does that make sense to you? I hope so. Don’t assume that every teacher or small group leader at church is teaching correctly either. Check them out. Make sure you have the right to sit in on a class or small group to find out. Any leader who doesn’t allow that is not open to accountability. Talk to your child’s Children’s Pastor or Student Pastor to find out who will be leading your child. It is, after all, your responsibility to disciple your child spiritually.

Have you opened yourself up to wrong teaching? Sometimes we do that without knowing. We hear about this great Bible Study available on dvd or online, so we dig into it. Always check out any study before you begin. Check out the author. Check out the publisher. And as you start the study, be aware of any inconsistencies with Scripture. As John says, “Do not give him a greeting.”

O Lord, keep my eyes open to falsehood. I want to honor You in all my relationships. Guard my heart.

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Affection, Bible, Child Raising, Child Rearing, Encouragement, Friends, Inspirational, Kindness, Mentoring, Parenting, Relationships, Scripture, Trust, Truth

WHO IS THIS LADY?

2 JOHN 1

“The elder to the chosen lady and her children, whom I love in truth; and not only I, but also all who know the truth,”

There are a lot of speculations about who this lady is John is writing this letter to. No one really knows, but it is pretty much agreed that this was someone John knew well. He calls her “chosen lady” and someone “whom I love in truth.” You don’t talk about someone like that unless you know them well and care for them.

Wouldn’t it be great to have a letter addressed to you like that? I wonder what she had done for John to care so much. Let me ask you a question. Can someone write these words about you? Truth seems to be an important word in this relationship. Are you truthful? Are you trustworthy? Good questions, huh?

APPLICATION

Why don’t you get your children to write a letter to someone they really care about? Help them choose some descriptive words for the person they are writing. And I bet the person they write would like a picture that shows their relationship. Getting a letter like that would be special.

Now, just like John, the words need to be truthful. You don’t want them to just say nice things to say nice things. Whomever they are writing will appreciate knowing those words are true. And I bet when they get that letter they will write back or call your child to thank them. What a lesson that will be for your child!

Truth! It’s what our relationship with Christ is all about. It’s also what builds our relationships with others. I have heard said that trust is the glue that holds relationships together. Well, that trust is founded upon truth. Live that way.

I want to be known as a trustworthy person, Lord. Let me reflect Your truth so it will flow out of me.

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Advice, Asking, Bible, Child Raising, Child Rearing, Confidence, Disciplemaking, Encouragement, Faith, God's Will, Inspirational, Mentoring, Parenting, Prayer, Promises, Relationships, Scripture

ASK WITH CONFIDENCE

1 JOHN 5:14 

“This is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.” 

I remember a few times in my life when I asked for a raise. Have you ever done that? It can be a scary thing, can’t it? You’re not sure how your boss is going to take it. He may get mad or irritated by you for asking. Or he may grant your request. I have found that if you ask with confidence and boldness, you are more than likely going to get some kind of raise. 

I love that John uses the word “confidence” here in reference to prayer. That is the same word that the writer of Hebrews uses in Hebrews 4:16 referring to how we approach the throne of God in prayer. We do it with boldness because of whose we are in Christ. John tells us something similar in John 14:6. “Until now you have not asked for anything in My name. Ask and you will receive and your joy will be complete.” Ask! 

APPLICATION 

Most children don’t have a problem asking for things, do they? They may bug you and bug you about something until you finally give in and get it for them. I am not talking about that. We need to teach our children how to ask with boldness, with confidence. That word “confidence” means to speak out with resolve, with sureness. That’s how we want our children to ask, not timidly and fearful. 

But what do they need to ask for? Simple. John tells us. “Anything according to His will.” If we teach our children to ask the Lord to bless them according to His will, the Lord is quick to answer. He wants His will done in our lives. He wants to see us walking with Him. He is pleased when we ask for His will to be done. Teach your children that way of asking. 

Maybe you are stuck in the old pattern of asking what pleases yourself. You are wondering why God won’t answer your prayers. Well, that’s simple, too. God is trying to direct you towards His will. He could answer your prayers the way you ask, but you would not like the results. God knows best. Ask with confidence but ask according to His will. Then watch what happens. It will amaze you. 

I come before You to ask You to give me the wisdom to walk in Your light. I want to live in such a way that others are drawn to You.  

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Abiding, Bible, Child Raising, Child Rearing, Choices, Christianity, Confession, Disciplemaking, Encouragement, Faithfulness, Life, Mentoring, Modeling, Parenting, Relationships, Rescue, Salvation, Scripture, Surrender

HIS SON

1 JOHN 5:12

“He who has the Son has the life; he who does not have the Son of God does not have the life.”

It’s neat this verse fell on today’s date because this is my son’s birthday. He’s thirty-four today. That’s interesting to me because that falls right in the middle of the ages of Christ’s ministry on earth (@32-36) to the best of our knowledge. When I think of my son at his age leading a bunch of disciples around, it kind of blows my mind. Jesus was a young man. Yes, He was and still is God, but humanly speaking He was young.

Yet, here we are, two thousand years later, looking back at this God-Man for guidance. John says here if we “have Him” we have life, and if we don’t have Him, we don’t have life. That’s so true. Think back to your days without Christ. Life was so meaningless. It had no purpose. It had no direction. I don’t care how old you were before Christ, you had no life without Him.

APPLICATION

Our children need to learn this early in life. I know you are praying they give their lives to Christ, if they haven’t already. But they need to learn what it means to surrender completely. It’s not just saying a prayer. It’s total surrender of everything to Him. That involves how they talk, how they play and how they think. Oh, that last one is hard, isn’t it? Even we adults struggle with that one.

So, how do we direct our children to do this? How do we help them learn the importance of total surrender? By modeling it ourselves. Don’t you get tired of hearing that? Sorry, but it’s true. We have to show them how to surrender. We have to exemplify total surrender ourselves in the way we talk, the way we treat people and the way we think. No, our kids can’t read out minds, but they sure can see our behaviors.

Is the Son in your life? If so, live like it. It’s the Christmas season. Act like it. Live like every day could be your last day to share Jesus with someone. Live like He is all that matters. After all, He is all that matters. When you surrender to His Will, His life becomes your life. Try that today.

I have life only because of His life, Father. Thank You for giving Him to the world. We must show others the value of living in Him.

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