Category Archives: Parenting

Bible, Children, Honor, Obedience, Parenting, Scripture

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO HONOR?

EPHESIANS 6:2

“HONOR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER (which is the first commandment with a promise),”

I have to say I had some pretty good parents. They weren’t perfect but who is. They raised four children who all grew up to be pretty responsible adults. I can’t think of a reason why I would not have honored my parents. I didn’t always agree with them, and I sure didn’t like some of their rules, but I feel like I honored them pretty well.

In yesterday’s blog, I began discussing Paul’s address to the children. Let’s talk a little about this “honor” word, though. The Hebrew word which is what Paul is quoting here, is kabad or kabed. It has a lot of definitions ranging from heavy, weighty, burdensome or honorable. Context tells us how it is being used. And here it means to show honor. In other words, to obey. It is not a complicated command, is it? Simple – just honor.

APPLICATION

But Carl, what do you do if your parents aren’t honorable? What if they are abusive or tell you to do things that are wrong? God does not expect children to honor such individuals. He would never tell you to submit to that kind of treatment. God is our protector and defender. I know, I know, children still get abused by parents. It breaks my heart, and I don’t understand it. I think hell will have a hotter corner for those who abuse innocent children.

When the command is mentioned again in Deuteronomy 5:16, it is expanded upon. “‘Honor your father and your mother, just as the LORD your God has commanded you, so that your days may be prolonged and that it may go well for you on the land which the LORD your God is giving you.’” We have a specific promised blessing for honoring our parents. God will bless us with a long life and prosperity in the land.

I don’t know your circumstance, but everyone of us reading this blog is a child of someone. Perhaps your abusive parent is still alive. You are grown now and are safe. How do you honor them now or do you? Ask the Lord. He will tell you what to do. Perhaps He will use you to draw them to a saving knowledge of Jesus. Just remember – God loves you and desires your obedience in all things.

Father, for some it is hard to show honor to their parents. Protect their hearts and show them how to obey Your command.

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Bible, Children, Disobedience, Grandchildren, Obedience, Parenting, Scripture

OBEDIENT CHILDREN

EPHESIANS 6:1

“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.”

What parent doesn’t want obedient children?! Can I get an Amen? Lol. Of course, we want children to obey us, but why? Well, there are just supposed to, Carl. Children should be seen but not heard. Yeah, right! Do you really believe that? I didn’t think so. Children are gift from the Lord. We are so blessed to have them in our lives. Isn’t it great that the Lord gives us so much instruction about them and for them?

After spending the last several verses discussing husbands and wives, he turns to the children. Now, as far as we know, Paul didn’t have any children. But remember, he is simply passing along the Lord’s words through the Holy Spirit. He says in today’s verse that children should obey their parents because it is right. We’ll look back at the Law in a bit and look at that command God gave Moses. This letter would have probably been read aloud in the Ephesian church, so the children who were present would have sat up and listened when they heard they were being addressed specifically.

APPLICATION

We all know the ten commandments, don’t we? The fifth commandment is the one addressed to children. Exodus 20:12 says, “‘Honor your father and your mother, so that your days may be prolonged on the land which the LORD your God gives you.’” It is the only commandment with a promise. I think that is pretty cool, don’t you? God specifically talks to the children here in Exodus.

I can remember going away on business trips when my kids were little. I bet you can guess what I told them, can’t you? I would say, “Now, you mind your mother and no fighting.” They were usually pretty good, but occasionally I would come home to a very frustrated wife due to their behavior. Our children weren’t always perfect little angels.

Chances are there are not any children reading my blog right now. So, you parents and grandparents need to share this with the kids. Remind them that God expects obedience. A child that won’t obey their parents won’t obey God either. That is our goal as parents – to raise children who love and obey God. Why? So they will raise obedient children (our grandchildren). That’s our payoff, lol.

Father I need to be Your obedient child every day as well.

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Abiding, Bible, Children, Family, Father, Intimacy, Parenting, Relationships, Scripture

DADDY!

GALATIANS 4:6

“Because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, crying out, ‘Abba! Father!’”

Oh, the joy that feels my heart when I hear my children say, “Daddy.” They don’t say it as much anymore. It’s been shortened to “Dad” now. My daughter will still call me daddy sometimes, but only when she wants something. (Just kidding, Casey) There was just something about hearing them holler “Daddy” when I would come home from work or a trip. It thrilled my heart.

Paul uses the Aramaic word, Abba, here in today’s verse. I was surprised to see that this word is only used two other times in the NT and only 9 times in the OT (2 in Ezra and 7 in Daniel). In Mark 14:36, Jesus uses it as He prays in the garden on the night before His crucifixion. Paul uses it in Romans 8:15 in a similar way he uses it here in Galatians. The word Abba means father but in a more tender way. Some translations use the word “daddy.” I like that.

APPLICATION

Can you just picture it? Jesus, kneeling in the garden, praying earnestly to His Father in heaven. And in the most intimate of ways, He calls Him daddy. I am not trying to be irreverent. Quite the contrary. By showing Jesus’ intimacy with the Father, we see His human side. In the same way, we can call our Father in heaven daddy. Abba Father.

As I mentioned, Paul uses this same word in Romans 8:15. “For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons and daughters by which we cry out, ‘Abba! Father!’” We have been given the right as His children to call Him daddy.

As I picture this word “daddy,” I see the image of a child crawling up into their father’s lap, snuggling up under his chin. Maybe the daddy is reading to them or maybe the daddy is just listening to his child. Whatever the conversation is, be sure it is two-sided. In the same way, our talks with our “daddy” in heaven is two-sided. Let’s talk and also listen. He has much to say.

Abba, Father, I praise You. I truly want to be close enough to hear Your voice when you speak my name.

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Abiding, Affection, Bible, Child Raising, Choices, Disciplemaking, Encouragement, Following, Obedience, Parenting, Protection, Scripture

FIRST STEPS

HOSEA 11:3

“Yet it is I who taught Ephraim to walk, I took them in My arms; but they did not know that I healed them.”

I can’t remember my first steps as a baby. Why would I? I mean, I was pretty young, right? But I do remember my children’s first steps. We spent weeks helping them stand up and then watched them “cruise” around furniture. Then that day arrived when they took those first steps. How proud we were as parents! First steps are a milestone.

Jehovah helped Israel walk. He guided them by His strong hand. He held them up when they toppled. He led them along a safe path, only to have them jerk away and start walking in their own direction. How painful that must have been for our God to see His beloved children walk away.

APPLICATION

Sadly, we do the same thing. Think about your own walk. When you came to Christ, He was the one who led you on your first steps. He pointed you toward the direction He would have you walk. He held you up when you stumbled and fell. He picked you up and dusted you off. He was always there.

But we get comfortable in our walk and don’t think we need Him anymore. We see a path that looks better than the path He has for us. We explore new walkways and leave the safety of Jesus’ path behind. And what happens? Almost every time, we fall. We trip. We are attacked by our enemies. All we have to do is remain on the sure path, but we want to walk our way.

The older I get the less I want to wander. I like the assurance of Jesus holding my hand. I don’t want to jerk away and go my way. I have learned His way may not be as “glamorous,” but it is trustworthy. I know He will never lead me wrong. So, why would I ever want to “explore” another path? Never!

Lord, I praise You for holding my hand as I took my first steps with You. But You kept holding it. You kept leading me.

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Belief, Bible, Child Raising, Disciplemaking, Evangelism, God's Will, Gospel, Grandchildren, Mentoring, Parenting, Praise, Redemption, Salvation, Scripture, Witnessing

LOST CHILDREN

HOSEA 9:12

“Though they bring up their children, yet I will bereave them of their children until not a person is left. Yes, woe to them indeed when I depart from them!”

My wife and I have a little girl in heaven. Cathleen Marie only lived six hours. She was born and died on September 11, 1987. There’s not much more sorrowful than to lose a child. The pain can seem intolerable. You feel deserted. You feel hollow. Praise God, we knew Him then to get us through that dark valley.

The people of Israel were going to experience that pain. Their children would be taken away from them. Some of them would be killed by their invaders. Others would be carried off into exile as slaves, separated from their parents. All of this because of the nation’s disobedience and betrayal to their Lord.

APPLICATION

No one wants to lose a child, physically or spiritually. Our main job as parents is to lead our child to Christ and then disciple them to walk with Him. All our efforts in child raising should point to that. Do you agree? Anything else is really superfluous. You are not always going to be around, so they need to know how to live in this world.

Perhaps your children are grown. Do You have grandchildren? How about kids in your church or neighborhood? Whatever your situation, you have an opportunity to invest in the lives of children. While they are young we have the chance to teach them the Word of God and how to apply that to their lives.

I don’t want to see a child lost to this world. I will do all I can to point them to Jesus. Nothing gives me more joy than to see a little one give their heart and lives to Him. How about you? Will you join me in reaching out to the children in your circle of influence? Talk to their parents. Talk to the children. Share Jesus with them today.Father, I love to tell the story to everyone, but especially children. Lord, allow me to see Your children come to You.

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Affection, Bible, Child Raising, Child Rearing, Friends, Greetings, Mentoring, Parenting, Relationships, Scripture

NEED A HUG?

3 JOHN 15

“Peace be to you. The friends greet you. Greet the friends by name.”

I’m a hugger. One of the hardest things about dealing with the covid-19 virus is not being able to hug people. There is just something about getting or giving a hug to someone, especially someone you haven’t seen in a long time. It’s more than just a hello. If you’re a hugger, I don’t have to explain.

The word “greet” used in today’s verse means to “enfold in one’s arms.” I bet John couldn’t wait to give Gaius a hug. Of course, that is just speculation. However, John knew to greet each other was more than just to say “hi.” I think we can learn from that, can’t we?

APPLICATION

One great skill to teach your children is how to greet someone. We all know our children go through shy periods. That can be cute, but they can’t remain like that, can they? My dad taught me to look someone right in the eye, stick out my hand and give a firm handshake. Greeting someone warmly and politely goes a long way.

Greeting someone in Christ’s name is even more important. How do we teach our kids that? By simply showing love and a smile. Sounds easy, huh? Well, it is if we teach them to let Jesus greet them. What? Yea! Teach your children to see everyone in the same way He does. That way they will greet them in love.

Who do you know that needs a hug? Why don’t you give them a “greeting”? Embrace them in your arms. Wrap your arms around them (if they’ll let you). In this time we are in people need a good greeting. Do it today.

I am so thankful You greeted me, Lord. You took me in Your warm embrace and welcomed me into Your family.

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Advice, Affection, Bible, Child Raising, Child Rearing, Encouragement, Fellowship, Friends, Greetings, Hugs, Listening, Modeling, Parenting, Relationships, Scripture

MOUTH TO MOUTH

3 JOHN 14

“but I hope to see you shortly, and we will speak face to face.”

Now, when you read the title for today’s blog you may think I am going to talk about kissing. Nope! I didn’t have that in mind at all. I am just translating the last phrase of the verse literally. John could have said “we will speak mouth to mouth.” I agree “face to face” sounds better, lol.  In this day we are in right now, though, we are missing that. The masks we are having to wear block that, don’t they?

I wonder what John needed to tell Gaius. We don’t know. But if you will read the entire letter of 3 John, you can pretty well guess. John would have words of encouragement for him. He would have probably hugged him, kissed him on each cheek and sat down for a great meal together. They would have fellowshipped for hours. Hmmm, I wonder if that phrase “mouth to mouth” hinted at a potluck dinner, lol.

APPLICATION

During these days of covid-19 don’t let your children forget what you look like behind these masks. That may sound funny to say, but I have been concerned about our younger children especially spending this past year staring at people with masks on. Facial expressions are important. Just think about how you communicate with small children using them. I am not advocating being unsafe or spreading the virus. I am just saying let your kids see your face.

Explain to your children the importance of face-to-face communication. Explain to them the importance of being able to see someone’s face to communicate. You don’t know behind a mask if someone is smiling or frowning. You don’t know if they are sticking their tongue out at you or not. There’s a reason John wanted that face to face or mouth to mouth visit with Gaius.

Who do you want to go see “mouth to mouth”? I hope there is someone on your list. When you see them, talk about Jesus. Take off that mask safely and express yourself. Let them see your smile. Communicate fully. Love them with your face. That sounded kind of weird, didn’t it, but I think you get my drift.

Thank You, Lord, for meeting me face to face. I long one day to see You in heaven and behold Your glorious face and see Your smile.

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Accountability, Advice, Advocate, Bible, Child Raising, Child Rearing, Disciplemaking, Encouragement, Friends, Inspirational, Kindness, Love, Mentoring, Modeling, Parenting, Relationships, Reputation, Scripture, Testimony

ANOTHER BROTHER

3 JOHN 12

“Demetrius has received a good testimony from everyone, and from the truth itself; and we add our testimony, and you know that our testimony is true.”

Do you have people in your life you can trust? I mean people whom you can tell anything and know they will hold that in confidence. We all need those kinds of people in our circle. I don’t care how grounded you are in the Word, there are times when we just need to talk about stuff. I have a couple of guys like that. They could be my Demetrius.

John mentions Demetrius and really brags on him. Now understand something. John could only brag on him because he was proven. John says he had a good testimony. Actually, John says he “has received” a good testimony. That verb is in the Perfect tense which means it happened with lasting results. Demetrius’ testimony was proven. And it was based on “the truth itself.” John really believed in him.

APPLICATION

Our children need to build reputations like that. Those don’t come quickly and can be lost so easily. We can help our children build those kinds of testimonies by holding them accountable and teaching them the truth. Their word needs to be trustworthy. Their actions need to be honorable. When we continue to point them to the Word, they learn to incorporate that into their lives.

When our children mess up, and they will, we point them back to the Word. We make sure they apologize and make things right if necessary. We model this behavior in front of them when we have wronged someone. We show them examples from Scripture of individuals who messed up but made things right with God.

Are you a Demetrius to someone? Do you have a Demetrius in your life? Wouldn’t that be great? Demetrius (at least this Demetrius) is only mentioned right here in the New Testament. But his name was important enough for John to put in this letter to Gaius. His name has been read through the centuries by millions of believers probably without a second thought. Think about him today and thank God for his testimony to John, Gaius and others.

Father, help me be a Demetrius to others. Let my testimony point to Jesus in all I do.

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Accountability, Advice, Battles, Bible, Child Raising, Child Rearing, Choices, Commands, Devil, Exhortation, Imitation, Mentoring, Parenting, Satan, Scripture

IMITATION

3 JOHN 11

“Beloved, do not imitate what is evil, but what is good. The one who does good is of God; the one who does evil has not seen God.”

Some say imitation is the best flattery. To imitate someone means you want to be like them. I can’t think of anyone I would want to imitate except Jesus. Everyone else I know has flaws that would inevitably come out. No one is perfect, right? We imitate people. We have imitation products. We even imitate voices. But there is only one original.

John is telling us to focus on imitating good. That word “imitate” only appears four times in the New Testament (three positive and one negative). It is always in the Middle voice, which means you have to choose to do it. No one is going to make you do it or do it for you. So, John is saying it is our choice whether to imitate evil or good. One choice points to God and the other points to the evil one.

APPLICATION

Man, is this a message for our kids or what? Probably no other decision is going to face them more than this. They are going to be bombarded with choices like this. The evil one wants nothing more than to confuse and bring down our children. If he can get them to choose evil rather than good, he can control their lives.

So, what do we do as parents to protect them? After all, it’s their decision, their choice. We have to fill their minds with the Word of God to help ward off these attacks from the devil. There’s nothing we can say or do. But God’s Word is living and active. It’s sharper than any two-edged sword. It lives within us. If it’s in us, we can ask anything of the Lord, and He will do it for us. That’s the secret weapon.

Are you hiding the Word in your heart to protect yourself from choosing evil? Don’t think just because you are an adult that you have the power to resist the lure of the evil one. No one is immune from his charms. But you can detect and avoid those evil choices simply by staying in the Word. Dig in today. Let it point you in the right direction.

O Father, You are the only one I wish to imitate today. Point me to Your Word so I can learn more and more about You.

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Accountability, Advice, Battles, Bible, Child Raising, Child Rearing, Confrontation, Enemies, Exhortation, Modeling, Parenting, Peace, Relationships, Scripture, Testimony

CONFRONTATION

3 JOHN 10

“For this reason, if I come, I will call attention to his deeds which he does, unjustly accusing us with wicked words; and not satisfied with this, he himself does not receive the brethren, either, and he forbids those who desire to do so and puts them out of the church.”

A lot of people do not like confrontation. They will do anything to stay away from it. Others dive right in before knowing all the facts and can make matters worse. Of course, the best approach is to gather all the facts before confronting someone to make sure what you have heard is true. Your purpose for confronting is to correct a wrong and set things straight.

John had gathered his facts. He had been informed about Diotrephes’ actions against him, others and the church. With the apostolic authority he possessed, he planned to confront Diotrephes. Why? Did John just want to get him back? I don’t believe so. I believe John wanted to restore a brother. We don’t know what happened between John and Diotrephes. I guess we will find out in heaven if this was settled biblically.

APPLICATION

Children have to be taught how to settle disputes according to Scripture. That does not come naturally. Our flesh almost always wins out. How do we teach them this life skill? I can think of two ways. Let’s make that three ways. Prayer, God’s Word and modeling the behavior.

You are probably saying Okay Carl, I like the first two, but I am so tired of you telling me to model behavior. I understand, but it does no good to teach them to pray for others and search God’s Word for direction if we aren’t living that out before them. We have to show them what it looks like to confront in love. We have to be their example to follow during difficult times. That’s parenting.

Is there someone in your life whom you need to confront in love? Perhaps there is a family member who professes Christ but is not living like it. Confront them. Maybe a co-worker consistently takes the name of the Lord in vain. Confront them. Don’t be afraid. Jesus is with you and will guide you. He will give you the words to say at just the right time. Follow His lead.

It is not easy to confront others, Lord. Give me the courage to speak truth in love.

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