Category Archives: Motherhood

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CONTRARY

1 TIMOTHY 1:10

“and immoral men and homosexuals and kidnappers and liars and perjurers, and whatever else is contrary to sound teaching,” 

I am not going to get into the lifestyles of those who are mentioned in today’s verse. I do not think that is necessary. I want to pick out one word in the verse, though. Look at that word “contrary.” Have you ever known someone who was contrary? Do you even know what that means? It means someone who is against everything. They will argue with a fence post.

These kinds of people cannot be convinced with the truth because they do not believe it applies to them. Or they think they have the real truth. Paul has just listed in the past two verses those who fit into this category. They are opponents or enemies to sound teaching.

APPLICATION

Okay, then, how does this apply to our children? Easy, keep teaching them the truth. Point them constantly to God’s Word. Give them sound teaching. Only by doing this can they recognize the untruths. Only by consistently exposing them to truth will they be able to establish that baseline of truth and untruth. 

The world is going to throw enough untruths at your children. Satan does not want them to follow Jesus. He will hurl all sorts of lies at them to try to get them to believe them. You are that buffer when they are growing up. You shield them with the Gospel. You guard them with THE truth. And don’t stop just because they get saved. You have to continue to disciple and mentor them to spiritual maturity. You have a lifetime job!

But how about your spiritual maturity? Have you drunk the Kool-Aid of social tolerance? I don’t mean you can’t accept others and love them. I mean you can’t condone ungodly behavior, many of which are named in verses 9 and 10 of 1 Timothy 1. You have to decide if you are going to be contrary to sound teaching yourself.

Father, guard my heart against the lies of the devil. Reveal to me quickly anything that is contrary to your teachings. I want to live and speak truth.

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LAWBREAKERS

1 TIMOTHY 1:9

“realizing the fact that law is not made for a righteous person, but for those who are lawless and rebellious, for the ungodly and sinners, for the unholy and profane, for those who kill their fathers or mothers, for murderers” 

I have noticed something about people who don’t like rules. They are usually the ones who break them. People who don’t like the law are normally lawbreakers. People who hate law enforcement officers are the ones who are repeatedly arrested for breaking the law. Hmm, there seems to be a pattern here.

That is exactly what Paul is saying here. The law isn’t an issue for the righteous. If we are living righteously, we have no problem with the law. If we are living righteously, we follow a higher law. But if we are lawless and rebellious, we constantly struggle against the law because it reminds us and convicts us of sin.

APPLICATION

Try an experiment in your house. Abolish all rules for a week. Anything goes. No chores have to be done. No bedtimes. No rules about what and when you eat your meals. See what happens. It won’t take long for your children to start following rules that no longer exist. It sounds like freedom to have no rules, but it actually is much more confusing and tiring.

After this experiment (if you dare), ask your children what they liked or disliked about it. Take notes. You will want to refer back to them a few weeks when they begin to complain about the rules again, lol.  And take the opportunity to explain that rules (law) are not meant to punish us. Rules are meant to guide us. Encourage your little Gertrude to obey because of her desire to please God, not you.

Which “laws” are you breaking? Are you fearful of being caught? Hiding your lawbreaking can be exhausting. Why don’t you confess that as sin today and allow the Lord to give you a fresh start? Learn to embrace the law (rules) as it was intended. God only wants us to obey Him out of love.

Lord, forgive me for complaining about Your law. I know You give it to guide me. Let me see it as You intended.

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FOLLOW THE RULES

1 TIMOTHY 1:8

“But we know that the Law is good, if one uses it lawfully,” 

We have rules for a reason. Rules help us keep order. Rules guide us correctly. Rules can teach us the right way to do something. Rules can keep us honest. So, why do so many people break them? For some, their motto is “Rules are made to be broken.”

Paul addresses the idea of rules in today’s verse. The word “lawfully” is only used twice in the New Testament – here and in 2 Timothy 2:5. Paul had been a rule follower. Remember, he was a Pharisee, a law-abider and a law enforcer. He knew the law couldn’t save you, but it could guide you. The law pointed out sin which can lead to repentance.

APPLICATION

I don’t know many children who like rules. I used to tell my staff in the Children’s homes to have as few rules as possible in their cottages. Fewer rules made it easier for the kids to remember them. That applies to our own homes as well. Rules without relationships just don’t work.

That’s why we have to help our children understand the “why” behind the rule, not just the “what” of the rule. Get them to help make the house rules. Make sure the house rules agree with Scripture. Let them hold you accountable for the rules. If you break a house rule, they should be able to point that out to you without fear of reprisal. We ALL need to be held accountable.

But aren’t you glad that the Lord is less concerned about rules than He is about relationships? You see, we should obey the Lord’s commands because we love Him, not out of fear of being punished. Obedience out of love will always be easier than obedience out of fear. Remember, the Lord gives us rules for a reason. He wants to keep us safe and teach us to be more like Him – the Law Giver.

I am thankful for Your Law, O Lord. Let me follow obediently without becoming legalistic. I want to show others the joy of obeying You willingly. 

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SHAME ON YOU

2 THESSALONIANS 3:14

“If anyone does not obey our instruction in this letter, take special note of that person and do not associate with him, so that he will be put to shame.” 

Have you ever been shamed? Unfortunately, I have. I have done things in my past that I am not proud of. In some cases, those things were made public, causing shame. It’s embarrassing. It’s humiliating. But that shame can drive you back to the cross. It can serve as conviction through the Holy Spirit. 

Now, hear me out. I am not advocating a new ministry of shame. Quite the contrary. I would propose that we diligently seek to lift others out of shame. The devil wants us to feel unworthy. He wants us to wallow in shame. But the Lord uses shame to convict us of sinful behavior, just like Paul is saying to the Thessalonians in today’s verse.

APPLICATION

It is NOT your job as a parent to shame your child. That’s the Holy Spirit’s job. Your job is to raise your child in a godly, spirit-filled environment so they can come to Christ at an early age. You don’t draw them to Christ. The Holy Spirit does that. 

And once they surrender to Him, they will possess the “shaming” power of the Holy Spirit. But what is great about that is He doesn’t do it to tear you down. He only convicts to make you more like Jesus. Jesus was sinless. We should strive to live sin free, holy lives, which are only possible in Him.

How’s your shame? Do you have unconfessed sin in your heart right now? Confess it! Make it right with the Lord today. He wants to use us to share His good news to the world. When we are walking in shame, we are not available.  Will you let Him take away that shame and reproach? All you have to do is ask Him.

Lord, living shame-free is so much better than living in guilt. Remind me daily to surrender these things to HIM. As you surrender completely, He can do more and more through and in you.

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TIRED OF BEING GOOD

2 THESSALONIANS 3:13

“But as for you, brethren, do not grow weary of doing good.”

If you know me personally, you know I spent over 30 years of my 40+ years of ministry serving in the Child Welfare environment. I served in various capacities at several Children’s Homes. So many of the children I worked with would start learning how to handle their own behavior and make progress in school and home. But most of them would reach a point when they would regress to previous bad behavior. When asked why, they would say, “I am just tired of being good.”

That may sound like a cop out, but until they learned the truth of the Gospel, they were doomed to repeat this roller coaster of good behavior and bad behavior. Once they learned they didn’t have to be good and to allow Christ to live through them, they began to stabilize their behavior. They weren’t always good, but they recognized it was all about surrender.

APPLICATION

Don’t teach your children to be good. Yes, you read that right. Don’t teach them to behave. Teach them, instead, to trust the only Good One. When our children learn to depend solely on Christ, behaviors will improve. When they learn to follow Christ’s example of selfless living, they will put others first. 

You can’t teach goodness. You have to live it out. You have to experience life. Your children will have ample opportunities to “be good.” But nothing they can do will ever make them good. Only Christ can do that.

Are you pointing others to Jesus by your “goodness”? Are you allowing Christ to live in and through you? Apart from Him you have absolutely no goodness in you. You might be morally good. You might treat others nicely. But there is no goodness in you. We are simply sinners, saved by grace. Let His goodness lead you to do good works.

O Lord, I am so grateful that I don’t have to do good works to achieve my “goodness.” I recognize that no amount of deeds on my part will achieve that. Only You can make me “good” in Your sight.

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BUSYBODIES

2 THESSALONIANS 3:11

“For we hear that some among you are leading an undisciplined life, doing no work at all, but acting like busybodies.” 

A busy body sounds good, doesn’t it? After all, we want to stay busy and not be idle. But that is NOT what this word means. The Greek word for “busybody” is only used here in this verse. It means to work all-around or to meddle. This person goes where they don’t belong. They fixate on what others are doing, instead of doing what they are supposed to be doing.

In other words, Paul is rebuking these people. He is basically saying, “You need to get busy and mind your own business.” Have you ever been guilty of that? Have you ever had someone in your life like that? I think we can all relate in one way or the other. 

APPLICATION

Your little Johnny may come home from school saying, “You won’t believe what Jimmy did today.” Then he proceeds to go into this long story about Jimmy. You are quite amazed at all the details he knows. When you inquire how he knows all this, he tells you how all the other kids are talking.

What a perfect opportunity to use this verse. Children need to know how to avoid this trap. It is so easy to get caught in it. People like to talk, especially about others. But being a busybody can be so much fun. We think we are even helping sometimes. But this is never good. It is never Christlike. It is never building up the other person, which is what we should be trying to do.

Are you guilty of this? Do you find yourself pulled into these kinds of conversations? Stop it! Paulis very clear. We are to have no part of this. Are you willing to listen and obey a clear command? I pray you are. Instead of being a busybody, just get busy for Jesus.

Forgive me, Father, for being a busybody at times. Forgive me for thinking I know best. Help me direct my energy and focus on others who truly do need my help.

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BUT I’M HUNGRY


2 THESSALONIANS 3:10

“For even when we were with you, we used to give you this order: if anyone is not willing to work, then he is not to eat, either.” 

Have you ever been hungry? I mean, really hungry? I can’t say I have ever been starved for food. I have had an occasional hunger pain, but I have never known real hunger. I believe, though, that if I did, I would do anything I could to get some food. Not the people in this verse. They wanted to be “taken care of.” Paul did not like that and let them know it.

I am not telling you that you shouldn’t help someone in need. But it is clear from this verse that you shouldn’t enable someone who could work but had rather beg. You probably see it all the time. It seems less and less people really want to work. They want someone else to work and then ask them for help. Don’t help them be dependent. Do all you can to assist them in finding a way to provide for themselves.

APPLICATION

This is an easy one for parents. Don’t give your child everything they want. Let them earn it. I don’t believe in allowance for children, unless they are earning that money by helping with the household chores. As part of the family, they have an obligation to help. 

Now, you can’t withhold food. That would be child abuse. But you can withhold other things they desire. Remember, you are not raising children. You are raising child raisers. You are giving them instructions that will be passed down to your grandchildren. You are influencing the coming generations in the way you teach your children now.

Do you have a strong work ethic? Boy, my dad sure taught me to work. There was no choice. I got a job as soon as I could. I bought my first car with money I earned mowing grass. I am thankful my parents taught me that lesson. Are you teaching that? If not, start now.

Father, I know that everything I have is because of You, not my sweat. But I am thankful that You have given me the strength to work and earn. Help me pass on that privilege to others.

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BE A MODEL


2 THESSALONIANS 3:9

“not because we do not have the right to this, but in order to offer ourselves as a model for you, so that you would follow our example.” 

Before you start freaking out about my title today, let me explain. I am NOT telling you to be a fashion model or a swimsuit model. You may want to do that, but that is not what I am referring to in today’s verse. Paul is telling the Thessalonians that he and his companions were examples or models of Christ. He wanted them to only see Jesus in them.

I was told recently by someone that they could tell just by watching me that I was a nice person. They observed this in me not through conversation or interaction. They came to that conclusion by the way I was behaving and interacting with others. I was quite humbled and was very glad I had behaved myself, lol. But our goal should always be to model Christ, so that others would be drawn to Him, not us.

APPLICATION

Well, here we are again. The best way for us to teach our children this truth is to MODEL it ourselves. We have to live it for them to see it. We have to look like Jesus. I don’t mean to grow out your hair and wear a robe. I mean to treat others as Christ would. I mean to parent your child as Christ would. I mean to live and act like Jesus. Be a model of Christ to them.

As we do that our children learn to model Him too. They have to have an example to follow. What better example than Jesus? If your children can learn this truth at an early age, they will avoid a lot of heartaches because of the way they interact with others. Modeling Jesus isn’t easy, but it is the best way to live your life. 

“But Carl, I have blown it so many times.” That’s okay. Start fresh. Begin today to change your appearance. Be a model of Him for others to follow. Make sure when others point out your “specialness” that you point it right back to Him. It is only through Him that you can begin to look and act like Him. 

I want to look like Jesus, Father. I want others to see Him in me. Help me today to share the gospel and, if necessary, to use words.

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DON’T BE A BURDEN


2 THESSALONIANS 3:8

“nor did we eat anyone’s bread without paying for it, but with labor and hardship we kept working night and day so that we would not be a burden to any of you;” 

The only three times this word for “burden” is used in the New Testament, they are used by Paul. Once in 2 Corinthians 2:5, once in 1 Thessalonians 2:9 and then here in this verse. Paul did not in any way want to be a burden to those to whom he was shepherding. Whether it was what he was saying or doing, he wanted to spare them the obligation to care for him.

Unfortunately, too many believers today dump all their “stuff” on others. They guilt others into caring for them. I had an experience once when someone approached me to ask for money because they were “down on their luck right now.” When I told them I couldn’t help, they accused me of not being a Christian. Guilt!

APPLICATION

Teach your children to not be a burden. Teach them to carry their own weight. There is nothing wrong with asking for help. There is nothing wrong with receiving help. But we should never guilt someone into helping us. We should never cause someone else to feel obligated to take care of us. 

Your little Johnny or Susie may be one of those children who just oozes with mercy. Every time they see a person on the side of the road with one of those homemade signs asking for a handout, they beg you to give them some money. What a perfect teaching lesson. You must do what the Lord directs you to do but use that opportunity to teach this truth. Showing mercy is Christlike, but being an enabler is not.

If you have ever put your guilt on someone else to get them to give you something or care for you, repent. Then go and make that right. We need to follow Paul’s example of accepting a gift but not expecting or demanding it. Then the gift is truly a blessing rather than an entitlement.

Father, I thank You for friends and family who have come alongside me in the past. Help me pay it forward. But Lord, help me to be careful not to pass on any expectations to receive.

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OUT OF LINE


2 THESSALONIANS 3:7

“For you yourselves know how you ought to follow our example, because we did not act in an undisciplined manner among you,” 

I have to admit that sometimes, when I was growing up, I could, well, get out line. I didn’t stay disciplined. I was the kind of kid to push the limits, to color outside the lines, to act out. It wasn’t that I was hurt and needed to rebel. I just wanted what I wanted when I wanted it. I didn’t care much who I hurt to get what I thought I deserved.

The phrase “we did not act in an undisciplined manner” is one Greek word (used only here in the New Testament) which means  “march out of order; riot, rebel, behave disorderly, neglect duty, careless (or idle) in habits.” Does that sound like you or your child? I pray that is not so.

APPLICATION

It seems we are always getting our children back in line when they are young. We are quick to correct them. Why? Because we know if we don’t, they will think that acting any old way is fine. We have to teach them to “march in line,” to behave and to drop careless habits.

I never enjoyed correcting my children. I never liked getting corrected. But I am thankful that I can pass down to my children the discipline of God’s Word. It is the ONLY thing that can truly discipline us. Make that a priority with your children.

If you find yourself in that spot of “undiscipline,” stop and allow the Holy Spirit in you reign. He will always act in a disciplined manner. But He will not force you to walk a certain manner or talk in a certain way or even love in a certain way. He must work through our free will to accomplish what He has for us.

There is no reason for me to act like the world, Father. Forgive me for not living as an example of Your love. I so desire to be seen as living only for you.

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