Category Archives: Mentoring

Bible, Child Raising, Child Rearing, Condemnation, Confidence, Encouragement, Following, Mentoring, Parenting, Repentance, Scripture, Surrender

CONFIDENCE

1 JOHN 3:21

“Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence before God;”

Have you ever been confident of something? You knew you had whatever it was figured out and could handle it. How do you gain that confidence? Does it just come naturally? Most of the time it doesn’t. It comes from practice. It comes from repeated actions until you don’t even have to think about it. When I haven’t done something in a while, I usually have to go back and study up to feel confident. Not so with our hearts, though.

John is reminding us that if our hearts are “confessed up” there is no condemnation there. We can stand before the Lord with confidence, knowing that we have brought all our sins and failures to Him. There is no better feeling than to know we can stand free and clear before Him. The fresh feeling of forgiveness washes over us and allows us to stand boldly before a holy God.

APPLICATION

Have your children ever tried to hide something they have done wrong? Maybe they broke something and didn’t want you to find out. You knew something was going on but hadn’t figured it out yet. When you did find out, how did they respond? Some kids will just break down and confess. Others will maintain their innocence. Confession has to come in order for forgiveness to be given and received.

These little lessons go a long way toward our children understanding the forgiveness of the Lord. There are often consequences for actions, but most of the time those consequences are not that bad. But our children fear the consequences. We need to teach them to seek out the restoration. That covers the consequences and, like John says, removes the condemnation.

Are you free from condemnation today? I hope so. I pray you have come before the Father with a clean slate. There is no need to put off confession. He knows our hearts anyway. And when we come to Him in full surrender, bearing our guilt and sin, He looks on us lovingly and extends His grace. What more could you ask for?

Thank You, Lord, for the forgiveness You give each and every time I come to You. I want to walk boldly before You knowing You have washed me clean.

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Accountability, Bible, Child Raising, Child Rearing, Condemnation, Confession, Encouragement, Forgiveness, God's Will, Mentoring, Parenting, Repentance, Salvation, Scripture

GOD IS GREATER

1 JOHN 3:20

“in whatever our heart condemns us; for God is greater than our heart and knows all things.”

We can rationalize our sins, can’t we? We can excuse our “little” inconsistencies and insist they are not so bad. We can always point at someone else and their sins. They are so much worse, right? Guess what? Sin is sin! Period. We can’t rely on what our heart condemns. We have to rely on the One who judges all things.

John tells us God is greater than our hearts. He knows our every little thought. He knows our motives. He knows our hearts much better than we do. We cannot hide our secret sins. We have one choice – to come to Him in full confession. He does know all things, including every thought of our heart.

APPLICATION

Have you convinced your children you have eyes in the back of your head? Lol. A lot of children would swear that their parents do. They can’t seem to get away with anything. That’s a good thing, huh? Of course, we know we don’t. We just have a little more experience and can spot a lie or deceitful heart.

Our children need to learn that there is no reason to try to hide their hearts. God loves them and wants them to walk with Him in Spirit and truth. Keeping your heart confessed before Him allows you to not be condemned. If you have asked Christ to be your Lord and Savior, there is no reason to walk in condemnation. That’s the tactic of the devil. He wants to accuse us. God doesn’t. He forgives us.

So, are you feeling condemned? Get rid of that right now. God is great, not because He wants to zap you. God is great because He loved you enough to send His Son to die for you. God has no desire to condemn you. Nor does He want you to allow your heart to condemn you. He longs for you to come to Him. Won’t you do that today?

Father, I confess I am not worthy to even be called Your child, but You call me that. I bring all those sins before You now for cleansing.

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Advice, Anxiety, Child Raising, Child Rearing, Choices, Double-minded, Doubts, Encouragement, Following, God's Will, Mentoring, Parenting, Promises, Scripture, Trust, Truth

OF THE TRUTH

1 JOHN 3:19

“We will know by this that we are of the truth, and will assure our heart before Him”

Have you ever had doubts? I mean, really had doubts about something? You think you know what the truth is, but something just keeps bugging you. You can’t seem to put your finger on it. Doubt is a worrying thing, isn’t it? No one wants to feel unsure of themselves. At least, I don’t. I want to be assured that my actions and beliefs are grounded on something solid.

John is telling us here in this verse that we can be assured. How? By relying on the truths of God’s Word. Nothing else is certain. He says it “will assure our heart before Him.” What does that mean? The word “assure” means to be persuaded. But not just any persuasion. It means the Lord persuades the believer to be confident in His preferred-will. It involves obedience, but it is the result of God’s persuasion.

APPLICATION

Have you taught your kids to jump in the water to you? How did you do that? Did you stand way out in the pool or lake and tell them to just run and jump? Of course, not. You did it slowly. You stepped just away from them and had them jump into your arms. Then you backed away a little more, until they were literally diving out into your arms.

You had to persuade them to trust you. The Lord knows the same is true for us as we learn to trust Him. He wants us to teach our children these small truths of trust. As our children learn to trust the Lord in little things, they will begin to trust Him with bigger things. Of course, the biggest thing we trust Him with is our salvation. And if we can trust Him with that, why can’t we trust Him with the other stuff?

What are you holding back from God? What are you not trusting Him with? Let me ask you a question. Are you persuaded that you are in His will right now? Hmmm? The Lord doesn’t want you unstable or unsure in your ways. Lean on Him. Trust Him to guide you in all your days. He will!

Father, forgive me of my doubts. Reassure me today that You are guiding and protecting me. I will trust You! 

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Advice, Bible, Child Raising, Child Rearing, Choices, Encouragement, Gifts, Giving, Hugs, Inspirational, Love, Mentoring, Obedience, Parenting, Promises, Relationships, Scripture

DON’T JUST TALK ABOUT IT

1 JOHN 3:18

“Little children, let us not love with word or with tongue, but in deed and truth.”

Have you ever promised to do something for someone and just never got around to doing it? We probably have all done that at some point. We have the best of intentions, but we get busy and forget about it. Or we just put it off because it doesn’t seem that important.

Well, it is. Our word means something, but only if we act on it. John is reminding us that our love is seen so much more by our deeds and actions. We can say we love someone, but until we show them our love by our actions, it doesn’t really hold a lot of truth. It can be the simplest sign, too. It just means so much more than words.

APPLICATION

This might be a time when we can learn from our kids. Kids show love easily. They are normally quick to run up and give a hug or kiss to express their love. They may make a special little gift for someone just because they want to. Little expressions of love from little ones mean so much. Why do we adults shy away from the simple ways?

And the biggest way we can show our love for others is by telling them about Jesus. Do you have friends whom you tell you love, but have never shared Jesus with? Do you really love them then? How can we say we love someone if we don’t share with them the most important thing in our lives? What better expression of our love?  Teach your kids to share their love of Jesus to others as well. That’s a gift that keeps on giving.

Tell someone today just how much Jesus loves them. Tell them how much you want to see them come to know Him as their Lord and Savior. Invite someone to church or to a small group. And if you have promised to do something for them in the name of Jesus, by all means, do it. Keep your word. Love in deed, my brother.

Father, let my love to others be more than just words. Let them see my love acted out to them in simple actions.

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Bible, Child Raising, Child Rearing, Choices, Commands, Courage, Disciplemaking, Encouragement, Family, God's Will, Life, Love, Mentoring, Modeling, Parenting, Relationships, Scripture, Testimony, Witnessing

TO DIE FOR

1 JOHN 3:16

“We know love by this, that He laid down His life for us; and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren.”

Who would you die for? Your first response is probably your children and your spouse. You would probably say your mom or dad. Maybe you would die for a sibling. But we typically save that kind of sacrifice for family. But is that what Jesus asks us to do? I think He calls us to go beyond that.

John says here we are to lay down our lives for the brethren. Who is that? Who is our brother or sister? Anyone who is in the family of God with us. I think of the people who stood up to defend their brothers and sisters in recent church shootings. They didn’t hesitate to stand between evil and their brothers and sisters. That’s true love – laying down their lives for others.

APPLICATION

Now, this isn’t something you teach your children in one sitting. How do you teach your children this kind of love for others? Well, you don’t. This kind of love only comes with maturity and growth in the Lord. Little children can’t comprehend this kind of sacrifice. As we grow and learn more about our true life in Christ, we realize that this life on earth is fleeting. The only true life is life in Him.

Allow your children to see you sacrifice for others daily. It doesn’t have to be a literally laying down your life. But you know what – sometimes that’s harder. Laying down your rights for the benefit of others can teach your children volumes. Sometimes allowing others to “have their way” may lay the groundwork for future conversations and opportunities to share about Jesus. As long as we don’t compromise on truth, it’s worth it.

Who will you die for? Anyone? Think about that today. Ask the Lord if there is someone you need to reach out to today. Is there someone who is in need of your sacrificial love. What are you willing to lie down for others? There are so many ways to sacrifice without it costing us our lives. Will you do it for Him?

I will lay down my life for others today, Lord. There is nothing I hold which is more valuable than the soul of another.

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Accountability, Bible, Child Raising, Child Rearing, Destruction, Double-minded, Evil, Hatred, Holy Spirit, Love, Mentoring, Modeling, Parenting, Relationships, Scripture, Self-control, Testimony

HATE = MURDER

1 JOHN 3:15

“Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer; and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him.”

Have you ever hated someone so much you wanted to kill them? I am sure you quickly say No! Not many of us would ever let that thought cross our mind. But have you thought of ways to “payback” someone for something they have done to you? Come on, be honest. It’s not a far stretch from one to the other, in the eyes of the world. Hate is hate and only leads to wrong choices.

John is not saying everyone who hates is actually going to kill someone. But he is saying that spirit of hate harbored in your heart comes from the source. There’s no room for hatred in the life of a believer. Did Jesus hate? Of course, not. And if we are to emulate our Master, we must lie down anything that is contrary to Him.

APPLICATION

Your children are going to come in one day from school or play and say, “I hate…” You had better jump on that one. You need to find out what is going on and why. We cannot have our children hating others. We know people say and do things that hurt their feelings, but hatred can be no response.

So, what do we teach them during these times. To love. That’s it. We teach them to pray for those who have harmed them. We teach them to try to figure out why they have done or said those things. Sin has a reason. We know that. As you lead them to pray for those individuals, pray for those who have harmed you as well.

Children watch us forgive. They learn forgiveness best by forgiving. It’s not easy, but it’s possible. When we remember that it is the Lord who forgives through us, it is a lot easier. Allow Him to just love them as only He can. Make sure they know it is because of His love for them that you forgive. They may reject that. That’s okay. Their acceptance is not your responsibility. Your forgiveness is.

I will harbor no hatred in my heart toward others. I will love as You do, Lord, through the power of the Holy Spirit.

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Accountability, Advice, Bible, Child Raising, Child Rearing, Choices, Commitment, Death, Disciplemaking, Encouragement, Forgiveness, Heaven, Inspirational, Life, Love, Mentoring, Parenting, Scripture, Surrender

CHANGING SEATS

1 JOHN 3:14

“We know that we have passed out of death into life, because we love the brethren. He who does not love abides in death.”

Have you ever asked to change seats on a plane so you could have the window seat? I used to like to sit by the window so I could look out. Over the years that interest faded. I just want to sit somewhere now where I can rest or read and not be bothered by others getting up and crawling across my lap. Lol

But sometimes a change of scenery is good. We’ve been given that in Christ. Our previous view was death. We were doomed to an eternal damnation with no way to get out on our own. But then Christ came and shed His blood for us. That changed everything. We now have life, and it shows in our love for each other.

APPLICATION

I often am told by parents that they can tell when their young child has committed themselves to Christ. Their heart gets tender. They start asking for forgiveness for wrongs done. Their very nature has changed. Isn’t that the way it’s supposed to be? We should look different on the outside. People should be able to tell we have life now.

Once you see your child striving to live like Jesus, you can waste no time discipling them. They are going to need your guidance in how to study the Word and how to pray. You can’t leave this up to chance. No matter how young or old your child is when they come to that saving knowledge of Jesus, they are going to need you to walk with them.

Aren’t you glad you no longer walk in death? You now can walk in newness of life every day. Jesus walks with you as you learn to love others as He does. He can teach you the joys that come in life. The fear of death is gone. You only have glory to look forward to one day. Hallelujah!

I do walk in life! You are the reason, Lord. Help me introduce others as well.

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Accountability, Bible, Child Raising, Child Rearing, Choices, Commands, Disciplemaking, Encouragement, Hatred, Love, Mentoring, Modeling, Parenting, Relationships, Scripture, The World

SURPRISE – NOT

1 JOHN 3:13

“Do not be surprised, brethren, if the world hates you.”

I don’t exactly remember the first time I realized the world hated me because of my beliefs. I mean, I know my walk with Christ does not exactly measure up to the world’s walk. My exposure to hatred has been more from some individuals who wanted to argue about abortion, same sex marriage or another strongly held belief. My refusal to argue with them only seemed to make them want to fight more. Have you experienced that?

John is warning us to not be surprised. In fact, that is a command – DO NOT be surprised. He is essentially telling us we are going to face this. But we are not to hate back. Jesus warned us of this Himself. John heard Him say that. John watch how He responded to their hatred, all the way to the cross. He heard Him say those words on the cross, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.”

APPLICATION

Here we go again. How do you teach your children this truth? You live it out before them. Every time someone treats you with hatred, you respond with love. When they continue to hate you, you continue to love. You invite your children to pray with you for that person. You ask the Lord to break down that hatred they have in their heart because we know it is not of God.

Children learn from that. They are watching. They will imitate those actions much quicker than just repeat your words. And when you see them imitate that love, make sure you praise them for it. Let them know how proud you are of them for choosing love over hatred.

Is there someone you need to love more today who has shown you nothing but scorn and hatred? I didn’t say it was easy. Hatred towards us, if we are living for Christ, is really hatred towards Him. He received it. Why shouldn’t we? Allow Jesus to love through you. Don’t return the hate. Return love.

I choose love over hate, even when I know it will be difficult. Help me, Lord, to surrender to you daily.

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Accountability, Bible, Child Raising, Child Rearing, Direction, Disciplemaking, Encouragement, Family, Following, Inspirational, Love, Mentoring, Modeling, Parenting, Protection, Scripture, Self-control, Testimony

WHAT A STORY

1 JOHN 3:12

“not as Cain, who was of the evil one and slew his brother. And for what reason did he slay him? Because his deeds were evil, and his brother’s were righteous.”

Have you ever heard a story told over and over? My brother-in-law, Dr. Wayne Barber, was a master storyteller. He just had a way of bringing you right into the story. He famously told his beaver dam story more times than I can count, but each time he told it, I was sucked right in. Some stories are just that memorable.

John is reminding us of a story we have all heard before. Cain killed his brother. Wow! He was jealous of his brother. And when he was confronted by God after he killed him, what did he say? Am I my brother’s keeper? Why yes, Cain, you are. That’s John’s point. We are all our brother’s keeper.

APPLICATION

If you have more than one child, don’t you teach your older children to keep an eye on the younger ones? I don’t mean they should be responsible for them. But they do have an obligation to watch over them, to help protect them. It’s just the right thing for siblings to do.

I will never forget defending my little sister on a school playground when I was in the second grade and she was in the first grade. The class bully had decided to pick on her during recess, and I was going to have none of that. After our confrontation (let’s leave it at that), he didn’t bother her again. Now, I am not advocating fighting. Please don’t hear me say that. But I am saying we have to teach our children to look after each other.

Is there a weaker brother who could use your support? Maybe someone is going through some marriage struggles right now and needs advice. Perhaps someone is struggling with a wayward child and you’ve got some experience in that area. Don’t turn your back. Ask the Lord to use you to lighten their load.

Use me, Lord, however you wish to come to the aid of those around me. I want to honor You.

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Bible, Child Raising, Child Rearing, Commands, Disciplemaking, Encouragement, Inspirational, Love, Mentoring, Modeling, Obedience, Parenting, Scripture, Testimony

SIMPLE MESSAGE

1 JOHN 3:11

“For this is the message which you have heard from the beginning, that we should love one another;”

We are taught from birth to love one another. We teach our children to love their siblings. We role model our love for one another to our families. As believers, we try to follow Christ’s example and love one another. I think you get the picture. So, why does John even have to tell us this?

Because we are sinful, flesh-ridden creatures who naturally care only about themselves. That may sound harsh, but it’s true. We can never hear this message enough – LOVE ONE ANOTHER. But what exactly does that mean? It means to sacrifice ourselves for the good of others. It means to choose others over ourselves. It means to go that extra mile for the sake of a lost soul who needs to hear the saving message of Jesus.

APPLICATION

Kids love people. Most small children are unabashedly quick to tell someone they love them. I have been on playgrounds with kids for minutes and heard them say they loved someone. What we have to do, however, is to teach them to love like Jesus and NOT like the adults in their lives. What? Did I actually just say that? Yep. Our adult idea of loving one another doesn’t necessarily agree with Jesus’.

Jesus loved perfectly. John saw that up front and personal for over three years. He saw His selfless acts of love long before the cross. We have to point our kids to Jesus as the only true model of love for one another. We just can’t trust any other example. We have to do our best to model it for them, all the while knowing we fall woefully short.

Whom could you love better? I can name four or five individuals right now that I know I need to love better. It’s not easy, is it? Some folks are just hard to love, admit it. But Jesus died for us all. He loves us all. I have to be more like Him and less like me. I bet you’re the same.

O Lord, forgive me as I fall so short of loving others. Help me love them as You do.

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