Category Archives: Marriage

Bible, Bonds, Death, Freedom, Husbands, Marriage, Scripture, Wives

CONTEXT IN KING

ROMANS 7:2

“For the married woman is bound by law to her husband as long as he is alive; but if her husband dies, she is released from the law concerning the husband.”

It is amazing how people can take a verse out of the middle of a passage and build a whole belief system on it. Today’s verse poses such an opportunity. Before you jump on me, I do believe in the sanctity of marriage. Not all marriages are salvageable, however, and God would never punish the innocent victim. (For more on that check on Dr. Spiros Zodhiates’ book on “Divorce and Remarriage.”)

But marriage and divorce were really not Paul’s intention in this passage. He is using an earthly illustration to build on the previous verse about our freedom from the Law versus our servitude to it. The Pulpit Commentary says it well. “The general drift of the above verses is plain enough; namely, that, as in all cases death frees a man from the claims of human law, and, in particular, as death frees the wife from the claims of marital law, so that she may marry again, so the death of Christ, into which we were baptized, frees us from the claims of the law which formerly bound us, so that we may be married spiritually to the risen Saviour, apart from the old dominion of law, and consequently of sin.”

APPLICATION

The word used by Paul translated as “bound” is deó. It literally means to bind, be in bonds, knit, tie or wind. Paul is not saying a woman is tied up when she is married. There weren’t ropes holding her to the man. Sure, there are spiritual implications to a marriage. Marriage should be between one man and one woman for life. The Mosaic Law taught that a man or woman was free to remarry if their spouse died. But the Law also allowed a man to divorce his wife for even a minor offense. In that culture, man ruled. Women were subservient. Paul is not talking about this.

Listen carefully. Paul is saying that when we died to sin (represented by the death of a spouse), we were free to walk with Christ (represented by the freedom to remarry). Celebrate your freedom in Christ. Don’t focus on the illustration. Focus on the truth. Every word of Scripture is inspired, so I know God through the Holy Spirit instructed Paul to write these words and use this illustration. He wanted to give us a way to understand the divine truth of our death and resurrection in Christ.

Are you still walking in bonds to your former manner of life? You may claim you have tried everything to be set free, but you just can’t shake it. Hogwash! When you say things like that, you are limited the God of the universe on whom there are no limits. Do you need help? You may, but you can free yourself from the bonds of sin that so easily entangle you.

Father God, You have set us free from the bonds of sin to walk free and victoriously in Christ

If the Lord should lead you to support our ministry, check out our ministry page at Trans World Radio (www.twr.org/carl-willis). 

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Bible, Commands, Husbands, Marriage, Scripture, Wives

LEAVE AND CLEAVE

EPHESIANS 5:31

“FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND HIS MOTHER AND BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH.”

Many a marriage struggles with the concept of leaving and cleaving. Some men just won’t leave mama and daddy. They pull their wife into their parents’ lives and do not spend the time to make their own lives. Family is important, but a man must set up his own household and not force his wife to simply adopt his. I am not saying a man should forsake his parents and siblings. No! But neither should he just make his wife an extension of those relationships.

Paul refers back to the verse found in Genesis 2:24 as he continues to discuss husbands and wives. That verse says, “For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.” Even Jesus referred to this same verse in Matthew 19:5-6. Jesus said, “5 ‘FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND HIS MOTHER AND BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH’? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, no person is to separate.’” 

APPLICATION

This is one of the easy applications, if we will just do it. Men, we must support our wives in this. What do I mean by that? Well, we don’t compare our wife’s cooking to our moms. Honey, I bet if you asked mama how she cooks her chicken, she could help you. Not a smart comment. I am reminded of the tv show, Everyone Loves Raymond. Raymond never cut the apron strings, thus causing daily conflict with his wife. Sure, the writers made it appear like it was humorous, but in reality, not so much.

In the Genesis passage, the word “leave” literally means to forsake or loosen. God is telling husbands that their priority now is to his wife and their new family. The word “joined” means to cling and keep close. He says we are no longer two. We are one in the flesh. Jesus goes even further (He could because He is God) and says, “let no man separate.”

So, husbands, step up and cleave. Be joined to your bride as one. Support her. Cling to her. Serve her. Respect and honor your parents, for sure. But know that now your main allegiance is to your wife and family. God will honor you for that.

Father, help all husbands see the needs of their wives and cling to her in faith.

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Bible, Family, God's Will, Husbands, Marriage, Scripture, Wives

WIVES AND THEIR HUSBANDS

EPHESIANS 5:22

“Wives, subject yourselves to your own husbands, as to the Lord.”

Ephesians 5:22-6:4 is a well-known passage about the roles of a family (wife, husband, child, father). I want to begin by saying that these are God’s words given to Paul through the Holy Spirit to pen for the Ephesians and future generations. You may not like all that is written here. Many people don’t. They claim these thoughts are outdated or irrelevant for today. But do I need to remind you that every single word in the Bible is inspired by God and is profitable? (2 Timothy 3:16-17) So, don’t get mad at me for what Paul is saying. Don’t get mad at Paul. He was just the messenger. Take it up with God.

Paul starts out these verses on family by instructing the wife. I mentioned in yesterday’s blog on 5:21 that some people don’t like the thought of women submitting or subjecting themselves to a man. Go back and read that blog for a further description about that word “subject.” I am not going to rehearse that thought today. Instead, I want you to look at some other verses God gives us on today’s subject. Before we do that, look at the last four words of today’s verse – “as to the Lord.” That is the parameter for the woman’s submission.

APPLICATION

I want to start this application with a quote from Barnes about this verse. Hang with me. It’s kind of long, but I think it is a great view of the text. “Where commands begin ‘in this relation,’ happiness usually ends; and the moment a husband ‘requires’ a wife to do anything, it is usually a signal of departing or departed affection and peace. When there are proper feelings in both parties in this relation there will be no occasion either to command or to obey. There should be such mutual love and confidence, that the known ‘wish’ of the husband should be a law to the wife: and that the known desires of the wife should be the rule which he would approve. A perfect government is that where the known wish of the lawgiver is a sufficient rule to the subject. Such is the government of heaven; and a family on earth should approximate as nearly as possible to that.”

That was pretty good, huh? It’s a mutual thing when it is done as the Lord commands. In 1 Corinthians 11:3, we read this, “But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ.” The Lord gives us clear roles in family. They are not to be ignored, for when they are, chaos rules. For more on this, read verses 4-12 in 1 Corinthians 11.

The Lord spoke through Peter on this subject as well. In 1 Peter 3:1 it says, “In the same way, you wives, be subject to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won over without a word by the behavior of their wives,.” The wife’s submission to her husband can be used by the Lord to win over an unbelieving husband.

Over in Titus 2:3-5, Paul gives these instructions to Titus for the church. “3 Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, 4 so that they may encourage the young to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.”

I could go on and give you more passages on this subject of wives’ submission to their husbands, but I think you have the picture now. I encourage you to search the Scriptures yourself if you have doubts. Let the Lord correct you, not me. Do it all as to the Lord.

Father, I thank You for wives everywhere who see the benefits and rewards of following Your plan for the home.

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Abiding, Accountability, Battles, Bible, Commitment, Family, God's Will, Marriage, Relationships, Scripture

GOD’S MODEL FOR MARRIAGE

MALACHI 2:15

“But not one has done so who has a remnant of the Spirit. And why the one? He was seeking a godly offspring. Be careful then about your spirit, and see that none of you deals treacherously against the wife of your youth.”

Marriage is such a joy. I pray your marriage is as much fun as mine. Now, I don’t want to give the impression that mine if perfect. It is far from that, but it is so much sweeter when my wife and I are yielding to Jesus. The days we don’t do that, we struggle a bit. We have to constantly remember what we are modeling for others – God’s model for marriage.

In today’s verse, Malachi gives a hint of that. Who was he referring to in this verse? Many scholars agree that it was Adam who was given Eve as his wife. He was given the Spirit when God breathed into his nostrils and gave him life. He was given Eve for companionship and to produce “godly offspring” to populate the earth. God intended marriage to be centered on Him. Remember, He walked with them in the garden before the fall.

APPLICATION

Our world has tried its best to destroy the institute of marriage. We have condoned every sort of “marriage” and called it normal. We have forsaken the marriage of one man and one woman. We have made it easy to get out of a marriage if it does not suit us anymore. Jesus spoke against this in Matthew 19:3-10. Take a few minutes and read those verses. Jesus did not pull any punches there.

If you are struggling in your marriage and the “D” word has come up, stop right where you are. Go to the Lord and talk to Him about this. Don’t just listen to your friends or lawyer. Go to the Great Counsel. He has all the answers. Honor your marriage as God intends. He can help heal those wounds. He wants to repair your damaged marriage and remake it into His model.

I want to share again with you a commitment we teach our men in our ministry (Every Man A Warrior). It says, “It is my privilege to show my love for Jesus by caring for my wife – to love her, to show her honor, to try to understand her and to give up my life and rights for her.” That can be applied both ways in a marriage. If you are married, love your spouse today as Jesus does.

Father, I know I fall so short of your model for marriage. Give me the strength and wisdom to follow Your example.

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Abiding, Belief, Bible, Commands, Following, God's Will, Intimacy, Marriage, Salvation, Scripture

THE WRONG MARRIAGE

MALACHI 2:11

“Judah has dealt treacherously, and an abomination has been committed in Israel and in Jerusalem; for Judah has profaned the sanctuary of the LORD which He loves, and has married the daughter of a foreign god.”

There are a lot of marriages that should never happen. People who jump into a marriage often jump out. Some people think if they live together first, they will have a better chance of staying married. You know, the old take the car for a spin first mentality. Those marriages often don’t make it either. So, what’s the secret?

Well, we see in today’s verse one think is obviously a problem. The priests had married foreign wives, which had been strictly forbidden long ago. Why was this banned? Because they brought in their idols and corrupted the people. The priests were given even stricter marriage laws than the people. Leviticus 21:13-15 tells us, “‘13 He shall take a wife in her virginity. 14 A widow, or a divorced woman, or one who is profaned by prostitution, these he shall not take; but rather he is to marry a virgin of his own people, 15 so that he will not profane his children among his people; for I am the LORD who sanctifies him.’” Pretty clear, huh?

APPLICATION

So, how does this apply to us today? Well, we may not bring idols into our homes, but we can be unequally yoked with someone. Paul tells us in 2 Corinthians 6:14, “Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness?” If you want to read more on that, read verses 15-18. Wow!

When we marry someone who is not a believer, they will almost always weaken our faith, not strengthen it. But Carl, I can win them to Jesus. Then do that before marriage, not after. When we are married to a fellow believer, our priority is Jesus. As we grow closer to Him, we grow closer to each other. You won’t find that kind of spiritual intimacy with a non-believer.

So, what do you do if you find yourself in lopsided marriage? Go to the Word. Ask the Lord how you can lead your spouse to Jesus. Of course, pray daily for your spouse’s salvation. Most of all, exhibit Jesus to them. Live like you know Jesus. Your behavior and lifestyle will do so much toward leading them heavenward. There is always hope. Believe.

Father, I praise You that You have given me a loving spouse who loves You more than she does me.

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