Category Archives: Family

Affection, Bible, Busyness, Child Raising, Child Rearing, Direction, Disciplemaking, Encouragement, Family, God's Will, Love, Mentoring, Ministry, Modeling, Obedience, Parenting, Passion, Sanctification, Service, Widows

CHRIST FIRST

1 TIMOTHY 5:11

“But refuse to put younger widows on the list, for when they feel sensual desires in disregard of Christ, they want to get married,” 

I have to admit that I had to consult some commentators on this verse. At first glance in the English, this paints the younger widows in a bad way. Fortunately, the Greek meaning of the phrase “feel sensual desires in disregard of” was not originally meant to portray such a negative opinion. The Greek word for that phrase is only used here in the New Testament.

The purpose of “the list” of widows was for the church to minister to them and for the widows, in return, minister to each other and serve the Body. Paul is merely saying that younger widows will have the natural desires to remarry which will limit their ability to serve. He is not condemning these young widows. He is, in fact, releasing them from the obligation to serve.

APPLICATION

How in the world do you apply this verse to your children? Easy! Put Christ first! Putting Christ first is costly. Putting Christ first means letting other things go. Putting Christ first means not doing some things and pursuing other things. Now, tell me that doesn’t apply to your kids.

When we teach our children to pursue Christ first, they will have to make some tough choices. They will be given ample opportunities to pursue everything but Christ. They will have to choose which master to follow. If we invest the time to teach them the honor and privilege of putting Christ first, they will reap the benefits of that close, personal relationship that comes with that. Don’t you want that for your son or daughter?

Are you putting Christ first? Or are you pursuing the world, with all its distractions. You cannot put family or work or even ministry first and expect to have that intimate relationship with Christ. Whatever is causing you to put Christ anywhere but in first place in your life must be examined closely and put in its proper position in your life.

Lord Jesus, I want You to be first in my life. I want You to come before anything. I want You to be second to nothing.

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WORTHY OF HONOR

1 TIMOTHY 5:10

“having a reputation for good works; and if she has brought up children, if she has shown hospitality to strangers, if she has washed the saints’ feet, if she has assisted those in distress, and if she has devoted herself to every good work.” 

Just look at the list of this widow’s character traits making her worthy of honor by the church. She has a good reputation. She is a child raiser. She is hospitable, service oriented, full of mercy and devoted. Wow! That’s some woman!

But shouldn’t we all be like that? I mean, look at the list again. Which one of those traits don’t belong in your life? The bottom line is she puts others before herself. Therein lies the rub. We don’t want to do that. We want to see ourselves first. We want to meet our needs first. It’s always me, me, me!

APPLICATION

Well, this is a no brainer. As parents, we are constantly teaching our little Gertrudes and Elords how to not be selfish. We teach children to share because they are naturally selfish. We teach them to watch out for their little brother or sister because they are not concerned with that. 

But once again, this is better caught than taught. We must model these behaviors. When they see us showing mercy to someone, they learn from that. When they observe us serving someone else, they watch how it’s done. We are living out the traits they need to embrace. So, be very careful what you do and say. Little eyes and ears are watching and listening.

How are you in regard to these traits? Are you hospitable? Do you show mercy or wrath? We may not be a widow who needs to be put on the church list, but we still need to live out these same godly traits. And what is amazing is that when we do these things, we are the ones who are blessed. Be a blessing!

I do enjoy blessing others, Lord. Help me see their need even before it is apparent. Let me be Your hands and feet to them.

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Advice, Bible, Caregiver, Child Raising, Child Rearing, Comfort, Commands, Disciplemaking, Encouragement, Family, Love, Ministry, Modeling, Obedience, Parenting, Service, Widows

SIGN THEM UP

1 TIMOTHY 5:9

“A widow is to be put on the list only if she is not less than sixty years old, having been the wife of one man,” 

I’m a list maker. I didn’t used to be. After my bout with chemo several years ago I lost some of my short-term memory skills. So, now I have to make lists or poof – that thought vanishes. You are probably asking yourself, “Carl, what does your short-term memory loss have to do with today’s verse?” I’m glad you asked.

Widows and widowers are quickly forgotten. When their spouse dies, we all run to their home to console and love on them. However, after a few weeks, we forget about them. We get back into our routine and forget their routine has been forever altered. 

APPLICATION

Why don’t you get your family to “adopt” a widow or widower? Of course, you may have one in your own family to care for, but if you don’t, I am sure your church has a list of them who need someone to come alongside them. What a great way to teach your little Susie how to love others.

It’s the little things that are needed by them. Things a widow’s husband would have done around the house go undone. Even little things like changing that light bulb in the ceiling light are huge for them. For the widower, it might be missing those homecooked meals by his wife. Let your children help you as you minister to one of these on the list.

Who do you know right now who could use that kind of TLC? Give them a call and tell them you want to take them out to dinner this weekend. Drop by with your tool box and ask if they need anything done around the house. Ask them first. They will probably welcome the visit.

Father, forgive me when I overlook those who have such simple needs. I want You to use me to help them with these daily tasks. I know they are precious in Your sight.

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RESPONSIBILITIES

1 TIMOTHY 5:8

“But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”

In Book Two of the Every Man A Warrior disciplemaking study, Lonnie Berger says this, “After becoming a Christian, marriage is the most life changing event in your life. When you marry, you give up your life in order to live it for someone else. You work for the other person. You begin to think about permanence, buying a house, saving for the future and providing for your children. You come to a whole new level of maturity.”

The phrase “does not provide” in today’s verse would lead you to think Paul is merely talking about food and shelter. No! The word actually has more to do with what Lonnie said. It’s about respecting your family. It’s about thinking about them first. It’s about acting according to God’s will on behalf of your family. That’s showing responsibility.

APPLICATION

Fathers, teach your sons to be men. Now, I am not taking ANYTHING away from the strength and power of women. We men would be doomed without them. But God intended for men to care for their families. The father is expected to provide for his family. Our society has downgraded that responsibility to the point that some men ignore that.

A real man loves his family. A real man comes home at night to his wife and children. A real man thinks about his family BEFORE he makes his plans. A real man consults his wife BEFORE he makes a purchase that can affect the household budget. A real man follows God.

Do you get the picture? Today’s blog is more directed toward the men, but ladies, you too have a responsibility to put your family before yourself. For most of you that is not a problem. But if it is, stop and correct that. And teach your children the same.

O God, thank You for my family. Thank You for convicting me when I become selfish in my time and energy. I want to please You as I care for my family.

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UNAPPREHENDABLE

1 TIMOTHY 5:7

“Prescribe these things as well, so that they may be above reproach.”

I’m not sure “unapprehendable” is a word, but it is now, lol. I use that to describe “above reproach” for a reason. The Greek word means someone is trying to accuse someone else of something of which there is no evidence of their guilt. It’s a baseless charge. Therefore, they cannot be apprehended.

This Greek word is only used in 1 Timothy (3:2, 5:7 and 6:14) by Paul. I wonder why. Why did the Holy Spirit tell Paul to use that word only in this letter to Timothy? It’s a great word and could have been applied to a lot of Paul’s letters. It doesn’t matter why – only that it is used here.

APPLICATION

Oh, what an important thing to teach your little Gertrude and Elrod. They need to live in such a way that they are above reproach and unapprehendable. They should live surrendered to Jesus so completely that no accusation hurled against them can stick. They are guiltless before man. 

If we live that way, we don’t have to keep watching over our shoulders hoping no one finds out about us. We have nothing to hide. Our lives are an open book, so to speak. The devil loves to dig up our dirt and throw it back on us. But if we live like Paul is saying here, there is no dirt to be used against us. 

Are you unapprehendable? Or are you constantly trying to keep stuff hidden from others? How tiring! We can literally wear ourselves out hiding stuff. One lie leads to another lie. Don’t you get tired of that? Praise be to God! He sets us free from that. He knows our dirt and still forgives us. Won’t you live in that freedom today? Allow Him to walk with you wherever you go. He will NEVER lead you to a place that you are ashamed. 

Blameless! That’s the way I want live, Lord. Lead me in Your ways every day, so that I have nothing to hide.

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FORSAKEN BUT FAITHFUL

1 TIMOTHY 5:5

“Now she who is a widow indeed and who has been left alone, has fixed her hope on God and continues in entreaties and prayers night and day.” 

That may seem like a strange title for a blog, but that is exactly what this widow was. To be “left alone” literally means forsaken. But despite that, she continues in her faith. She prays specifically for needs and prays generally for others. She knows her only source of help and comfort comes from above.

Do you know a prayer warrior like that? I do. In fact, I know several. Their solace is in spending time with the Lord, studying His Word and talking to Him. They know He will never leave them or forsake them. They may be “alone” in this world, but they are never alone spiritually.

APPLICATION

Children need to learn this peace early. They need to know that our God and Father will never leave them, if they are one His children. They may think they are alone and the world is against them. But He never leaves their side. Drive that truth into Him. They need to hear that over and over again.

Do you ever have to leave your child to go on trips? I am sure that is hard on them and you. When you come home there are kisses and hugs, right? Just think of this – God is always with us giving us those kinds of hugs and kisses. Now, I don’t mean physical hugs and kisses. But His presence is just as soothing and intimate.

Do you feel His presence in your prayer life? Do you spend the time you need to each day to commune with your holy God. He is waiting to talk to you. He won’t barge in on you. He waits for you to come to Him, but He’s always ready. Isn’t that unbelievable?  

Father, thank You for always being there for me. I praise You for your steadfast love and compassion and the way You show it each and every day to me.

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Advice, Affection, Alone, Bible, Child Raising, Child Rearing, Comfort, Commands, Encouragement, Family, God's Will, Love, Mentoring, Obedience, Parenting, Scripture, Widows

PAYBACK CAN BE A GOOD THING

1 TIMOTHY 5:4

“but if any widow has children or grandchildren, they must first learn to practice piety in regard to their own family and to make some return to their parents; for this is acceptable in the sight of God.”

I’ve said a number of times how important it is to respect our elders. In today’s verse, we see it again. Paul is telling Timothy that the care of the widows belongs to their family first. Sons, daughters, grandsons and granddaughters have the first responsibility to care for their widowed parent or grandparent. 

I mean, look at the last phrase of this verse – “for this is acceptable in the sight of God.” This word “acceptable” is only used twice in the New Testament, both times in 1 Timothy (2:3 and 5:4). It means to be gladly received because it is pleasing. You see, when we care for our widowed parent, it pleases God. Who doesn’t want to hear that?

APPLICATION

I truly believe children will take care of their parents in the same way their parents took care of them, for the most part. If we are loving and nurturing to our children, when we are old and in need, they will be loving and nurturing. If we are harsh and cruel, well guess what. They will be harsh and cruel.

God intends for family to care for family. The church steps in to assist when the family isn’t there or refuses to help. Your children can be taught to care for the widows now. Contact your church and ask if there are any widows or widowers who need to be visited. Most churches have a long list. Call and make plans to visit them. It may seem awkward the first time, but your children will brighten their day.

Are you willing to care for your family’s widows? Who in your family needs you right now? Don’t let someone else pick up your God given responsibility. Be obedient and see how pleased God is. Remember, you are doing this not so much for your family member. You are doing it for the Lord.

Thank You Lord, for allowing me to care for those in my family who need me. Remind me that this is all for You, not them. I want to please You.

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HOW TO HONOR

1 TIMOTHY 5:3

“Honor widows who are widows indeed;” 

Do you know any widows? I am blessed to know a lot of widows. In fact, my widowed mother-in-law lives with my wife and I. I also know a group of widows at the church I serve. They call the group “Women of Grace.” They truly are that. So, when I read this verse, I asked myself if I am honoring them, as God’s Word commands.

First of all, this word “honor” is a command. We are commanded to do this. Secondly, this word means to “assign value (give honor), as it reflects the personal esteem (value, preciousness) attached to it by the beholder.” You will only honor what you value. 

APPLICATION

What or whom do your children honor? What do they place value in? If your child does not honor their elders, they must not place much value on them. But why should we teach them to do this? Well, perhaps because one day that might be you (the widow or widower). Do you want them to value you? Of course, you do.

But also, we teach them this because it is the right thing to do. Widows and widowers have lost their husband or wife and have that gap in the life. As fellow believers we are commanded to come alongside them and make them feel valued and honored for who they are. That is EXACTLY what Christ would do. In fact, He did just that. Even on the cross, He honored His mother by telling John to take care of her.

Is there a widow or widower in your life to whom you need to honor more? Today make an extra effort to do just that. Take them out for a meal. Give them a call. Drop by to say hello and pray with them. Somehow today let them know just how valued they are by you and by their heavenly Father. I promise you will be the one who is blessed by doing this.

Father, show me the widows to whom You want me to honor today. Feel their lives with joy, hope and blessings. Help me to see them as You do.

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TREAT THEM HOLY

1 TIMOTHY 5:2

“the older women as mothers, and the younger women as sisters, in all purity.”

Treating women special has been around a long time. God has always commanded it. Sin changes that. Look at today’s verse. Paul tells Timothy (and us) to treat women “in all purity.” That word comes from the Greek word for “holy.” Treat them as holy? Really?

Paul isn’t saying we should worship them. He is saying, though, that we should treat them as set apart by God according to His purpose and plan. All women deserve respect. But those who are seeking to follow the Lord in their daily life should also be treated as holy and pure. That’s what God intends for them all.

APPLICATION

As parents we need to instill in our little boys and little girls that girls are different than boys. There is NOTHING belittling about that statement. In fact, it’s meant to be just the opposite. We should let all our daughters, sisters and wives know just how God sees them. They should be treated that way – as special creations in the eyes of our God.

It is up to the husbands, brothers and fathers to do this, however. So, do me a favor. Challenge the men in your life to treat women this way. And dads, YOU have to model this to your sons. They will treat their mom and sisters how you do. They will treat their future wife the way you do. 

So, how are you doing with this? Ladies, do you see yourself as pure? Men, do you see the women in your life as pure? If not, reread today’s verse. This is a command, not a suggestion. If you need to change your view of women, start with God’s view and go no further.

Father, forgive me when I do not see ALL women as you do. Thank You for the godly women you have put in my life. I am blessed because of them.

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IS BODILY EXERCISE WORTH IT?

1 TIMOTHY 4:8

“for bodily discipline is only of little profit, but godliness is profitable for all things, since it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come.”

It seems 1 Timothy is full of one-time used words. We have another one today. The Greek word for “discipline” is gumnasia. Does that look familiar? We get the word “gymnasium” from that. This verse is my proof that we only have so many good heart beats, and we shouldn’t waste them exercising, lol. 

Paul is NOT saying we shouldn’t exercise. But too many people spend hours and hours at the gym and neglect their spiritual bodies. Having a buff and trim physical body will NOT make you more godly. Only exercising your spirit will do that. And that is done through spiritual pushups in the Word, prayer and worship. 

APPLICATION

I bet your little Johnny or Susie does some kind of physical exercise. The next time you are with them when they are doing that, bring up this verse. Perhaps you are riding bikes. Compare the exercise their legs are getting with their spiritual walk with Christ. Maybe they are playing soccer. Compare that to controlling their feet as they maneuver to score a goal for God through righteous living.

You can find hundreds of ways to compare physical exercise and sports to the Christian life. There are literally thousands of books out there. The point is to make sure your children know that exercising their spiritual body is more important than exercising their physical body. This physical body will not see heaven, only the spiritual one will.

Are you obsessed with your physique? Are you so enamored with Cross Fit, yoga or P90x that you spend all your spare time in that? Try this for a week. Spend the same amount of time studying God’s Word as you do exercising. I promise you that you feel the difference spiritually.

Lord, I am guilty of not exercising enough physically. I know this body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. But Father, I want to exercise my spiritual body just as much. Help me keep in shape spiritually.

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