Monthly Archives: October 2024

Bible, Child Raising, Children, Discipline, Father, Instruction, Scripture

A FATHER’S ROLE

EPHESIANS 6:4

“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”

Being a father is a role I don’t take lightly. Even though my children, Christopher and Casey, are grown, I still relish my role as their dad. I have not always been the best dad. I’ll admit that. I am far from perfect. However, I have always tried to speak to them through the lense of my heavenly Father’s love. Looking back, I can see things I could have done better.

In today’s verse, Paul is encouraging fathers to correct their children in a way as to not provoke or exasperate them. That word “provoke” means to not be overdemanding or so strict as to discourage your child. And Paul gives them direction in what to do – to bring them up with discipline and instruction. Fathers carry a heavy responsible here.

APPLICATION

Think about your garden or your flower bed. If you don’t tend that properly, you will soon have a takeover of weeds and thorns. Tending your garden takes time and proper attention. It’s the same with your children. “Discipline” means “instruction that trains someone to reach full development (maturity).” (HELPS Word studies). It’s the same word used in 2 Timothy 3:16 which says, “All Scripture is inspired by God and beneficial for teaching, for rebuke, for correction, for training in righteousness;”

“Instruction” means “improves a person’s reasoning so they can reach God’s solution – i.e. by going through His thought-process.” (HELPS Word studies). Fathers need to instruct their children so they think properly according to God’s principles and commands. Too many parents want to let their children make their own minds up about religion or faith. Do you let them decide to go to school or not? Do you let them decide when it is time to go to the doctor? I don’t think so. Those are both temporal, earthly issues. We are talking about their eternal souls. We need to instruct them properly.

Fathers, you may be thinking it is too late. Your child is a teen, or they are grown. It is never too late. Pour into your children now. Point them to Jesus. Live it out in front of them daily so they are drawn to the Lord. If they see you living your life as an example of Jesus, they are more likely to hear Him calling them. Be the man of God He wants you to be.

Father, help all the dads out there live out their faith in such a way that their children are drawn to You.

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Bible, Children, Honor, Parents, Promises, Scripture

THE PROMISES OF GOD

EPHESIANS 6:3

“SO THAT IT MAY TURN OUT WELL FOR YOU, AND THAT YOU MAY LIVE LONG ON THE EARTH.”

God’s promises are true, no matter what. One of my favorite promises is found in Isaiah 41:10. “‘Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not be afraid, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will also help you, I will also uphold you with My righteous right hand.’” There are so many promises to quote, but I want to limit myself to just a few. If you want a fuller list, check out this site: https://www.biblestudytools.com/topical-verses/gods-promises-verses-in-the-bible/

In today’s verse we see Paul continuing to quote from the Old Testament command to honor your parents. Here we see the promise He gives to children for that obedience. He says things “may turn out well for you” and “you may live long on the earth.” Those are some good promises. That does not mean every child who obeys will be rich and live to be 100. But it does promise that He will care and watch after them.

APPLICATION

Albert Barnes says this about the promise of long life. “(1) that long life is a blessing. (2) it is still true that obedience to parents is conducive to length of life, and that those who are most obedient in early life, other things being equal, have the best prospect of living long. This occurs because: (a) obedient children are saved from the vices and crimes which shorten life. (b) Obedience to parents is connected with virtuous habits that are conducive to long life. (c) Many a life is lost early by disobeying a parent. (d) We may still believe that God, in his providence, will watch over those who are obedient to a father and mother.” Those are pretty good, huh?

I was walking this morning and listening to praise music and a song came on that speaks to this issue of God’s promises. Part of the chorus says this, “I’m reaping the promises God gave to me, taking back what the devil stole from me.” (From Faithful – Faithful is Our God) Don’t you just love that? As I obey the Lord, I can reap those promises He has given me. The devil comes to kill, steal and destroy. (John 10:10) But with God’s strength, I can reclaim those promises.

One of my all-time favorite verses on God’s promises is found near the end of Joshua. In 21:45 we read, “Not one of the good promises which the LORD had made to the house of Israel failed; everything came to pass.” That is still true today. It is for Israel, and it is for us. If God said it, that settles it. Amen? So, today walk in the promises of God.

You are so faithful, Lord, to keep all Your promises to us.

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Bible, Children, Honor, Obedience, Parenting, Scripture

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO HONOR?

EPHESIANS 6:2

“HONOR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER (which is the first commandment with a promise),”

I have to say I had some pretty good parents. They weren’t perfect but who is. They raised four children who all grew up to be pretty responsible adults. I can’t think of a reason why I would not have honored my parents. I didn’t always agree with them, and I sure didn’t like some of their rules, but I feel like I honored them pretty well.

In yesterday’s blog, I began discussing Paul’s address to the children. Let’s talk a little about this “honor” word, though. The Hebrew word which is what Paul is quoting here, is kabad or kabed. It has a lot of definitions ranging from heavy, weighty, burdensome or honorable. Context tells us how it is being used. And here it means to show honor. In other words, to obey. It is not a complicated command, is it? Simple – just honor.

APPLICATION

But Carl, what do you do if your parents aren’t honorable? What if they are abusive or tell you to do things that are wrong? God does not expect children to honor such individuals. He would never tell you to submit to that kind of treatment. God is our protector and defender. I know, I know, children still get abused by parents. It breaks my heart, and I don’t understand it. I think hell will have a hotter corner for those who abuse innocent children.

When the command is mentioned again in Deuteronomy 5:16, it is expanded upon. “‘Honor your father and your mother, just as the LORD your God has commanded you, so that your days may be prolonged and that it may go well for you on the land which the LORD your God is giving you.’” We have a specific promised blessing for honoring our parents. God will bless us with a long life and prosperity in the land.

I don’t know your circumstance, but everyone of us reading this blog is a child of someone. Perhaps your abusive parent is still alive. You are grown now and are safe. How do you honor them now or do you? Ask the Lord. He will tell you what to do. Perhaps He will use you to draw them to a saving knowledge of Jesus. Just remember – God loves you and desires your obedience in all things.

Father, for some it is hard to show honor to their parents. Protect their hearts and show them how to obey Your command.

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Bible, Children, Disobedience, Grandchildren, Obedience, Parenting, Scripture

OBEDIENT CHILDREN

EPHESIANS 6:1

“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.”

What parent doesn’t want obedient children?! Can I get an Amen? Lol. Of course, we want children to obey us, but why? Well, there are just supposed to, Carl. Children should be seen but not heard. Yeah, right! Do you really believe that? I didn’t think so. Children are gift from the Lord. We are so blessed to have them in our lives. Isn’t it great that the Lord gives us so much instruction about them and for them?

After spending the last several verses discussing husbands and wives, he turns to the children. Now, as far as we know, Paul didn’t have any children. But remember, he is simply passing along the Lord’s words through the Holy Spirit. He says in today’s verse that children should obey their parents because it is right. We’ll look back at the Law in a bit and look at that command God gave Moses. This letter would have probably been read aloud in the Ephesian church, so the children who were present would have sat up and listened when they heard they were being addressed specifically.

APPLICATION

We all know the ten commandments, don’t we? The fifth commandment is the one addressed to children. Exodus 20:12 says, “‘Honor your father and your mother, so that your days may be prolonged on the land which the LORD your God gives you.’” It is the only commandment with a promise. I think that is pretty cool, don’t you? God specifically talks to the children here in Exodus.

I can remember going away on business trips when my kids were little. I bet you can guess what I told them, can’t you? I would say, “Now, you mind your mother and no fighting.” They were usually pretty good, but occasionally I would come home to a very frustrated wife due to their behavior. Our children weren’t always perfect little angels.

Chances are there are not any children reading my blog right now. So, you parents and grandparents need to share this with the kids. Remind them that God expects obedience. A child that won’t obey their parents won’t obey God either. That is our goal as parents – to raise children who love and obey God. Why? So they will raise obedient children (our grandchildren). That’s our payoff, lol.

Father I need to be Your obedient child every day as well.

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Bible, Husbands, Love, Respect, Scripture, Wives

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

EPHESIANS 5:33

“Nevertheless, as for you individually, each husband is to love his own wife the same as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.”

Back in the 1960’s Aretha Franklin had a hit song entitled, “R-E-S-P-E-C-T.” The song was talking about her wanting a little respect from her man when she comes home. Even though the song was super popular and really made her a star, the message is all wrong. Biblically speaking, it is the woman who is supposed to show respect to the man, not the other way around. Now, before you get mad and stop reading, I am not saying a woman should not be respected. I am saying when a man is shown the respect God intended from his wife, there will be reciprocal respect shown.

Notice today’s verse. Paul is wrapping up this passage on husbands and wives with this message. Husbands love your wives. Wives respect your husbands. Paul does not say husbands respect your wives and wives love your husbands. It is just understood that if each is following the Lord’s commands which He has given them, each will receive the love and respect they deserve. (look back and yesterday’s blog and the point about the triangle)

APPLICATION

We know the word for “love” in this verse. It’s the Greek word of God’s love, agapao. But what is the Greek word for “respect”? It is phobeó, which means to fear, dread, show reverence to, to be afraid, or to be terrified. Now, context is the key. Look how this word is used in Matthew 1:20. This is the scene in which the angel of the Lord appears to Joseph about Mary. “But when he had thought this over, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, ‘Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife; for the Child who has been conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit.’” Here, phobeó obviously means to not fear or be terrified.

In Luke 1:50 we see this word used again, but in a similar way it is used our verse today. This is Mary speaking during her Magnificat. “‘And His mercy is to generation after generation toward those who fear Him.’” We are not to be scared of God. Instead, we are to show Him reverence and respect. That’s how Paul is using this word in Ephesians 5:33.

Unfortunately, too many women do fear their husbands because of their brutality. God does not expect wives to have to deal with that. God’s plan for marriage works perfectly when both parties are following Him. If you are in an abusive marriage, seek help now. Don’t stay a victim of fear. If you are in a healthy marriage (notice I didn’t say perfect), do it God’s way. Let each of you show each other the love and respect God expects from you.

O God, thank You for showing us how to love well. Thank You for healthy marriages that model Christ’s love for the church.

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Bible, Christ, Church, Husbands, Mystery, Scripture, Wives

DON’T YOU LOVE A GOOD MYSTERY?

EPHESIANS 5:32

“This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church.”

I love a good mystery movie. The more mysterious the better. Trying to figure out “who done it” is fun and exciting. Sometimes, that mystery is revealed early and at other times it is revealed at the very end. The mystery keeps you glued to the movie.

In today’s verse, Paul uses a phrase “this mystery is great” which makes you wonder. But then he reveals the mystery in the next phrase, “but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. One scholar, Alford, says this, “the matter mystically alluded to in the Apostle’s application of the text just quoted; the mystery of the spiritual union of Christ with our humanity, typified by the close conjunction of the marriage state.” There you have it. Paul is continuing his analogy of husbands and wives with Christ and the church.

APPLICATION

One cannot explain the mysterious union that occurs in a marriage when the husband and wife truly seek the Lord. I have heard numerous pastors explain it with a triangle. The husband and wife are at the two bottom angles and God is at the top angle. The closer the husband gets to God and the closer the wife gets to God, the closer they get to each other. You may not see that physically, but spiritually they are continually drawing closer. It is truly a mystery.

The Greek word for “mystery” is mustérion which “is not something unknowable. Rather, it is what can only be known through revelation, i.e. because God reveals it. (HELPS Word studies). God is not trying to keep secrets. But neither is He going to give it all to you at once. It would probably literally blow our minds. God’s mysterious knowledge is disclosed to us as we are ready after we seek for it.

Look at this passage from Luke 8:9-10. “9 Now His disciples began asking Him what this parable meant. 10 And He said, ‘To you it has been granted to know the mysteries of the kingdom of God, but to the rest they are told in parables, so that while seeing they may not see, and while hearing they may not understand.’” Christ spoke in mysteries so only true seekers would understand. Are you seeking? Or are you still stuck trying to figure this whole God thing out? Ask Him. He will show you.

Father, I will never understand all the mysteries of Your kingdom until I reach Glory. Until then, help me continue to seek.

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Bible, Commands, Husbands, Marriage, Scripture, Wives

LEAVE AND CLEAVE

EPHESIANS 5:31

“FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND HIS MOTHER AND BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH.”

Many a marriage struggles with the concept of leaving and cleaving. Some men just won’t leave mama and daddy. They pull their wife into their parents’ lives and do not spend the time to make their own lives. Family is important, but a man must set up his own household and not force his wife to simply adopt his. I am not saying a man should forsake his parents and siblings. No! But neither should he just make his wife an extension of those relationships.

Paul refers back to the verse found in Genesis 2:24 as he continues to discuss husbands and wives. That verse says, “For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.” Even Jesus referred to this same verse in Matthew 19:5-6. Jesus said, “5 ‘FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND HIS MOTHER AND BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH’? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, no person is to separate.’” 

APPLICATION

This is one of the easy applications, if we will just do it. Men, we must support our wives in this. What do I mean by that? Well, we don’t compare our wife’s cooking to our moms. Honey, I bet if you asked mama how she cooks her chicken, she could help you. Not a smart comment. I am reminded of the tv show, Everyone Loves Raymond. Raymond never cut the apron strings, thus causing daily conflict with his wife. Sure, the writers made it appear like it was humorous, but in reality, not so much.

In the Genesis passage, the word “leave” literally means to forsake or loosen. God is telling husbands that their priority now is to his wife and their new family. The word “joined” means to cling and keep close. He says we are no longer two. We are one in the flesh. Jesus goes even further (He could because He is God) and says, “let no man separate.”

So, husbands, step up and cleave. Be joined to your bride as one. Support her. Cling to her. Serve her. Respect and honor your parents, for sure. But know that now your main allegiance is to your wife and family. God will honor you for that.

Father, help all husbands see the needs of their wives and cling to her in faith.

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Bible, Body, Family, Husbands, Scripture, Wives

ONE BODY

EPHESIANS 5:30

“because we are parts of His body.”

Have you ever been part of a group or club that was real close? I have had the privilege to have been parts of a couple of groups like that. One was a men’s Bible study group called “Bubba Land.” This group started out for men who loved the outdoors (hunting, fishing, hiking, etc). The name “Bubba” just kind of described this bunch of guys. But man, did we love each other! I could have called any one of those guys at any time for anything and they would have come running. Now that I live in Knoxville, I can’t be a part of that group anymore. Miss those guys!

The NASB translation leaves out part of the Greek text. Literally it reads, “for members we are of His body, of His flesh and of His bones.” That’s pretty descriptive. Of course, Paul is continuing to give the analogy of a husband and wife comparing them to Christ and the church. In Genesis 2:23 we hear Adam exclaim, “‘At last this is bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; She shall be called “woman,” because she was taken out of man.’”

APPLICATION

We are called the “body of Christ” throughout the New Testament. 1 Corinthians 12:27 says, “Now you are Christ’s body, and individually parts of it.” In Romans 12:4-5, Paul says this right before he starts talking about spiritual gifts. “4 For just as we have many parts in one body and all the body’s parts do not have the same function, 5 so we, who are many, are one body in Christ, and individually parts of one another.” Yes, we are separate, but we make a whole.

In the same way, when a husband and wife come together in marriage, they cease to be separate entities. They are now one. Doesn’t it say a man should leave his parents and cleave to his wife? His body belongs to her, and her body belongs to him. They are physically, emotionally and spiritually joined together as one. How beautiful is that?

Unfortunately, our society gives us too much freedom to just walk away from our union with our spouse. We “fall out of love.” We “grow apart.” No, no, no! We are bound together. We have responsibilities for each other. Don’t let the world tell you how to love your husband or your wife. Go to God. He has the answers. You are one.

Thank You, Lord, for joining me with my wife and giving us a life together.

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Bible, Cherish, Husbands, Nourish, Scripture, Wives

CHERISHING

EPHESIANS 5:29

“for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church,”

I love to eat a good meal. My wife and I found a great Mexican restaurant here in Knoxville recently. (If you want the name of it, let me know, lol) Nourishing our bodies is why we eat, right? We also like to wear nice things. We want to look good when people see us. I don’t mean we have to have expensive things – just nice enough to look good.

In today’s verse Paul continues with the commands to the husband in regard to his wife. Many scholars believe Paul is referencing the commands echoed in Exodus 21:10. “If he takes to himself another woman, he may not reduce her food, her clothing, or her conjugal rights.” Paul is not saying men should take multiple wives, but he is saying that he should nourish (not reduce her food) and cherish her (provide clothing). Men have a responsibility to provide for his wives need, just as much as he provides for his own needs.

APPLICATION

The Greek word used here for “nourishes” is ektrephó which means to feed properly or bring to maturity. Paul uses the same word later in this letter to the Ephesians in Ephesians 6:4. “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” These are the only two times this word is used. Paul is not saying husbands should treat their wives as children. Instead, he is saying husbands need to help bring their wives to a spiritual maturity.

When Paul tells husbands to cherish their wives, he uses the Greek word thalpó. HELPS Word studies defines this word this way. “to keep warm; (figuratively) “warm someone up” (= revive their health) by nourishing and nurturing.” What husband doesn’t want to keep their wife warm? That is done by providing clothing and a home. And what wife doesn’t want that?

Husbands, if you are reading this, take this command seriously. Your wife needs this, and you need to do it. Nourish her! Cherish her! Remember, you are doing this in response to Christ’s love for you. And wives, whether your husband is obedient to do this or not, remember you are cherished by your Lord. He knows you and loves you.

Father, lead all husbands to nourish and cherish their wives as Christ does toward the church.

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Bible, Husbands, Love, Scripture, Wives

LOVE THYSELF

EPHESIANS 5:28

“So husbands also ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself;”

Getting old ain’t for sissies, or so I’ve been told. With age comes the struggle to keep weight off. Exercise seems harder. I really try to stay somewhat fit, but boy it’s a struggle. My wife says I like bread too much. True! And I pay for it on the scales. But I want to take care of this old body as much as I can so I can be of use for kingdom work.

In today’s verse, Paul compares the love a husband has for his own body to how much he loves his wife. Barnes puts it so well in his commentary on this verse. He says, “by this, he really promotes his own welfare, as much as he does when he takes care of his own body. A man’s kindness to his wife will be more than repaid by the happiness which she imparts; and all the real solicitude which he shows to make her happy, will come to more than it costs. If a man wishes to promote his own happiness in the most effectual way, he had better begin by showing kindness to his wife.”

APPLICATION

The Greek word for “ought” is ophello which “refers to being morally obligated (or legally required) to meet an obligation, i.e. to pay off a legitimate debt.” (HELPS Word studies.) I owe it to myself to love my wife as much as I love myself. By doing that, I am also caring for myself. You may have heard the expression “Happy Wife, Happy Life.” Well, that’s true, isn’t it?

You may be thinking, I don’t love myself very well, Carl. How will that affect loving my wife? That is a very good question. You need to know who you are in Christ. You need to love yourself. If you don’t, you are likely to take that out on your wife by not loving her well. You don’t have to be cocky and snobby about it. Just be secure in who you are in Christ.

I jokingly say most mornings that I got better looking during the night. Of course, I am usually corrected rather quickly by whoever hears me say that. But I do love myself. I love being able to love my wife well. Do I do that perfectly? Of course not. Most days I fall way short of doing that. But my heart every day is to show her the love of Christ. So, man up, big boy! Love your wife well.

Father, help me to love my wife more than I love myself. Help me show her Jesus every day.

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